


Peer Pressure

by Florexandra, morningssofgold



Category: Prodigal Son (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Drama & Romance, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Night Terrors, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Romantic Angst, Romantic Fluff, Second Chances, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 56,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26996023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florexandra/pseuds/Florexandra, https://archiveofourown.org/users/morningssofgold/pseuds/morningssofgold
Summary: When darkness is easy and pain is comfortable, hope can be scary. How can one start to hope again? You find a reason and even when that reason is unexpected, you hope for happiness.In which, Dani gives Malcolm a second chance to start again.Set post 1x20(Previously titled "Wonder What It's Like")
Relationships: Malcolm Bright/Dani Powell
Comments: 26
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _So I give you my everything and you keep on teasing_   
>  _With that look in your eyes 'cause you know I believe it_   
>  _I don't usually give in to peer pressure_   
>  _Oh, but I'll give in to yours_
> 
> _Peer Pressure // James Bay & Julia Michaels_

_“My...girl…”_

Malcolm stared at his sister’s shell-shocked, blood splattered face and the mangled corpse of the Big Pharma scion laying at her feet. Nicholas Endicott’s lifeblood staining their mother’s Persian rug. His father’s impressed voice suddenly sounding far away.

“Dr. Whitly, I have to go,” Malcolm said quietly, still staring at Ainsley looking down at her bloody hands as if they didn’t belong to her.

“Wait, just a minute my boy…” Martin was far too pleased with this very new and very harrowing development. “I do know someone who can _take care_ of things. I can make a call or two.”

“How do you have phone privileges?’ Malcolm asked despite himself suddenly aware of the chaos coming from the other line. He knew he was buying time as enlisting help from his father was akin to making a deal with the devil himself and he didn’t know if the reward outweighed the risk.

“As I said, things are looking up for me. Now...do you want my help or not?” Malcolm could see his father’s demented grin in his mind’s eye. What might’ve just ruined all of their lives–he was loving.

Malcolm closed his eyes, willing this not to be another mistake, “Okay.”

“Splendid! I’m just going to–”

“Goodbye, Dr. Whitly.” Malcolm hung up, shoving his phone in his pocket. His attention now fully on his sister.

“Ains…” Malcolm advanced closer trying not to step in the blood inching closer to his feet as his mother’s living room was now a crime scene at least until his father worked his evil magic–whatever that entailed.

_“Don’t touch me!”_ Ainsley shrieked, her eyes wild, looking around the room frantically as though there were people here other than the two of them and a dead man.

“Okay...I won’t. I won’t come any closer. You’re safe here, I promise,” Malcolm raised his hands where Ainsley could see them, speaking calmly–soothingly. The way he spoke to countless other killers many times before.

_Other killers...Christ. She’s my little sister_ , Malcolm thought, hating that he’d allowed himself to normalize this moment. That he allowed himself to see his scared little sister as another person he’d dedicated his life to studying, despite the fact that he witnessed her lose control in a fit of rage nearly decapitating a man and stabbing him in the chest seven times.

Malcolm took a deep, steadying breath, trying again, “Ains–"

“ _Malcolm?_ What on Earth did you...?” Malcolm and Ainsley turned toward the sound of their mother’s voice and the sound of her stilettos on the hardwood. Both of them took in the absolute shock on their mother’s now ashen face as she stared at Ainsley’s bloody face and the lifeless body next to her antique chair.

“Mom…” Ainsley’s eyes widened, her fear evident.

Their mother tore her eyes away from Ainsley before landing squarely on Malcolm, “Go upstairs.” Her voice low, the way it always was when she was in no mood for arguing.

“Mother, I called Dad, he said–”

Jessica held up a manicured hand cutting him off, “Malcolm Harrison Whitly, go upstairs. _Now._ ”

Malcolm held his mother’s stare. She didn’t want him to see who was coming and what they were going to do. She didn’t want him to hear her talking to Ainsley. She didn’t want him to be a potential co-conspirator in the eyes of the law. He’d just been exonerated for murder less than an hour ago.

She was protecting him. She never had until now.

––––––––––––––  
_Sophie. Ainsley. Endicott._

Those were the people circling around in his head. He’d gotten his closure but his lawyers called to inform him that not only was his case being dropped as Endicott was behind the forging and planting of his DNA on Eddie’s body but apparently a woman just turned herself in as the one behind Eddie’s murder.

Malcolm knew exactly who that woman was. This was connected to him as well but he didn’t want to–he _couldn’t_ –reopen the box he’d finally closed and now there was _this._

His mother had told him about a half an hour ago that everything was fine now and she was headed back to the hospital to look after Gil, whose status was still undetermined. Everything wasn’t fine and it might never be but Malcolm felt like he knew what he had to do.

Malcolm continued to pace the length of his childhood room. He was growing anxious, frustrated and he could feel the mania threatening to swallow him whole. Before he even knew what he was doing, he found himself dialing Dani.

“Bright?” Dani picked up on the second ring. She always did.

“Yeah...uh...where are you?” His voice sounded strangled and alien to his own ears but the rising tide of everything he’d been trying to hold back quieted at the sound of her voice.

“I’m just getting back to the hospital. JT and I went to serve Endicott and he wasn’t there. He's not _anywhere._ ” He could hear his partner’s–if he could even still call her that–frustration through the line. Malcolm knew how much she wanted to nail Endicott to the wall. Dani probably wanted it more than he did and she never would and neither would he.

“Hey...could you come to my mother’s…” Malcolm was asking too much of her. He always did but he didn’t know how to ask for what he really wanted of his partner. He remembered that epiphany he’d gained from talking to Leanne, the homicidal necrophiliac. In a strange way, he understood the disturbed woman’s fixation with corpses–her need for connection without the possibility of rejection.

He understood that very well.

Dani was his closest friend who then became his partner and somewhere along the way, his feelings for her began to change and he began to want more. He began to wonder what it would be like to be loved by her and how that would feel.

Those thoughts were dangerous and in the face of the constant kindness and care Dani showed him–Malcolm pushed her away. He pushed her away before she could reject him and worse, he treated Dani as though she already had.

Now, he _needed_ her.

“Uh...okay…” Dani’s exhausted frustration shifted to confusion. “I’m leaving now.”

“Thank you, Dani.” Malcolm exhaled a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “Can you do me a favor...come alone.”

––––––––––––––––––

Dani walked through Malcolm’s childhood home–a strange and overwhelming rubbing alcohol scent filling her nose upon entrance. The few times she’d been to Jessica Whitly’s home–including earlier in the day–Dani remembered it smelling like roses despite the relative absence of fresh flowers.

The darkened and seemingly empty manor with its antique furniture and portraits of Malcolm’s unsmiling ancestors made her skin crawl. She knew bits and pieces of the sort of things that happened here–what The Surgeon had done to innocent people just beneath her feet. As she made her way upstairs per Malcolm’s directions, she tried not to focus on the fact that she was unarmed in a literal house of horrors.

Moreover, when Malcolm called he didn’t sound like himself. He sounded breathless like he’d just finished running for miles. He sounded spooked and despite everything–despite his lies and inconsistency–Dani had to go to him. He’d been there for her just hours before and she had to do the same.

“Bright?” Dani stood in the doorway of what apparently was Malcolm’s childhood room, watching him pace back and forth, his hands raking through his thick chestnut hair. He turned towards her, his chest heaving and his eyes wild.

“Hey,” The tiniest hint of a smile curving his lips at the sight of her. “You made it.”

Dani nodded walking closer to Malcolm, feeling the unstable energy coming off him in waves. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, Dani,” Malcolm huffed out a humorless chuckle that sounded on the verge of hysteria as he continued to rake his hands over his hair.

_This isn’t good._

Dani had been on the other side of Malcolm’s meltdowns before. She’d stood strong as he lashed out in anger after solving his ex-girlfriend’s murder. She’d been trying to make him feel better despite how much it hurt to see him fall apart over someone who, in the end, didn’t deserve his grief. Eve Blanchard had lied to him and used him for her own gain but somehow Malcolm seemed genuinely angry at _Dani_ and she didn’t know why.

Malcolm wasn’t destroying things or shouting at her but Dani knew crisis when she saw it.

“Okay,” she said slowly, stepping just a little closer. Dani hoped that whatever Malcolm was feeling, he knew he didn’t have to feel it alone. “What _do_ you know?”

“Do you want to know why you can’t find Endicott? My sister killed him.” Dani felt ice inch up her spine at the sudden, unceremonious admission and the manic light in Malcolm’s pale eyes practically blinding her. “In the living room downstairs. She _killed_ him. She slit his throat and stabbed him in the chest. Just like that.”

“Bright...I’m sorry,” Dani didn’t know what to say or if sorry would even suffice but she was. She wasn’t sorry Nicholas Endicott was dead but she was sorry Malcolm had to see that–that he had to live through that. More violence, more trauma, more of everything he knew so well.

Malcolm didn’t appear to hear her as he suddenly started pacing again and all she could do was watch him. “I know what I have to do...I’ll turn myself in.”

_“What?!_ Bright, no!” Dani couldn’t believe her ears at the moment. She was well acquainted with Malcolm and his martyr complex as she’d seen him attempt to throw himself away countless times but she couldn’t believe _this._

“Dani, it’s perfect. I’ll say I did it. I didn’t obviously and no one would be able to prove that I did–”

“Bright, are you listening to yourself right now?” Dani knew he was upset but she had to get her partner to see reason. Part of the reason she’d been so furious with him was even when he’d been framed and on house arrest, he was still taking risks, skirting laws and being reckless. Malcolm didn’t care and he still didn’t, despite how much _she_ did.

Malcolm turned back to her, his eyes silver in the lamplight and clouded with unshed tears. “...Ainsley doesn’t deserve to go to jail.”

Dani willed her voice to be steady, despite the rising panic that Malcolm was going to do something he couldn’t come back from. Even if his scheme worked, that was still perjury and he was still liable and he would still be lost to her. “And you do? Bright, I know you wanna help your sister but this isn’t it. You don’t _have_ to do this.”

Malcolm smiled that smile–the one pulled at the corners of his eyes and spoke of the type of pain that may subside but never truly went away. “Dani, you don’t understand. I have... _nothing._ ”

All he had was a parakeet, an empty apartment and murder to make him feel alive and with purpose but even murder had its limitations.

Malcolm had begged his ex to stay with him even though he knew Eve was a liar, even though he knew she didn’t care about him because for a moment, he could make himself believe he had _something_. The humiliation stung now knowing Eve had left that breakup voicemail on his phone after she’d gotten what she wanted from him and what she wanted hadn’t been him.

He’d never had anything and he _never_ would.

Dani tilted her head, her shoulder length curls dusting her thin shoulders, her eyes black and luminous in the low light of the bedroom. “That’s not true.”

The tenderness and compassion Malcolm saw in her pretty face pained him. It always did.

Dani was so _good_. She would say this to anyone who needed to hear it and those words he’d spoken to Leanne–how life was about risk and he couldn’t keep running from his heart–died on his tongue when he came face to face with just how much of himself he was risking.

“Of course it is,” Malcolm mumbled, unable to hold her gaze and accept her encouragement.

“No, it’s not,” Dani sighed, reaching out and gently lifting his chin the way she did the very first night they met, only this time he didn’t pull away. Her heart twisted in her chest as she’d seen this very same look just hours ago when Malcolm told them that despite the evidence against him, despite the actions that made her question just _who_ he was–he wasn’t his father. She saw vulnerability and a well of sadness, the same as now. “You have me.”

Malcolm closed his eyes tightly, the longest lashes Dani had ever seen on a man fluttering against the tops of his cheeks. “Don’t...don’t say something you don’t mean.”

“I’ve never lied to you, Bright.” Dani said softly as Malcolm’s eyes opened slowly. A sort of wonder illuminating a face that had always been mired in shadow. “Whatever happens, we’re gonna get through this together. I’m not gonna leave you alone.”

“You promise?” Malcolm murmured in a voice so small she almost didn’t hear.

“I promise,” Dani vowed as she leaned in a bit, tilting his chin towards her, pressing her lips to his. For just two heartbeats and only the slightest bit of pressure–more butterfly kiss than anything else.

She knew things had been weird between them and they had been since that morning with the landmine and maybe she shouldn’t have, but she was just so damn tired of walking on eggshells around him, Dani _needed_ Malcolm to know that she was here and she _wanted_ to be.

“Dani...I–” Malcolm breathed, his eyes on her lips. His hands at some point found their way to her waist, holding her tightly as though she’d disappear if he let go. She could feel his tremors through her thin charcoal sweater. He wanted to say more and so did she but now wasn’t the right time.

“Whatever you wanna say to me...we have time, okay?” Malcolm nodded as the tension he’d been carrying with him since God only knew when eased instantly.

_She’s promising...time_ , he thought as he stared into Dani’s dark eyes. Looking, searching, seeking anything that told him this wasn’t what he’d been dreaming of–that she didn’t feel it too.

He didn’t find that at all.

Malcolm saw what he always did but could never believe was for him and he wouldn’t go through with his plan to take the fall for his sister. He would trust Dani. He’d stop doubting her and himself.

–––––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm groaned awake at the sound of the universally annoying iPhone alarm going off at his usual 7:30 despite having fallen asleep only two hours prior. He wasn’t at home and he didn’t have his inspirational music alarm that usually helped–or at least tried to–help him start the day because he was at his mother’s house in the bed he hadn’t slept in since he was eight at his mother’s behest.

Instead of feeling inspired, he felt irritated and rather cranky.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Malcolm silenced the alarm only to find a text from Dani. Irritation and crankiness dissolving entirely as he sat up a bit straighter.

_New case, Central Park West. See you in a bit_ , the text read and instead of welcoming the distraction from the insanity that was his life at the moment, he just felt deflated. He didn’t know what he expected from his partner but if he were being honest, he was hoping for a little more than just work.

Weeks prior, he’d needlessly shut Dani out of his life, pretending he was done with her and everything he felt for her and today, he was expecting a sweet good morning text.

_Were you expecting a pet name too?_ Malcolm shook his head, internally berating himself for giving credence to such silliness. Of course, she was texting him about work.

As much as he tried to tell himself things were the same as they’d always been, Malcolm thought of that night two weeks ago.

_Whatever happens, we’re gonna get through this together. I’m not gonna leave you alone._ The words Dani spoke to him just as he felt the dam breaking filtered through his head every minute of every day since she spoke them to him–since she kissed him.

The kiss was chaste and quick but he couldn’t forget the softness of her full lips and the fire on his own they left behind. Malcolm hadn’t seen Dani much since then. He’d been sequestered at the Manor and she’d been at work with a much heavier load since Gil was still on the mend and in the hospital, thankfully improving every day.

Dani told him to hold onto those words he’d been holding inside since she reassured him he wasn’t damaged beyond repair. She was the only one who believed that and much worse, she made him believe her.

Malcolm was anxious to see her and a little...afraid. Would Dani pretend the kiss didn’t happen or would she treat him _differently?_

He didn’t have the answer to that but Malcolm knew he couldn’t let his fear rule him this time. He needed to face it, he’d said that before but he hadn’t been ready to.

Now, he was.

––––––––––––––––

“Look who finally decided to show up fifteen minutes late with Starbucks,” JT drawled over his notepad, once Malcolm had finally made his way to the crime scene in Central Park West just as Dani said.

“Well, like Jesus of Nazareth, I, too, work in mysterious ways,” Malcolm quipped, spotting Dani standing across from a pale misshapen mass that was a body once, her lip adorably curled in disgust.

“Bro, it’s too early in the day to be comparing yourself to Jesus,” JT replied unimpressed, going back to scribbling in his notepad choosing not to remark on the cup of Earl Grey that Malcolm pushed into Dani’s cold hands.

Dani accepted his gesture with a quiet “thank you” and a warm smile that relieved Malcolm of all of this morning’s prior anxiety, making him realize he should’ve done this when he’d promised to do better. It was only tea but it was start and maybe that was all Dani wanted to begin with.

“Oh, Bright’s here!” Edrisa said eagerly from her spot on her hands and knees, peering over their victim.

The Medical Examiner’s predictable excitement at his appearance faded quickly, Edrisa’s eyes widening at the sight of the cup in Dani’s hands that he’d obviously brought to her, making Malcolm all the more conscious of how close he and Dani were standing–close enough for him to smell her perfume on the wind. Something fruity and floral and altogether amazing.

“In the flesh,” Malcolm smiled at Edrisa politely before clearing his throat and quickly moving around the victim and away from Dani despite the sweet tones of her perfume lingering in his nose. “What do we got?”

“John Doe, full rigor has already set in and the cause of death appears to be–” Dani replied over the lid of the tea, her tone matter of fact despite the softness in her eyes as she addressed his question. A softness that elicited a strange and awful sort of longing Malcolm was wholly unfamiliar with.

“Exsanguination,” he finished for her, recognizing right away that their victim had been drained entirely of blood. He squatted down to get a better look.

“Not only is it super weird but this sort of killing is purposeful and it’s not quick,” Dani said, her carefully groomed brows furrowed. “I mean, to fully drain someone that would take like...” she trailed off, glancing down a bit. A pretty pink flush colored her cheeks as she realized Malcolm was now staring at her.

“No, go ahead, tell me more,” he grinned crookedly, biting his lip leading Dani to blush harder.

He was definitely interested in Dani’s preliminary profile and he honestly wondered what it said about him that he found her ability to craft one _insanely_ attractive–at least when he wasn’t the subject of it.

Malcolm ignored JT uncomfortably glancing between him and Dani, looking dangerously close to accusing them of flirting over a dead body. He instead chose to affect interest in Edrisa obliviously prattling on about bloodletting techniques, hoping he appeared to be the professional he was instead of the infatuated adolescent he felt like.

–––––––––––––––

“Not heading home?” Dani asked as she shrugged out of her leather bomber jacket and sat down beside him in the conference room, case files spread over the table in front of them.

“What _is_ home exactly?” Malcolm responded without thinking, wincing as that sounded unintentionally bitter. He’d taken his anger and frustration out on Dani before and he was ashamed and apologetic despite not being brave enough to admit as such.

He took a deep breath before glancing at Dani who didn’t appear to be upset with him, only waiting patiently for him to continue.

Malcolm sighed, “I mean, my mother is being hypervigilant right now, breathing down my neck and watching my every move because Ainsley’s gonna turn herself in soon and I don’t know...being at my mother’s house feels strange somehow and going back to my place with the crime scene tape still on the door because of what I let happen…” _Because I was too cowardly, too weak to do the right thing, to stand on my own,_ he finished silently.

“I wish I knew what to tell you,” Dani replied softly, her hand finding his underneath the table, squeezing it gently. _He’s not pushing me away again… good,_ Dani thought to herself. _Maybe things really have changed._

He smiled accepting her comfort and her honesty. Malcolm didn’t want platitudes and somehow Dani seemed to know that but when it came to him, she always did. That was what made her so much of a risk to him. It was hard to feel _known_ but not feel _wanted_ too.

He supposed that was also how Eve had been able to use him so easily. Malcolm shook his head, unwilling to let old pain control him. He needed to lay those mistakes to rest just as his ex herself had been.

“You don’t have to tell me anything and honestly, I’m sorry I only talk to you about my problems,” Malcolm said quietly but meaning it. He wished he knew how to talk to her like how a normal guy would talk to a girl he liked but it was him and all he had to give was dysfunction and misery.

“Well, you did say you liked talking to me once…” Dani’s gentle encouragement never wavering for a moment, despite how those old feelings of inadequacy threatened to drown out all of the progress Malcolm was trying to make with his partner.

A breathless chuckle escaped his lips, “That’s true, I did. I still do...that never changed.” Dani looked at him as he looked at her and suddenly the moment began to stand still and shift all at once. A spell of something private and inviting suddenly enveloping them.

Dani was right there and no one was around. This wasn’t like the Taylor wedding reception where all of Manhattan milled about, able to witness him pour his heart out and the humiliation that would surely ensue if he were as wrong about this–about _her_ –as he believed himself to be.

Malcolm could be honest, he could tell Dani the truth. “Dani–” As soon as he opened his mouth, his phone buzzed.

He swore internally, his jaw clamping shut. It was a message from his mother inquiring about his whereabouts–more specifically, why he wasn’t home already.

“Everything okay?” Dani asked, with a peaked brow, undoubtedly noticing the change in him.

“Yeah, apparently I have a curfew. Only it’s thirteen years too late, give or take.” Malcolm glanced at Dani seeing both her brows now raised and he wondered if he was being irritable again. “Sorry, it’s...I gotta get to my mother’s.”

He let go of her hand, hurriedly gathering up case files. “No, you can leave those. I’m still gonna work through the profile a bit longer,” Dani said leaning forward, sighing a bit.

“You’re not going home?”

“No, with Gil still being out, it’s a little hectic around here still and I’m pretty sure I can pick up your slack,” she finished with a grin.

Malcolm returned her impish smile with one of his own, “I know you can. You’re a more than capable profiler in your own right. Pretty soon you guys won’t need me.”

“I’m not sure that’s true,” Dani said, her playfulness growing softer, fondness illuminating her dark eyes and making him believe– _hope_ –that she wasn’t talking about work. That strange longing revisiting him once again.

Malcolm squeezed her wrist gently, the way he’d done that night in the hospital before rising to leave, feeling his own smile grow. “Um...text me when you get home?”

This was trying. Showing that he cared. He didn’t like to imagine that Dani thought he didn’t, despite how little he’d done to prove that he did.

Dani looked up at him, her deep dimples appearing in a smile that showed through her eyes, “Okay.”

–––––––––––––––––––

“You know, you don’t actually have to babysit me...if you don’t want to.” Malcolm unlocked the door to his loft, feeling unsure all of a sudden.

“You asked if I wanted to eat with you and I said yes, how is that babysitting?” Dani rolled her eyes, taking the bag of Chinese takeout off his hands and bringing it to his kitchen island.

Malcolm felt bad that he’d more or less left his work for Dani to do, after pretty much being on lockdown himself now that Ainsley had been officially released to their mother’s recognizance–the same way he had been three and a half weeks ago.

He’d snuck out of the manor this morning before he was forced to officially go on administrative leave. Malcolm had argued that he could still do his job and focus on whatever would happen next with his sister but his mother was having none of it though truthfully, he wasn’t looking forward to all the free time.

_The more relaxed things are out there, the more time I have to think in here_ , he remembered what he said to Dani just before he asked her to go with him to visit his father. She understood, Malcolm didn’t know how but she did, just like she understood tonight when he told her leaving work tonight that he couldn’t spend another night at his mother’s.

He hadn’t been sleeping more than about two hours a night feeling the cloyingly heavy presence of his father and the ghost of Nicholas Endicott every time he closed his eyes.

Dani offered to take him home and Malcolm agreed, only this time offering to buy takeout, wanting this to be different than all the other times she brought him home. He wanted to spend more time with her. That wasn’t a new or unusual occurrence, Malcolm just hadn’t known how to ask.

Malcolm knew Gil made Dani look after him and he couldn’t risk putting himself out there in even the smallest ways, but he was trying to change that despite how far out of his element he felt.

It had been awhile since Dani had been to his home and that was all his fault too. He kept the person who’d always been good to him away, while letting the person who purposely intended to harm him walk right through the door.

_Why am I doing this?_ Malcolm thought as he sat down on the edge of his bed, stepping out of his shoes. Why was he asking for more, knowing he didn’t deserve it?

––––––––––––––––––

Draping her leather jacket over one of Malcolm’s island chairs, Dani noticed him sitting with his head down, deep in thought staring at the floor. She had her doubts that Malcolm was actually interested in eating, considering he didn’t actually eat but something was eating _him_. She could tell.

Dani knew his sister had turned herself in for Endicott’s murder a few days ago and while Malcolm hadn’t shut her out the way he did the last time, she knew there was something he wasn’t telling her.

“You good?” Dani padded over to Malcolm, sitting down beside him. She gently reached out, tipping his chin toward her. His pale gaze soft, sad and impossibly vulnerable–those ghostly blue eyes seeming to burn through her.

“Your hand is cold,” Malcolm replied evasively, not answering her question. Dani’s lips quirked up in a smile as she slowly removed the offending hand, her quiet laughter stilling in her throat as Malcolm covered her hand with his, stopping her and holding it to his stubbled cheek.

Any witty reply Dani might have said died on her tongue as Malcolm turned his head slightly, kissing her palm softly. The energy in the air grew charged somehow.

Malcolm didn’t know what he was doing as he found himself leaning closer and Dani leaning in, her cold hand still on his cheek as he _kissed_ her.

His kiss wasn’t as chaste as the way she’d kissed him as he gently tugged on her soft top lip, trapping it between his. He pulled back slightly, looking into Dani’s eyes–half-lidded with something that scorched his veins and made his heart sing all at once.

Unable to control the cresting waves of these feelings–feelings he’d held back for so long until his will bent and broke further than he’d even allowed himself to imagine. Malcolm kissed her again. Only this time deeper as Dani allowed him access, his tongue smoothly tracing over hers–his mind filled with all things _her_ and truly feeling weightless for the first time in a very long time.

_“Malcolm,”_ his first name bubbled out from between her lips, half sigh and half moan but all encompassing as she tipped her head back while he trailed fervent open mouthed kisses over her chin and down her throat.

Before Malcolm realized what was happening–what he was allowing himself to do–his arms encircled Dani’s small frame without breaking contact for a moment. He twisted and gently pushed her back into the mattress, her boundless dark curls spreading over his pillows.

_“Malcolm.”_ His first name again and it had never sounded as good to him as it did coming from Dani and all he wanted was to hear it over and over again. Her voice at once breathless and husky as he continued to press kisses over her skin. Her blunt fingernails pressing into his back.

Malcolm scarcely noticed what he was doing. He was so far beyond the point of thinking because all he had was _feeling_ and the knowledge that nothing on earth could be better than this.

He felt both in control and out of control, hearing his name once again, only more insistently–more urgently–as Dani shimmied out of her royal blue blouse and he slowly peeled away her jeans, unwrapping her like a gift and in _awe_ of all that she was.

His nose skimmed over the black lace edge of her bra, kissing her languidly through the thin, barely there material, before peeling that away too–desperate for the taste of her skin. Her breath hitched, growing ragged and her back arched underneath him as he felt her reach for his belt, unbuckling it and pulling him closer.

Close for both of them simply wasn’t close enough.

–––––––––––––––––

Perhaps it was reckless but nothing mattered to her more than this.

Dani wanted his skin on hers with not even the moonlight from the window in between them, but she saw trepidation fill Malcolm’s ice clear eyes as he gazed down from above her.

She wanted it–she wanted _him_ –but she knew he was holding back on her.

“I’m not afraid of you,” Dani ran her fingers along the smooth definition in his arms and shoulders, hoping to reassure him.

She could see why he accused her of having cold hands as his skin was absolutely _fevered_. Malcolm stared at her beseechingly just as he had that night nearly a month ago when she promised she wouldn’t leave him.

He _wanted_ to believe her.

Dani wondered if Malcolm had ever heard that before–that he didn’t deserve someone’s fear. She would guess he hadn’t. He probably didn’t know he could be with someone he didn’t have to hide from–someone who accepted him.

_Every inch of him._

She didn’t know what Malcolm saw in her face as he continued to stare at her with those wide eyes that have always seen too much and not enough. His hand came to rest at her heart, feeling it race for him–because of him–before cupping the side of her neck. His fingers buried in her curls as he tilted her head up to meet him.

“I’m not afraid of you either,” Malcolm’s breath washed over her lips just before he took the breath right from her lungs.

–––––––––––––––

This wasn’t supposed to happen. Malcolm did what he’d longed for but knew he shouldn’t have. He allowed his impulsivity and his _heart_ to get the better of him–only this was Dani and nothing would be like it was.

Though if he were being honest, that were true in more ways than one. He didn’t feel the way he had that first time he tried and failed to be normal. This wasn’t mere satisfaction and a desperate need for contact fulfilled after going so long without it. This was something Malcolm had long locked away. Something with the ability to tear him to pieces–tear the skin off his bones in its intensity.

Being with Dani was... _powerful._ It was vivid. It was life in technicolor after a world of gray and now reality was setting in, especially as Malcolm watched Dani sit up, holding the covers to her bare chest. Her curls in complete chaos, her cheeks flushed and her lips a bit swollen. She was so beautiful it hurt though not nearly as much as what was sure to come.

“Are you leaving?” Malcolm asked, trying to fight the crushing onslaught of loneliness that threatened to overtake him completely.

Malcolm didn’t tell Dani how he felt about her and he didn’t _know_ how she felt about him. He didn’t know if what just happened for her was only the result of months of pent up tension between the two of them. The time he spent drenched in her warmth, completely lost in her meant so much to him. The way she allowed his hands and lips to trace every part of her meant so much to him.

No, this wasn’t like the last time because this wasn’t about wanting to feel like he was someone to someone he barely knew. This was so much worse, because in those moments he felt like someone to _Dani_ –he felt like someone more.

Malcolm didn’t know if it was just business for her. He only knew how much it would crush him if it was.

“Are you kicking me out?” Dani asked with a quirked brow, wrapping the covers a little tighter around herself.

“Of course not...but are you leaving?” Malcolm asked, unsuccessfully trying to keep the hurt out of his voice at the thought of being left with only memories of the only real connection he’d ever had.

“Why would you think that?” Dani asked softly as she noticed shadows clouding Malcolm’s too handsome face. _He’s not used to people staying_ , she realized after a moment without him being able to say it–the shame of it all wouldn’t let him, though it wasn’t his fault.

Dani couldn’t explain it but something about that made her unreasonably sad. After sharing something so intimate and personal, being left alone immediately...she couldn’t imagine it and when Malcolm had admitted to her woefully overwhelmed about that time his ex had ghosted him, this must’ve been what he meant.

Dani wanted Malcolm to know he deserved better– _he_ could have better.

“I, um, kinda can’t leave,” Dani replied with raised brows, a cheeky little smile pulling at her lips. Though that actually was true, she was hoping to lighten the mood. She hated the idea that someone could have so little regard for him and she wanted him to know she wasn’t like that.

Malcolm blushed, a breathy laugh escaping his lips as he caught her meaning, feeling himself relax instantly.

Dani said that he didn’t scare her and in that moment, Malcolm felt like he _could_ surrender to her, but he also knew he wasn’t the greatest with control and he worried if he’d done too much–if he’d been too much for her.

He shielded so much of himself and always had, especially in these sort of moments but with Dani, he felt like he didn’t have to but maybe he should’ve…

He hadn’t intended to hurt her and he didn’t want to lose her trust because of it.

Malcolm shook his head as he was letting his fear run away with him once more. Looking into Dani’s dark eyes, seeing soft amusement and concern for him, it didn’t appear that he’d scared her and he needed to stop inventing reasons for her to leave if she didn’t plan to.

Moreover, he wanted to take care of her and he wanted her to know he was still gentle even if he hadn’t exactly been then. He didn’t want her opinion of him to change after seeing a side of him she hadn’t before.

“Now, where are _you_ going?” Dani asked as Malcolm scooted out of bed, slipping on his black Emporio Armani boxer briefs.

“The kitchen. I realize I kept you from dinner and I’m pretty sure I heard your stomach growling,” he said with a smirk, earning Dani’s laughter and a pillow thrown at his head.

––––––––––––––––

“You know, as much as I like your suit and tie...I think I prefer you like this,” Dani grinned, biting her lip a little as she watched him return with their previously abandoned takeout.

Malcolm was slim but he was built _really_ nicely. Her eyes lingered over the muscles in his stomach and chest remembering how good he felt pressed into her.

“Really?” Malcolm tilted his head, a sly smile curving his lips as he sat down next her. “Then I guess it's a good thing I prefer _you_ like this.”

“So...naked then?”

Malcolm blinked, realizing how that sounded despite it not actually being a lie. “I-I mean…” _What do I mean?_

Dani shook her head, giggling as she leaned forward taking the carton of fried rice mixed with orange chicken, the way she liked it. “Aren’t you gonna eat too?”

“What if I just watch you eat?” Malcolm reached for the fork before she could.

Dani narrowed her eyes at him, “That would be weird even for you, Bright.”

“I thought you liked weird,” Malcolm mimicked her narrow-eyed look, holding the fork out to her.

“Unfortunately, I do.” Dani smirked, leaning in and accepting the food from him. Acknowledging that him feeding her was entirely weird. Malcolm being so attentive to her in his strange, sweet way was also entirely weird–but she loved every second of it.

For them, weird worked.

–––––––––––––––––––––

Putting the takeout away, Malcolm realized how he’d never actually had this before.

Sitting next to Dani as she stole the fork from him, ensuring that he at least ate a little of the food he’d brought to her by feeding him too, he couldn’t imagine such a thing happening with anyone he’d been with and certainly not with his ex.

The high of those moments only lasted long enough to come crashing down to earth leaving him broken, crumpled and abandoned. Sadly enough he kept chasing that high, hoping the after effects would be different but they never were and he hurt more each time.

He knew with Dani it would be more of the same because his heart was involved and with her it always had been but as he walked back to bed finding Dani fast asleep, Malcolm realized that he knew nothing at all.

He stared for a moment watching the peaceful rise and fall of her chest, the way her full yet still slightly swollen lips parted a bit, her impossibly soft curls spread out in every direction. She looked _angelic._

Dani was the first person to actually sleep beside him. The wrist restraints scared people away and the night terrors made him dangerous but Dani knowing all that already simply fell _asleep._

Maybe he was tempting fate, getting too close to a fire that burned him every time but just for tonight he didn’t want to wonder what it was like to truly feel normal.

Malcolm slid in next to her, adjusting himself so his chin rested on her shoulder as his arm wrapped around Dani’s waist, his palm flat against her taut stomach.

He fell asleep too, feeling happier than he ever had.

––––––––––––––––

Malcolm blinked awake as the mid morning sun shone over his face from the window. He didn’t know what time it was only that it was probably close to noon.

He’d done something he never did which was sleep through the night and for far longer than he had in ages.

Malcolm had stirred early that morning, feeling the space beside him had grown cold. Before the panic and pain could set in that Dani had slipped out at some point during the night, he heard his shower running and minutes later Malcolm felt a warm weight sink into the mattress and the scent of fresh shower and his soap fill his nose, allowing him to relax into sleep once more.

“There’s something I wanna tell you but...I’m terrified,” Malcolm took a deep breath staring into Dani’s dark eyes, her gaze was sleep hazed but infinitely warm.

He _had_ to say this.

She told him to wait but there would be no better time than right now. He couldn’t allow her to leave this bed–this apartment–and then go back to the way things were. Dani was his partner but Malcolm needed more. And for the moment, he’d gotten it and he couldn’t give it up.  
He couldn’t give up the safety and security that filled his forever hollow bones and fractured heart.

Dani leaned up, scooting closer, “Okay, I’m listening.”

Malcolm gently squeezed the hand that had been resting against his chest, drawing small circles with light fingertips. “I...” Maybe he was about to screw this up and if he did, at least he could say he held her hand one last time. “I love you. I am so deeply and stupidly in love with you. That–that’s what I’ve been wanting to tell you since you almost watched me get blown up.”

“ _You_ love _me?”_ Dani asked with mock incredulity, the most beautiful smile illuminating her face and drawing her deep dimples as she rolled over practically laying on top of him, the two of them chest to chest.

Malcolm felt his own smile grow at her teasing, a smile that lifted every weight his heart had ever carried. “I love you like crazy.”

“Like crazy, huh? Good...” Dani covered his lips in laughter, kissing him slowly before resting her forehead against his, “Because I love you too.”

Malcolm smiled up at her, letting his fingers drift along the ridges of her spine, before burying his fingers in her curls, "You know...I don't ever think I'll get over the fact that I'm yours."

He couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t allow himself to imagine the possibility. He was so used to wanting the things that weren’t for him.

Dani’s eyes sparkled with a sort of playfulness he’d never seen before,“Hmm...well, I _did_ want to be yours but unfortunately for me, you had _horrible_ taste. I mean, just _the worst._ ”

“Fair...,” Malcolm tapped the tip of her nose lightly, a smile pulling at his lips. “But I was trying to have a moment and you just ruined it.”

“Oh, did I? Well, I guess I’ll be going then,” Dani smirked, making a show of pulling away from him, attempting to get out of bed before Malcolm’s arms tightened around her as he shifted and pinned her beneath him, her laughter filling the space between them.

“What if I don’t intend to let you go?” Malcolm questioned lowly, his ice clear eyes all mischief as he caged her in. His usually gelled back fringe falling in front of his face.

“You better not,” Dani hitched a leg over his hip, angling him closer to what they both wanted–each other.

“I won’t...not now. Not ever.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though she said some of the nicest things in Chapter 1, writing this fic with the amazing @morningsofgold has been so much fun! She's an amazing writer and It's been wonderful getting to collab with her. We still have a lot more of this story to go but we hope you enjoy what we have so far <3

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

They had gone to simply reinterview a suspect to get more information on their victim. Cause of death; gunshot wound. Twenty-five-year old Stacey Queenly was found in an alleyway although she wasn’t killed there because there hadn’t been enough blood loss surrounding the body. She had clearly been dumped there in a panic.

Stacey apparently came from a small town but a big family so when her family hadn’t heard from her in a few days and her social media had been dead silent, they contacted authorities in New York. She moved to New York a little less than a year ago and had been working in some sort of entertainment company called Bellcamp & Barrows.

He hadn’t fit the profile for their killer. The killer had been quick and messy, clearly a first-timer and it wasn’t planned. By all accounts, Andrew Bellcamp was an organized man with a solid alibi, witnesses, and even had allowed them to search his office without a warrant. He had given them all the work Stacey had done for the company and told them about how she was supposed to have a bright future with her big brain.

They hadn’t expected to walk into his office to find him holding a gun in his hand. The same gun that matched the bullet holes in Stacey’s body–.38 revolver. Both Dani and Malcolm had stayed calm and collected when they walked into the unexpected scene. "Mr. Bellcamp…" Dani started gently, trying not to spook him.

"I told her not to do it…" The blond man stated grimly, "I told her that she would have to sacrifice something to get where she wanted to go." He shook his head, “She wasn’t supposed to tell...”

“What is it Andrew?” Malcolm started, taking a tentative step forward, “What happened?”

“All I needed was a new idea I could give the brass upstairs. She didn’t have to go over my head.”

“She tried to take back an idea she gave you?”

“Worse...” Malcolm and Dani both heard his gun cock, “She showed me up in front of everyone.  _ Her _ . Some nobody from a nowhere hicksville town. She had the nerve to… to be  _ better  _ than me.”

“You’re mad. You had all the help in the world growing up, jumping through all these different hoops to get where you are...” Malcolm could feel himself trying to keep from rolling his eyes, “And then this woman comes out of nowhere and proves herself to be better than the best around here.” Malcolm took a deep breath to hide his disdain of Andrew’s entitlement, “You didn’t think it was fair, did you?”

“The things I’ve had to do. Do you know how many asses I’ve had to kiss just to get where I am? How much money my  _ poor  _ father had to donate everywhere to get where I am.” He shook his head as Dani quietly started to sneak around to take down the deranged businessman. “And then  _ Stacey  _ comes out of nowhere.” He waved the gun once carelessly, “Oneups me in front of the bosses and has the  _ nerve  _ to reject me afterwards.”

Malcolm narrowed his eyes, “So you asked her out but she said no?”

“The goddamn nerve! She never would have gotten that chance at showing her ideas if I didn’t let her into that meeting. She  _ owed  _ me!”

Dani gently motioned for Malcolm to try to get closer as she tried to sneak around their killer to disarm him. Malcolm slowly took one step closer, “She broke your trust?”

“SHE BROKE MY HEART!” Andrew screamed as his voice echoed off the walls of his large office. His arms aimlessly flailing about as a gunshot went off, hitting a framed poster, the glass shattering onto the floor. “Sh-she did that… that was  _ her  _ fault.”

“Andrew… Stacey’s dead…  _ this _ couldn’t have been her doing” Malcolm gently reminded the man, “Blaming someone else won’t ease your guilt.”

“GUILT!?” Andrew screamed before breaking down into deranged laughter. The man tried to steady himself as he shakily pointed his gun directly at Malcolm, “If you think this has to do with  _ guilt _ , you’re as crazy as Stacey was.”

Malcolm kept eye contact from Andrew to keep him from noticing Dani slowly inching her way closer and closer to disarm him, “What is it you’re feeling now Andrew?”

“I don’t want to go to jail because some little country bitch thought that she could make it in this business without paying her dues. We all have to make sacrifices for where we want to go, no one is that lucky.”

“And you thought that her going out with you was one of the things she should have to do.”

Andrew nodded his head as if Malcolm was finally getting it, “It just would have been for a few weeks of fun. She’d get what she wanted, I’d be satisfied. It was a win-win situation.”

“Only then you found out she didn’t need you.”

“OF COURSE SHE NEEDED ME!” Gunshots went off and both Malcolm and Dani fell to the floor on instinct. 

Only  _ Malcolm  _ quickly recovered and started to get back up when he noticed that Dani wasn't getting back up.

Malcolm scrambled to his feet, not caring about Andrew as Dani rolled onto her back with a groan. A dark red stain getting bigger on her white cowl neck blouse. Her dark curls fanned around her head. 

Malcolm fell to his knees and grabbed Dani’s walkie-talkie, “I need an ambulance now, officer down!”

Andrew ran out of the office although Malcolm hardly noticed. He knew the killer wouldn’t get far because he knew Dani had called for backup, she wasn’t like him.

_ Dani… _

The profiler took his suit jacket off, balled it up and placed it on the wound to staunch the bleeding, trying incredibly hard to maintain some semblance of calm realizing there was actually more than one wound and she was already losing so much blood. 

Malcolm’s complete attention on Dani as he gently brushed her hair out of her face, careful not to disturb the bullet wounds, his fingers lingering over her already too cool skin. “Bright...” Dani’s eyes fluttered open to be met by Malcolm’s concern and _ fear. _

Malcolm gently shushed her, “I’m here Dani...the medics will be here any minute.” 

He wasn’t sure if he was reassuring her or himself. This hadn’t been what either of them expected when they woke up that morning. This was supposed to be a routine questioning.

Dani’s eyelids felt heavy. All she wanted to do was close her eyes and rest but something in her knew she had to stay awake. Not just for herself but for the man who gently cradled her in his arms. Simply  _ breathing  _ was becoming more difficult for her.

“Please don’t leave me Dani....” Malcolm felt his breath hitch painfully in his chest, “Please…I love you so much.”

“Like crazy?” She croaked out, giving him a tiny smile.

Malcolm nodded, a desperate and jerky motion, “Like crazy… Dani, please stay with me.”

“I-” Dani felt the pain grow more intense as her energy drained. She let herself rest, unable to fight the heaviness dragging her down and pulling her under any longer. Her head against Malcolm’s chest and relaxing into him, the words were heavy on her tongue but no less true, “I love you too...”

Dani's eyes fluttered shut as her body went limp in his arms. 

Malcolm couldn’t stop the tears as they rolled down his face, “N-no, please…please  _ Dani _ .” 

He leaned down, his head resting on hers, “Please don’t leave me…we’re supposed to be in this together. You  _ promised _ ,” He choked out, openly sobbing while he held her unconscious body in his arms as he gently kissed the top of her head, tears falling from his face onto hers.

“Please don’t leave me alone...”

––––––––––––––––

It was torture.

The minutes felt like hours and the hours felt like years. Malcolm kept tapping his foot anxiously as his hands tightly gripped the styrofoam cup filled with now cold, tasteless hospital coffee. Gil sat next to him with a steady hand on Malcolm’s back, squeezing his shoulder blades in that fatherly way he always did.

“She’s going to be okay, kid...” Gil said, trying to reassure himself as well. “This is Dani we’re talking about, remember? One of the toughest people we know...”

Malcolm cracked a tiny smile, “I want to believe you...”

Gil patted his surrogate son’s cheek, “Believe it. Hope is a powerful thing.” The lieutenant stood up from his chair, “I’m going to get more coffee, need a refill?”

Malcolm shook his head with a tiny smile, “No thanks, I’m good.”

The older man nodded, “Let me know if I can get you something, kid.”

“I will...”

Just moments after Gil left the waiting area, Malcolm saw the doctor come out causing him to shoot up out of his seat.

His ice blue eyes wide with fear and anticipating the worst when he walked over to him, “Doctor? How is she? Is she okay? Any updates on her condition?”

The doctor gave a kind smile, “Detective Powell was very lucky, the gunshot wounds she sustained did no harm to the fetus despite the large volume of blood she lost.”

“I’m sorry?” Malcolm voiced weakly, “The…the fetus?”

The doctor nodded, “According to her bloodwork, she’s exactly three weeks along.” Just then a nurse came up and motioned for the doctor. “If you’ll please excuse me. I can assure you that Detective Powell will be just fine. She’ll most likely be asleep for a good while.”

With that, the doctor left Malcolm standing in his spot. The profiler blinked for a few moments in a motionless stupor until the news finally set in. 

Dani…was _ pregnant. _

––––––––––––––––

Gil forced him to leave the hospital and come back later as Dani wouldn’t likely be awake anytime soon due to the multiple transfusions and her body under more strain than usual. The cause of that strain he couldn’t allow himself to think about.

Malcolm didn’t want to go home. But he did have to tend to Sunshine. He couldn’t neglect her.

He couldn’t just relax knowing that Dani could wake up at any time. The doctor said she would almost definitely be asleep for a while. He just didn’t know how long _ a while _ could possibly be.

He had taken a shower and changed out of his ruined suit–something he couldn’t have gotten rid of quickly enough–and into a charcoal grey cable knit sweater and dark jeans. 

He didn’t even bother restyling his hair, just tucking it behind his ear when the damp strands fell in his eyes but he lost track of how long he had been scrubbing his hands. He scrubbed until they were red and raw, trying to erase the memory-the feeling-of Dani’s blood–her life– on his hands.

Sunshine flew from the kitchen counter to his shoulder, whistling a cheerful tune that was a serious contrast to the darkness and decor of his apartment–his cold and lonely apartment. He couldn’t stay within its walls, going insane thinking how he should be there at the hospital and how he should be with Dani; waiting for her to wake up. 

Gil told him that he’d be there for her if she woke up and he trusted his boss but Dani could still wake up alone… alone and…he didn’t dare finish the thought.

He had never thought about…he wasn’t...

And least of all…with  _ Dani.  _ Not that he didn’t want to in the abstract but this was real and they were still in the  _ very  _ beginning of their relationship. It may have been the best nearly two months of his life but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t still  _ two months _ .

Sunshine brought him out of his thoughts by flying onto his wrist. Malcolm gave his parakeet a small smile, “I’ll be okay Sunshine...” Malcolm slowly walked over to her cage, placing her inside, “Glad you got to spread your wings a little bit.” He placed some more bird food and refilled her water in her cage before grabbing his jacket and walking out the door; locking it behind him.

The profiler walked through the streets of his neighbourhood. Malcolm lived in Noho, though a more nondescript part of it than his sister did in Soho as the one way on Lafayette Street connected her neighborhood to his.

He didn't really pay much attention to buildings in general. Save for the Starbucks and the pharmacy nearby, Malcolm never really noticed any of the other stores in the area. Granted, he usually took his walks at night when he couldn’t sleep but none of them ever really caught his eye as he was so often in his head. Except this time. His eye happened to fall on a relatively small store in between a vintage clothing store and a tea room. One would almost miss it if they weren’t looking for it. A baby boutique.

Malcolm looked up at the boutique’s sign “ _ Only the Finest _ ;  _ since 2000. _ ”

He stepped into the boutique, noting its whimsical bohemian chic aesthetic. Two days ago, he wouldn’t have even given a store like this a second glance. Yet a little voice inside his mind now whispered how this would be the type of store Dani would like.

It was all so…different. He never really thought about what a baby store would look like. For some reason he had always pictured them being a little like Ikea. But this very much was a boutique, everything in light neutral colours, the packaging for everything boasted 100% recyclable material and there were even tiny baby jackets and booties in something called vegan leather… the material felt and looked more like plastic but Malcolm figured that maybe it was just something else he didn’t understand.

For the briefest moment, he wondered what it would be like to take Dani here. To see her smile with delight as she picked out blankets and clothing. To his tough and usually stoic partner cooing over baby socks and little mittens. He’d be willing to buy out the whole store if it made her happy.

He mindlessly walked around when his eye fell to a white beige piece of fabric. He tentatively picked it up and realized that it was a onesie in sustainably sourced organic cotton, and there was a word written in a tan typewriter font.

“Peanut.”

Malcolm smiled to himself, noting the irony that the child this would be for was smaller than a peanut at the moment. He couldn’t bring himself to put it back down. He wasn’t quite ready to picture a child, any child, wearing this but something deep within told him that he needed to buy it

He took a deep breath as he took the onesie to the counter where a pregnant woman was sitting behind the counter. “Uh, hello...” He smiled nervously.

“Hi there!” The pregnant woman with long black hair and blunt bangs smiled as she stood up to ring him up. She was clearly a few months along and he couldn’t help but wonder if that’s what Dani would look like in a few months… but he quickly pushed those thoughts aside as the woman scanned the onesie. “Did you find what you were looking for?”

“This is uh… a gift for someone...”

“Oh!” The young woman looked surprised.

Malcolm furrowed his brows in nervous confusion, “Is it not a good gift?”

“Oh no, that’s not it.” She shook her head, “It’s a wonderful gift to get someone. It’s just... ” She let out a little laugh, “Forgive me, I thought  _ you  _ were the expectant father.”

“R-really?” Malcolm murmured, not even willing to consider himself in that role as it felt too unimaginable.

“Yeah, I think being pregnant again is just giving me mixed signals and I get the wrong vibes.” She gave him a kind smile, “Would you like me to giftwrap it for you? We do have this very cute biodegradable wrapping paper.”

Malcolm smiled as he shook his head as he fished the black American Express card out of his pocket, “No, thank you. Just a bag would be fine.”

Once she was done ringing him up, she gave him the shopping bag, “I hope whoever you give this to likes it,”

Malcolm nodded as he responded softly, “Thank you… I hope she does too.” The woman waved as she bid him goodbye.

Malcolm didn’t feel like he needed to take a walk anymore. He needed to be with Dani. No matter what Gil told him. He  _ had  _ to be with Dani in case she woke up. He just couldn’t let her wake up alone, especially when he knew that she hated hospitals more than he did.

He just needed to make a stop at his apartment once more. Maybe he’d give this to Dani, maybe it would never see the light of day again but for a moment, he’d like to imagine  _ what if _ ?

––––––––––––––––

“I thought I told you to go home Bright.” Gil said, scolding him the way he did all day, every day, “You can’t lose your head about this. Dani’s safe now.”

Malcolm looked at the lieutenant with big pleading eyes, “Please Gil, I wasn’t going to be able to sleep anyways.” Gil only raised his eyebrow as Malcolm tried to reason with him; “Look, I went home, I showered, I shaved, I even let Sunshine fly around the apartment for a little bit before I went for a walk.” He took a deep breath, “I’m better off staying here, waiting for Dani to wake up.”

Gil sighed before giving one of his fatherly smiles, chuckling a bit , “So…you and Dani?”

Malcolm’s eyes widened, “How did you...”

Gil chuckled as he looked down at his empty styrofoam cup, “I’ve known both of you for a long time...” The lieutenant tilted his head, “Plus you two haven’t exactly been subtle. I suspected there was more to the story the day after your arrest. You two were... _ emotional _ .”

Malcolm shook his head and let out the tiniest of laughs, “And here I thought we were being careful.”

“Well, it certainly didn’t help that you kept bringing her Starbucks tea yet brought none for the rest of us. Your smitten was showing,” Gil grinned, trying to coax a smile out of the young man who’d already experienced more loss than anyone his age should. When Malcolm’s face didn’t change from the lost, haunted look he’d been wearing since he left, Gil tried a different tactic, “So it’s pretty new, huh?”

Malcolm gave a humourless chuckle before blurting out, “Yeah, and now she’s pregnant.”

There was a moment of silence. A pause as Gil tried to process what he  _ thought  _ he heard.

Gil blinked a few times before going wide-eyed and his brows going sky high. “I’m sorry,  _ what did you say _ ?” Malcolm just looked at him,  _ knowing  _ Gil was about to yell at him. The lieutenant only shook his head in disbelief before saying, “Oh, I think I’m going to need more coffee for this one.”

Out of all the things Gil Arroyo expected from Malcolm Bright–and he’d long learned to expect the unexpected–this had definitely  _ not  _ been one of them.

––––––––––––––––

Gil just shook his head still in disbelief but he could feel the exasperation coming on as he looked to the young man sitting next to him, “Bright, I thought we had this conversation when you were fifteen.”

“Gil...” Malcolm groaned, “Not the birds and the bees  _ again _ .”

Gil gave him a sharp look, “Well,  _ clearly  _ you weren’t listening.” He shook his head as that was all he could do at the moment. Gil hoped that he’d see the day when his surrogate son recognized the sort of potential he had with Dani, but Gil  _ thought _ that would mean Malcolm showing her off and taking her out on some fancy rich boy date;  _ not _ getting her pregnant, “Thanks to you, I’m probably gonna have a full head of white hair before I’m sixty, you know that right?”

“We didn’t– I didn’t–” Malcolm bowed his head, studying his hands in his lap and feeling like a chastised teenager who had snuck over to his girlfriend’s place or more accurately, snuck his girlfriend over to  _ his  _ place as he mumbled, “I should’ve thought about protection....”

The older man's heavily mustached mouth turned down, giving his prototypical disapproving father look,“You have a degree in biology! You of all people should know how this works!”

“Gil, please...” Malcolm couldn’t help but facepalm, his defeated voice muffled through his hand. “It just happened…”

“That’s  _ exactly  _ what a teenager would say!” Gil countered with a sigh as he shook his head for what was probably the hundredth time since this conversation started. Of all the Brightian accidents,  _ this  _ one took the cake, “ _ Please _ tell me you went into this with good intentions.”

Malcolm furrowed his brows as he looked back to his surrogate father, “What? Gil, what do you mean?”

Gil sighed, “I know how broken up you were over E-”

“Wait, wait.” Malcolm quickly shook his head, “I was but… it’s always been Dani.” It was Gil’s turn to furrow his brow in confusion, awaiting Malcolm’s explanation, “Whatever I might’ve felt for...” Malcolm cleared his throat, trying to articulate something so complicated in a way that wouldn’t make him sound as ridiculous as he felt.“I mean, I wanted to tell Dani how I feel for the longest time and I’ve been in love with her for...God...even longer probably.”

Malcolm looked down at his hands and thought back to the first time he tried to confess his feelings that time in the morgue. He knew he had to stop running from his feelings and he’d been ready to but he’d gone about it all wrong and as a result, Dani hadn’t understood that he  _ had  _ been confessing. 

He promised her he would do better and ended up going back on his promise because she hadn’t believed he  _ could _ do better–or at least, he’d  _ thought _ so.

Malcolm sighed, “I tried to tell her how I felt after...my father was stabbed. But I also made the mistake of trying to pair it with an apology for upsetting her and what I  _ did _ say didn’t come out right.”

Gil’s tone softened as at least now he knew Malcolm’s  _ intentions _ were good even if it was obvious that his methods hadn’t been, “Bright...”

“I thought I had blown my chance with Dani...” Malcolm took another deep breath, “So who was I to be particular if the only woman who would have me just wanted to use me?” He fidgeted with his fingers, “At least, technically, I was still... _ wanted _ .”

Gil placed a hand on the back of Malcolm’s neck and gave his shoulders a fatherly squeeze like he always did, “You know that’s not the same, right?”

“I know that now...”

“You’re a good kid.” The lieutenant's voice was firm yet loving, “You’ve got a lot to offer and if someone saw that but only wanted what you could do for them then they didn’t deserve your time anyway.”

“Yeah...I don’t know about that...” Malcolm mumbled, still staring down at his hands.

“You would if you had just come and talked to me...” Gil chided him as after all this time, Malcolm  _ should _ know better than to hide things.

“I’m sorry...” Malcolm’s lips quirked upwards slightly into something that resembled a smile. “I haven’t been so great at communicating.” He finally turned to look at Gil, “And I knew what you would’ve said…that I was wrong for trying to run–for being a coward and…I just didn’t want to hear it because deep down, I knew you’d be right.”

“Kid, I didn’t meet you yesterday. I know that what you don’t wanna hear most often is what you  _ need  _ to hear.”

“I wish I had accepted that sooner.”

“Better late than never.” Gil smiled encouragingly, “So I guess my next question is...what are you planning on doing?”

“I don’t know...” Malcolm let out a tiny sigh of his own, raking his hand through his hair.“I  _ can’t _ know until I know what  _ Dani  _ wants.” Deep down, Malcolm might have been able to say what  _ he _ wanted, but he didn’t dare say anything until Dani had a chance to speak her mind–after all, this was  _ her  _ choice not his.

Malcolm didn’t notice how Gil’s expression changed. How Gil was seeing him with brand new eyes–as a  _ man _ for the first time and not that brave little boy who saved his life. Gil should have known that  _ Dani _ would be the one able to make that miracle happen and he supposed that was the sort of thing he’d hoped for when he started making Dani take Malcolm home all those months ago.

Malcolm took a deep breath, running his hands over his face, “Whatever she wants to do, I’m gonna have her back because she’s always had mine, even when I didn’t deserve it.”

Gil had seen many of Malcolm’s self-absorbed outbursts over the years. He could say for certain that this wasn’t one of them. He was going about this the way a good man should. Gil was proud of him. 

“Please let me stay Gil,” Malcolm pleaded with his big blue eyes somehow looking even larger and Gil didn’t know what was worse, the spooked puppy look or the sad puppy look and this happened to be both, “I’d rather be here in case she wakes up.  _ When  _ she wakes up.”

Gil sighed, now knowing why Malcolm felt he  _ had  _ to be there, “Alright but if she doesn’t wake up before visiting hours are over, I better not get a call saying that a certain someone is refusing to leave the hospital. I  _ will _ come and arrest you for trespassing.”

Malcolm couldn’t help but let out a little laugh, “Alright, I promise I won’t cause any trouble.”

––––––––––––––––

Once Gil left, Malcolm had only been in the waiting room for about an hour when the doctor came in, “Malcolm Bright?”

“Yes?” Malcolm immediately stood up, worrying something was wrong, “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine.” The doctor simply smiled at him, “Detective Powell is awake and she’s asking for you.” 

Malcolm couldn’t help the smile forming on his face, “Thank you.” 

He quickly dismissed himself and sped past the doctor to find Dani’s room.

As Malcolm got closer, he hesitated. The minute he stepped foot in that room, their most pressing conversation could take one of two ways and Malcolm wasn’t sure if he was ready for either. He  _ definitely _ wasn’t ready for his world to come crashing down around him. Things between them had been better than he ever could’ve imagined and the moment he crossed the threshold, nothing would be as it was and he wasn’t sure if he could handle that.

He shook his head, whatever they talked about–whatever  _ Dani  _ decided–he’d rather face the reality of it now than prolong it. If only to prevent causing himself more pain. He knew from experience that pain was  _ always  _ worse the longer it lingered.

As soon as he walked in, he was struck by just how small Dani looked in her hospital bed. Dressed in her hospital gown, an IV hooked up to her arm, light purple rims under her eyes, and the fact that she looked far paler than usual–a gray cast to her normal golden complexion; he had never been so happy to see her.

Dani gave a tired smile and shakily held her arm out when she saw him enter the hospital room. At least it didn’t  _ seem _ like she was about to break his heart. In fact, his heart had never felt so full. He was just thankful to see her  _ alive _ .

Malcolm rushed over to take her hand in his. He never thought he'd be so happy–so relieved–to feel the pulse of her wrist. He’d been tortured for hours upon hours with visions of Dani bleeding out in his arms; wondering if that would have been the last image he’d ever have of her.

He leaned over the railing of the bed and gently wrapped his arms around her as best he could as he felt her do the same. 

Malcolm only slightly pulled away to look into her eyes to find the same loving smile she had always given him. It was only for a moment before he leaned down and gently pressed his lips against hers, feeling his heart flutter when she kissed him back and hearing  _ her  _ heart race on the EKG monitor.

Dani’s hand still sat on his shoulder when he pulled away. His own hand found its way to hers as he drew feather-like circles with his thumb on the palm of her hand, “How do you feel?”

Dani just looked at him amusedly with her nose and smile scrunched together, “Like I just had surgery.”

Malcolm smiled as he sat at the foot of her bed, still holding her hand, “Right. Of course.”

The room was silent. Their hands clung to each other as if letting go would mean losing the other. As much as they wanted to stay in this moment of feeling like everything would be okay, something had to be addressed. Something they couldn’t ignore.

Malcolm gave  _ her _ another loving smile–another relieved smile, “I’m so happy you’re okay.”  _ I’m so happy you’re alive.  _ He hesitated for a moment before quietly clearing his throat, “Did the doctor tell you…  _ everything _ ?”

Dani averted his eyes for a quick second, “Yeah… apparently I was  _ really  _ lucky… or  _ we  _ were… I guess...” The detective narrowed her eyes at the profiler with an aura of suspicion, “Did he… tell  _ you _ …  _ everything _ ?”

Malcolm’s lips quirked up into the tiniest of smiles. He met her eyes with the same openness and vulnerability that he showed her the night he called her from his mother’s house. 

He nodded, “Yeah…you were lucky…the  _ both  _ of you were.” Dani looked up at him, his voice so quiet she almost didn’t hear. His smile was so small, she wasn’t sure if she was just imagining it. The shape of Malcolm’s mouth unconsciously grew the slightest bit to the point where it was without doubt–a smile. Those  _ real _ smiles as rare as they were always wide–wide enough to make him seem younger and lighter than he actually was.

His eyes still connected with hers as he tried to keep his wavering voice in check, “We’re..I mean....” His eyes darted to Dani’s stomach so fast she almost missed it, “You’re...” Dani’s hand unconsciously went to her stomach in response, the action giving Malcolm the courage to say that one word that kept haunting him; “Pregnant.”

“Yeah… I am...” Dani’s voice quietly responded as she felt her eyes sting with tears.

Another shift of silence came over them. Malcolm could feel his eyes welling up the slightest bit as he looked to the woman who held his fragile heart in her hand; the  _ person  _ he loved more than anything on Earth. 

They both smiled at each other as if to say  _ how did we get here _ as the tears threatened to fall from their eyes. Malcolm scooted a little closer, desperately grasping her hand in his, “What are we gonna do, Dani?”

“I-I...” She had to admit the truth, “I don’t know Bright...” For the first time in a long time, Dani Powell had no idea what was going to happen with her life. She was always prepared. She made plans and acted with logic and rationality but _that_ _night_ in Malcolm’s apartment she hadn’t and now she was _here_.

Her life was now a million times different than when she had woken up this morning. Dani’s free hand swiped at her cheeks as tears started to fall. She’d never felt so lost and she didn’t even try to stop herself when a sob escaped her throat.

She hadn’t expected to get shot but that was an occupational hazard. She hadn’t expected to need surgery. She hadn’t expected waking up from said surgery only for the doctor to tell her that the bullets barely missed her baby. 

_ Her baby.  _

A baby she didn’t even know existed. A baby she hadn’t even known she had created and the  _ father _ of that baby was the man sitting on her hospital bed holding her hand as she continued to sob brokenly. Her boyfriend of less than two months.

Whenever Dani was upset, Malcolm’s first instinct was to comfort her–to make it right. Without thinking, he brushed her hair out of her face, just wanting to do  _ something  _ to stop those tears from rolling down her beautiful face. However this time, he couldn’t help but feel responsible for being the reason she was so upset. This time he felt like he had to ask to hold her. 

“Dani, can I-” He didn’t even have to finish his question as she nodded, accepting his comfort. He got as close as he could before wrapping his arms around her, feeling her hug him tight. As scary as this was for her, it was scary for him too and as much as it pained him, he had to let her know this choice was entirely hers because he loved her too much to see her miserable–to burden her further.

Malcolm only pulled back a little to gently cup her face in his hands, “If this isn’t what you want...” He almost couldn’t finish his sentence, his voice cracking with emotion.

Luckily, he didn’t have to as Dani furrowed her brows, her tears beginning to subside, “What?”

He sighed, the pain unfortunately evident in his crystal eyes–pain he wished he could hide, “I can see you’re upset and I don’t ever want that for you...”

“I-I thought...” Dani sniffled as she felt Malcolm wipe away her remaining tears with his thumb. She cleared her throat, “I thought  _ you _ would be upset about this.” She pulled his hand away from her face and held it in both of hers, “I mean, we haven’t been together for very long…I–I told you how I felt only two months ago and now…  _ this _ ...” She felt her eyes starting to sting again.

“Hey… hey… please don’t be upset. I know I’m not...” Malcolm cradled her face in his hands, looking at his whole world as he sighed, “You’re right, we haven’t been together long but…please tell me now…do  _ you  _ want  _ this _ ?”

She couldn’t meet his gaze for a moment, collecting herself before admitting to the very thing that would change her life forever. 

“I do...” She nodded as she returned her eyes to meet his, “I’m  _ so  _ scared....but I want this,” Dani’s voice shook as she felt like she was leaving herself so open and vulnerable. So vulnerable to getting hurt–to being left alone to do all of this on her own.

She also couldn’t help but notice the shakiness in Malcolm’s voice when he replied with; “Do you want this… with  _ me _ ?”

Wanting the baby was very different from wanting  _ him _ . It was one thing to agree to date him but it was quite another to allow him to be responsible for a life, especially when he wasn’t very responsible with his own.

He wasn’t dad material–this was obvious. Dani knowing every single thing she knew about him–things he’d confessed for her benefit only–things about who he was and where he came from and how that made fatherhood virtually impossible and on the very first night they met–knew this too.

Without hesitation, Dani nodded, “I do...”

Malcolm was her  _ partner _ and though they were still very much figuring each other out in this incredibly new space they’ve found themselves in, she couldn’t do this any other way than  _ with him. _

Dani genuinely didn’t expect Malcolm to smile like he’d just been given everything he could ever ask for, something that looked entirely like hope shining through his pale eyes as he leaned in, their face mere inches apart, “I want that too… you told me that night, whatever happens, we’ll get through it together and we will.” He kissed her gently yet so deeply, parting ways just as she started to kiss him back, “I love you.”

Dani gave a breathless laugh as she shakily asked, “Like crazy?”

Malcolm gently brushed away the last tear on her face, “Crazier than you could  _ possibly  _ imagine.” He meant it as there were no limits to the love he had for this woman who’d always given him a reason to hope–only he didn’t know that  _ this  _ was what hope truly was.

Dani’s lips curved into her big dimpled smile as she placed a hand around his neck, just soaking in the moment, “I love you too.”

––––––––––––––––

Gil went home after finishing up some paperwork. He didn’t try calling Jessica knowing she had a  _ lot  _ on her plate at the moment. His home was quiet these days. Just him and his cat, Jeter, a chubby grey British shorthair.

It had been a long day. Jeter met Gil at the door when he walked in, meowing for food. The lieutenant filled his cat’s bowl with some simple IAMS cat food. Jeter nuzzled Gil’s leg gratefully before starting to chow down on his supper.

Gil gave his cat a fond smile as he walked over to his kitchen cupboard and grabbed a crystal glass. They were always Jackie’s favourite glasses. He remembered how she would just stare at the way sunlight would shine through them, creating a rainbow on their countertop. How they would spend Sunday mornings sipping on orange juice with the big breakfast Jackie loved to make at least once a week.

Tonight was different.

Gil grabbed a bottle of scotch and poured some for himself, filling the crystal glass halfway before taking the drink and sitting down on his armchair next to the window. He stared out the window, looking over the city nightlights as he took a deep breath and took a sip, “Hey Jackie… I know it’s been a while...” He took another small sip, “I just thought you should know that even though it took me longer than you asked me to… I think I found someone to move on with. She’s wonderful and even though we both know she’s never been great with emotions,” Gil let out a tiny chuckle, “I can’t imagine my life without her. Not anymore.”

Almost four years ago to the day, Gil lost the love of his life. His beautiful wife, Jackie. He remembered sitting by her hospital bed for days on end near the end of it. He remembered Malcolm flying in for an unplanned visit, knowing that the kid was coming in because he needed to see the woman he considered a second mother one more time. To thank her for everything she did for him.

Gil remembered what she said to him just days before she closed her eyes for the last time, “ _ Gil, honey, I want you to listen to me very carefully. _ ” Her sparkling brown eyes still filled with the same warmth that made him fall for her in the first place, “ _ I want you to love again. Don’t stop living for me because we both know this wasn’t a choice either of us had. You can miss me but I won’t have you missing out on the good in life. Promise? _ ”

Gil smiled at the bittersweet memory, feeling a sting in his eyes, “And as much as I know you would be happy for me, I just wish I had a sign or something that you knew that I’m doing okay.”

Jeter let out a tiny meow as Gil patted his lap, letting the three year old cat jump up and rest on the chair with him. He found his fuzzy companion at an animal shelter just a few months after Jackie’s funeral. Gil was grateful for his little friend because it didn’t feel as lonely in his home anymore.

“You know, the craziest thing happened.” Gil laughed a bit, “Malcolm and Dani finally met. It’s funny, almost immediately after meeting her, Malcolm was reminded of you. It’s barely been a year now and…they’re going to be parents.” Gil took another sip of scotch as he stroked Jeter’s fur, “At least, I think they are. They’ve probably talked about it by now and I have a good feeling about this.” He raised his glass in the air for a moment, “You were right, you thought they’d be a good match and they really are good for each other. You were  _ always _ right...”

Jeter stretched on Gil’s lap as he softly purred.

“I miss you every day.” Gil raised the crystal glass once more before downing the remainder of his drink. He placed the empty glass on a side table while his cat happily rested on his lap, taking a moment of silence to think of all that was and all that will be.

–––––––––––––––––

Dani had fallen asleep a while ago. Malcolm kept close, sitting next to her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He had done that a lot in the past few hours feeling like if he lost contact for a moment he’d lose her. He hoped he was giving her comfort too but truthfully, those kisses were for him. Just knowing that Dani was still breathing was enough for Malcolm to feel at peace.

Well…almost at peace.

His eye caught movement outside Dani’s room. Her doctor entered the room with a silent smile. Dani stirred for a moment before returning to her deep sleep. 

“Good morning Mr Bright.” The doctor said in a hushed tone. Malcolm nodded as the doctor continued, checking Dani’s charts and vitals, updating her status. “I’m just monitoring her progress and checking if there’s any additional treatment Dani might need but everything here appears to be right as rain.”

“Thank you Doctor.” Malcolm needed to know something that had been bothering him since they made their decision–this _ life alterin _ g decision, “Doctor?” the older gentleman turned his attention to the profiler, “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask. A-about Dani's condition, that is.”

“Of course, go on.”

“Will she be able to carry this baby to term… without her injury causing more harm to her or the child?” Malcolm knew how much Dani went through to stay alive but he couldn’t help but wonder if the bullets had hit her at a different angle or even… he couldn’t bear the thought. However he also had to wonder if the wounds would cause unnecessary discomfort.

“You want to know if there’s a risk for miscarriage.” Malcolm nodded nervously. The older gentleman gave him a small smile, “Well, I can tell you for sure that it’s good that Dani herself is stable. To be quite honest, it’s too early to tell if any harm has come to the child and this isn’t my expertise.”

“Oh...” Malcolm nodded, “I see. Thank you, anyway.”

“However, we have already set her up with an appointment with the Obstetrics department here. I don’t mean to brag but we do have some of the best OB/GYNs in the city.”

Malcolm couldn’t help but smile a little, “Really?”

“Oh yes. Speaking as a father of four, one of the reasons I took the job here was because of how well they treated my wife as a patient.”

“That’s… actually a little reassuring.” Malcolm conceded before furrowing his brows worriedly, “So you think Dani and the baby will be alright?”

“As I mentioned before, I can’t give you a definite answer and miscarriages are unpredictable and it’s unclear if she’d be considered high risk. The sooner she’s able to be checked out by an OB/GYN, the better. You’ll be able to have much more information then.” He gestured lightly to Dani, “As it stands, she’s recovering well and as far as the child, only time will tell as she is very early in the first trimester.”

Malcolm nodded, “Thank you Doctor.”

He nodded, “You’re very welcome Mr. Bright.” As he turned to leave, he looked back at Malcolm once more, “And congratulations. I know these aren’t the circumstances you’d expect such news but I’m guessing Dani is stronger than most. I have a feeling your family will be fine.”

Malcolm gave a genuine smile this time, “Thank you, that  _ is  _ reassuring.”

“Enjoy your day Mr Bright.” The Doctor nodded before closing the door softly behind him.

As Dani’s doctor left the room, Malcolm returned to his spot next to her. He gently wrapped his arm around her shoulders once more, letting her head relax against his chest. 

Some of his nerves had subsided since that morning but he wasn’t sure if the two of them–or the  _ three _ of them were completely out of the woods yet. 

One thing was for certain, no matter how long they had been together, they were a family now. Nothing and no one would get in the way of that.


	3. Chapter 3

After leaving Malcolm at the hospital last night, Gil hoped his surrogate son had found at least some time to get some sleep but he could certainly understand why he wouldn’t. This was quite a situation even by _Malcolm_ standards and Gil wondered just what Malcolm and Dani were going to do about it. He had an idea but he’d still like to know for sure.

Gil could admit that this would be a tough one for any couple–even tougher for a young couple literally just starting out. 

“Hey, where’s the fire?” Gil asked with a chuckle, practically running into Malcolm just outside Dani’s hospital room. Judging by Malcolm’s relatively haggard appearance and the fact that he wore the same gray sweater and jeans from last night, he hadn’t left the hospital. 

Malcolm heaved a long-suffering sigh as he frowned at his phone, “It’s Mother.” 

Gil nodded, not needing any further explanation. He knew Jessica was keeping close tabs on her son these days and while Gil did try to gently remind her that her son was a grown man and was likely to do as he pleased whether she liked it or not, it hadn’t made much of a difference. Somehow Jessica didn’t see that if Malcolm could disarm an ankle monitor, he could sneak out of a back door.

“Dani’s been resting off and on and I didn’t want my mother screaming at me to disturb her.” 

“How’s she doing?” Gil asked with concern.

“She’s doing better...she’s going to have to stay here for another day or two for observation and to make sure she doesn’t have any adverse reactions to the transfusions. So far so good though…” Malcolm took a deep breath and Gil could still see flashes of that spooked puppy look. 

“Good, I’m glad to hear it,” Gil knew his next question was a sensitive one to say the least but it required asking all the same. “Have you two talked at all? About what your plans are?”

“We did and Dani wants to keep the baby. We–we’re gonna do this together,” Malcolm said slowly as if speaking in an unfamiliar tongue.

Gil had known the young man for a long time and though the fear and hesitation was clear as Malcolm’s silver toned eyes showed everything his face tried to hide, to Gil’s surprise he could see that Malcolm also looked genuinely _happy_ about this. 

It was more than just being responsible for the child he helped create because that would be easy. Malcolm had means. Malcolm had far more than he could do with in several lifetimes but this was _commitment._ Gil could tell that Malcolm wanted to do this the right way and when Malcolm put his mind to something, not once did he falter and with a partner like Dani, Gil knew he’d be good at it. They both would be.

Gil remembered how Malcolm told him that he needed his job–how he needed to solve murders. Worse, Gil believed that to be true and now maybe this was Malcolm seeing that there was more out there for him.

It wasn’t healthy that Malcolm attached himself to what he could do, it was much better attaching himself to who he could be–a partner, hopefully someday a husband but most definitely a _father._

“Well, congratulations, kid,” Gil smiled, pulling Malcolm into a hug, squeezing his shoulder blades the way he’d always done since the profiler was eight. “I owe you a drink.” As happy as Malcolm looked, it appeared that he could certainly use one.

“Thanks, Gil,” Malcolm smiled back, a real one that reached his eyes in a way Gil hadn’t seen in a long time.

––––––––––––––––––––

“How you doing?” Gil asked Dani quietly as he followed Malcolm into her hospital room–a luxury suite she’d been moved to after leaving the emergency room at Malcolm’s request. It was something the profiler actually could do without batting an eye as this very hospital was built by some Milton forefather of his long ago.

Gil was slightly taken aback at the volume of white roses dotting the space, though he probably shouldn't have been as the gesture also had Malcolm written all over it. Gil was pleased as it showed that Malcolm _could_ be generous when he wanted to be. The kid had a good heart but that head of his, often kept him from following it.

Stepping around the roses, Gil saw the young detective buried under a yellow hospital-issued blanket looking rather pale and tired. “I hear congratulations are in order for you too, Mom.”

Dani huffed a whispery variation of her normal laughter as she leaned up to hug her boss, a man who’d always treated her like a daughter and looked after her when no one else did.

“Thanks...I still can’t believe it.” Her eyes shifted to Malcolm who sat at the foot of her bed, a ghost of a smile pulling at the corner of his lips, the stuffed lion he’d gotten her in his lap. “Um, Gil, can you not tell anyone about this? I mean, the team doesn’t know about us and I’m just not ready…” _for the comments and the scrutiny,_ Dani finished silently. She wasn’t ready to share this part of herself with the world yet. 

“And that goes for my mother too,” Malcolm added as his mother didn’t know about him and Dani. He wasn’t ready to share this part of himself either. His mother wanted his happiness on her terms and there was no way he could explain how happy he truly was in a way she’d understand. To her, none of this would make sense. To her, _he_ had never made sense. Malcolm didn’t have the energy to defend himself, his choices or his life and he didn’t know if he ever would again. 

It was amazing how the axis of his world could shift in only 24 hours.

Things were already difficult for them at home with Ainsley’s situation and Dani was the only good thing he had. He wouldn’t let his mother ruin this for him.

“Alright, your secret’s safe with me so long as I get to be the first to hold the little guy,” Gil grinned as he knew those terms were more than fair as the team meant well but they could be a bit much and after all Jessica had going on these days, it was only best that she be eased into this new development. 

Gil knew that Jessica loved her son but the problem was that she didn’t _know_ her son as well as she _thought_ she did and that too would require being eased into.

Besides, Malcolm and Dani deserved time on their own and to themselves to figure out how they wanted to do this without interference.

Gil grinned at the twin looks of confusion on both Malcolm and Dani’s faces, “Trust me, I know these things. There is without a doubt another Malcolm Bright in there.” Gil watched Malcolm smile a bit, ducking his head as he gently squeezed Dani’s ankle over the blanket and while Dani’s hand went to her flat stomach, a soft smile breaking over her face, momentarily lifting the exhaustion. The two of them wearing a look of hope both separate and the same.

 _Yeah, they’ll be good at this_ , Gil thought to himself.

–––––––––––––––––––––

Dani heard the deranged businessman hurriedly fleeing the scene. She should have been chasing after him but she was on her back and her body was going cold, pain so intense she couldn’t feel it. She made her arms move though they felt too weighted down to do anything. Hands over her stomach, trying to stop the pain somehow, she felt a warm stickiness–blood.

She was bleeding... _from her stomach._

No...she couldn’t be. Dani tried to sit up but with every movement, more blood rushed through her fingers, saturating the front of her white top. A sob began to build in the back of her throat, she needed help but there was no one. 

No one to help her and her... _baby._

A phone buzzed, sounding far away and Dani startled awake. Sitting up in bed, she frantically patted her stomach. No blood, no wounds, no nothing. She tried to calm her ragged breathing and the tears that ran down her face. _It was just a dream. It was just a bad dream,_ she tried to convince herself. 

She was at home in her apartment, she’d been discharged yesterday. She’d taken a bullet to the hip and one had grazed her thigh, not her stomach. Her baby was okay. She still had an appointment with the OB/GYN in a few days to be sure but she’d been stable enough to go home.

Reaching over for her buzzing phone, she answered it without checking the screen. Dani knew who it was already. “Are you awake?” Malcolm asked a little hesitantly.

Her partner being a chronic insomniac sometimes called her late at night, knowing she was a bit of a night owl too. Dani didn’t mind as she knew how lonely it was to seemingly be the only one awake in the city that never sleeps. It was a new thing of theirs that started after _that night._

Malcolm would only let the phone ring twice. If Dani didn’t pick up on the second ring, he knew she was asleep. 

“Yeah...I am…” Dani said, her voice sounding strangled, trying not to think of what she’d seen and the phantom pain in her stomach that wasn’t real but felt so much like it.

“Can I come over?” She could hear his concern over the line. It was the same voice she’d heard the three days he’d spent by her side since the accident. Since they found out something that changed their lives forever.

“Please…” Dani’s voice was so quiet, Malcolm almost didn’t hear her but it didn’t matter as he was already shrugging into his overcoat and grabbing his keys.

–––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm felt a little strange just entering Dani’s apartment like this but he’d knocked first and there was no answer. She’d only been discharged yesterday and he wondered if he should’ve stayed with her. Gil saw to it that he’d gotten Dani home safely and she’d still largely been out of it when Malcolm helped her into bed, promising that he was only a phone call away if she needed him. 

Since the accident, Malcolm had barely left Dani’s side, but his mother was becoming more insistent and angry at his conspicuous absence and his lack of answers regarding his whereabouts. As much as he didn’t _want_ to, he knew it was time to go home–or back to the manor–if only to get his mother out of his hair and off his back. 

Besides, he didn’t want to crowd Dani. They were together and they were by all accounts family now, but Malcolm still didn’t know how much of him was too much. 

He couldn’t say he had a ton of relationship experience and what he did have most recently had been comprised of broken pieces he’d tried in vain to make whole. He’d been crushed with the gutting realization that he’d been both too much and not enough. 

Though that situation couldn’t begin to compare to this one, those thoughts were still there and as much as Malcolm never wanted to leave Dani’s side, he didn’t know if that’s what _she_ would want. He didn’t want to be clingy and he wanted to give her space as in their nearly two months together they had been taking things relatively slow. 

However, with their new development, slow didn’t exactly mean the same thing it did before.

That said, Malcolm knew something was wrong and maybe if he’d been there, he could’ve made things better somehow or at least, he thought so as he made his way around her darkened apartment. 

Hearing sniffling coming from the closed bathroom door, Malcolm called softly, “Dani? Can I come in?”

“Yeah…” she whimpered, the sound muffled with tears. Opening the door slowly, he found his partner sitting on the edge of the bathtub with her hands over her stomach. 

His body turned to ice, wondering if something really was wrong with her–if this is what he’d feared when he’d asked the doctor about the long-term implications of so much bodily trauma done to her at the hands of Andrew Bellcamp and his gun.

“ _Angel…_ ” the endearment would’ve embarrassed him if he didn’t mean it as much as he did. Dani had always been something of a guardian angel to him. The only one who looked out for him, the one who kept him from going too close to the edge–the one who pulled him back when he did. “What’s going on?”

Malcolm knelt in front of her, gently placing his hands on her forearms. “I’m sorry you came all the way out here…” Dani looked up, clearly shaken. Misery and fear clouding her dark eyes.

“I’d go anywhere for you,” Malcolm answered honestly, squeezing her arms gently. The anxiety grew as he needed to know what was wrong without pushing her.

“I had a bad dream,” Dani mumbled, feeling silly for having him come out to Riverdale at 3am for virtually no reason and before she could chastise herself further, she felt Malcolm’s arms wrap around her. She inhaled the scent of Malcolm’s spicy, earthy cologne, letting herself be comforted by him. 

She _could_ count on him and as much as she doubted him in the not-so-distant past, Malcolm had been showing why she didn’t have to anymore.

Malcolm traced small circles over her back, pressing his face into her soft, sweet smelling curls. No one understood bad dreams more than he did and he more than wanted to be there for her. He remembered how not so long ago his fear kept him from doing so. 

There had been nothing that led him to believe that Dani could need him as much as he needed her. Her comfort, her validation, her understanding–all were things that had become indispensable to him. 

Malcolm couldn’t reconcile with the idea of needing someone so new in his life–someone who didn’t know him but knew him better than anyone and he tried to rationalize it away. He tried to convince himself that he just needed a friend, but it had been more than that and he ran from it–from her. 

He didn't want to run anymore. He was ready to give into all of the things only she had brought out of him and that started with being the man Dani always thought he was.

“You wanna talk about it?” Malcolm asked after a while of just holding her, forever marveling at how incredible Dani felt in his arms and how much it did for him, just knowing he could be there for her–knowing she wanted him to be.

Dani nodded, untangling herself from him before they moved to the living room in the company of the white roses he’d gotten for her. White roses symbolized hope and not only that but new beginnings and shared secrets. 

Gil had told him in the hospital waiting room that hope was a powerful thing. 

Malcolm hadn’t believed that to be true until the doctor told him that tucked away inside of the woman he loved more than life itself, was a hope more powerful than anything he could’ve imagined. It was a secret shared between the two of them that felt too precious to share with the world yet it was undoubtedly a new beginning he never thought he’d have–not with Dani.

Malcolm didn’t have beginnings–only the most painful of endings and the unending spiral of being left in the same lonely, dark place he’d always been. 

“The dream...it was like that day in Bellcamp’s office when he shot me but instead of my hip and thigh, it was my stomach. There was no one else around and I was bleeding so much...I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t save the…” Dani trailed off as he draped a soft dark purple blanket over her shoulders, once they’d settled on her couch. She closed her eyes before opening them slowly, steadying herself. “I know it’s not real but it felt like it was…”

Malcolm laced his fingers with hers, hoping to show her that she wasn’t alone. 

“Aren’t you gonna tell me that’s my subconscious anxiety about motherhood or whatever Freud says about dreams?” Dani sniffled looking down at their joined hands.

“No, I’m going to say that you’ve been through a lot over these past few days–physically, mentally and emotionally. Truthfully, I can scarcely make sense of my own bad dreams...I wouldn’t try to do that to yours,” Malcolm smiled gently, his pale eyes illuminated with a sort of tenderness Dani never imagined he’d show to her–not like this.

“I don’t know like I can barely believe this is happening. I can’t even see it but all I can think of is how devastated I’d be...like a piece of me died too,” Dani admitted slowly. She was still getting used to all of this but the idea of having someone of her very own after years of only looking after herself–she wanted that and to have it taken away would’ve been torture. She’d recover because she always did but she’d never be the same.

Malcolm swallowed thickly, “I–I know what you mean.” 

When Dani lost consciousness in his arms as she bled out around him, no matter how many times he’d come close to dying; nothing had felt anything like that. He’d felt a piece of himself die in real time. Then to find out how close that gunshot came to their _child_...to lose both of them in that way, Malcolm couldn’t imagine anything more cruel.

Dani looked up, seeing Malcolm go far away–seeing those eyes that were nearly colorless and always arresting. Eyes that truly were the window to his soul looking so very haunted. “When the doctor told me...I didn’t know what to think or even what to say, but just the thought of something happening...it would’ve killed me too,” Malcolm finished quietly. 

Dani leaned in, letting her head rest against Malcolm’s chest as his arms encircled her. They’d been so far apart, chasms that stretched wide and far but here they were.

As the heaviest of confessions lingered in the air, she closed her eyes. Malcolm’s hands came to rest at her stomach, chasing away all memories of something that could’ve happened but thankfully didn’t. A painful ending traded for a beautiful beginning.

––––––––––––––––

Malcolm was only half listening as Ainsley’s three lawyers discussed potential plea deals with their mother as the six of them sat in what was now the war room also known as their mother’s living room and incidentally enough, the scene of the crime.

He felt terrible that his sister was even in this situation especially as she didn’t deserve it. The two of them had to shoulder so much and they hadn’t been protected the way they should’ve been. Nicholas Endicott should’ve never been granted access into their lives–that should’ve never been a choice Ainsley felt like she had to make. 

Malcolm looked over at his sister, seeing her sitting to the left of their mother completely emotionless. Their mother would never let Ainsley accept a plea deal–he knew this. She was hoping to get the case dismissed but that was entirely unlikely. 

Malcolm sighed internally as he glanced at the Patek Philippe on the inside of his wrist. He straightened up in his chair automatically as his heart clenched painfully in his chest and his hand began to tremble.

Dani had her first appointment with the Obstetrician at 11:00 am and it was currently noon. She’d been taken to the Lenox Hill Hospital after the accident as it was mere minutes away from Bellcamp’s office and luckily they had one of the best Obstetric/Gynecology departments in the city as he’d been told.

Truthfully, he’d been on edge since he spoke to the doctor Dani’s second night in the hospital. The doctor was cautious though encouraging but Dani had lost so much blood–sometimes he _still_ imagined it on his hands and under his nails. It was hard enough recovering for herself, could she realistically sustain a child too?

 _Oh God_ …What if some of the blood that had dried on his pale hands had belonged to his child too? The blood he or she needed from Dani to grow, to develop, to survive? 

What if this hope was doomed from the _start?_

An hour passed already and Malcolm wondered if she was still at the doctor. If she was, was that a good sign or a bad one? He didn’t know what to think and his hand continued to tremble as his mind concocted all sorts of horrible, gut wrenching outcomes.

Jessica turned to her son suddenly, she’d asked his thoughts on what sort of case the prosecution might bring against her daughter as finally Malcolm’s experience in law enforcement would prove useful, but he didn’t appear to have noticed or heard her speaking to him. He stared straight ahead at the wall, clearly lost to them all.

Malcolm had been acting strange lately, much stranger than was his normal. Three days last week, he went completely missing in action. He’d ignored her calls and when he did speak to her, his words were vague and often monosyllabic. 

Even before then, she had the idea that if Malcolm wasn't sneaking out of the house before breakfast, he was leaving after dinner. She knew it was quite a bit to ask for her freewheeling son to stay still for more than five minutes at a time, considering he was used to coming and going as he pleased but for this, she’d hope he’d be willing to make the sacrifice for his _family._

Their reputation wasn’t sterling to begin with and now, Ainsley’s predicament was yet another way they were being dragged through the mud and the very last thing Jessica needed was her son galavanting around the city fancying himself to be Sherlock Holmes. 

Jessica had forced him to take a leave of absence from that dreadful job of his and while she didn’t expect him to completely follow through on that request, something about his behavior was decidedly odd. It wasn’t his normal preoccupation as she watched his stress induced hand tremor rear its conspicuous head. 

Before Jessica could pull Malcolm out of the clouds and back to their reality as no one had the luxury of daydreaming right now, she saw Malcolm spring out of his chair as he hurriedly answered his buzzing phone, rushing up the stairs. He murmured to someone in low tones she couldn’t make out.

He was up to something and Jessica _would_ find out what.

––––––––––––––––––

“How did everything go?’ Malcolm asked, closing the door to his childhood bedroom behind him. His voice sounded horribly anxious but honestly couldn’t help it.

“Um...good, I think, considering how early it is. I mean, I’m still recovering from everything but the transfusions worked, my blood count is normal again….but” Dani trailed off before her voice went quiet. “I dunno...it feels like we kept each other alive.”

Malcolm let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding before feeling tears prickle this throat and ears, “I think that’s about right...you’re the strongest person I know.”

Dani heard his voice break over the line and she wished Malcolm were beside her, holding her as she lay in bed alone, back in her pajamas as she wouldn’t be cleared to work for another seven days. It was an overly mushy and sentimental thought that she’d normally chastise herself for as by nature, she wasn’t either of those things but in this situation, she supposed it was allowed. 

She could blame it on hormones but she could also blame it on just missing him.

“Did you, um, get a chance to see...I mean, did you have an ultrasound at all?” Malcolm asked softly.

Dani smiled, warmed at the memory of seeing that there really was someone of her very own in there, “Yeah...it’s just this tiny thing...smaller than a grain of rice I think but they gave me a picture to take home.”

“I wish I could’ve been there...” Malcolm said after a while just letting it sink in that there was tangible evidence that this was real. That at some point, he’d see something _he_ helped create though certainly not with any intention but no less out of love.

Guilt began to settle like stones in the pit of his stomach. He should’ve been there. He should’ve been there holding her hand. He should’ve been able to see for himself but he was here, hiding in the bedroom he hadn’t occupied since he was ten.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t…” Malcolm said quietly, shame thickening his voice as he was always apologizing to her. He could never do right by her, no matter how much he wanted to.

“It’s not your fault,” Dani’s voice was loving and in the depths of his mind, he could recall her telling him this once before. The memory was cloudy and all he could do was focus on now and the slight note of disappointment that colored her words. It stung because he wanted her to be proud of him–proud of choosing him–but he made that hard too. “You were helping your sister and your mom, you planned to. This wasn’t…”

“I’d rather be with you,” Malcolm mumbled, feeling like he was failing her– _them_ –all because he couldn’t stand up to his mother, because he couldn’t admit that his priorities now were drastically different, because he couldn’t be brave.

“I know that,” Dani murmured, not unlike the way she did when he stood at the board, handcuffed and presumed guilty of murdering the man who murdered his ex, looking directly at her when he confessed that he wasn’t his father. 

He’d been addressing all of them but speaking to _her_. It hurt when Dani thought he was capable of killing someone–when she believed he did. Truthfully, he couldn’t even be upset because his father was exactly who he’d been acting like then and knowing that hurt more than anything. She believed he was better than that just like she believed him now.

“I’ll let you get back to your family, I’m sure they’re looking for you,” Dani said after he let the silence stretch on, stuck in his head. Malcolm wanted to say _she_ was his family now but he didn’t. He didn’t deserve to say it. “I love you.”

“Like crazy?” Malcolm ventured, suddenly feeling needy after letting his many regrets swirl around in his mind unchecked.

“Like crazy,” Dani confirmed, the smile in her voice rescuing him in that way only she had ever done.

Malcolm couldn't help the first smile to show up on his face all day, "I love you too."

––––––––––––

Dani stretched, awakened by the sound of soft music seemingly coming from the living room and even more surprisingly food cooking. 

She smiled as that could only be her partner who seemed to have snuck into her apartment while she’d been napping. 

When she’d spoken to Malcolm earlier after her doctor’s appointment, he’d been at his mom’s meeting with his sister’s lawyers. He hadn’t told her much about how everything was going and she hadn’t asked as it was clear he wasn’t ready to talk about it. As always she’d be there when he was but Dani just hoped Malcolm didn’t feel any pressure to come and see about her when it was clear that his time wasn’t his own at the moment.

Greeted by the sweetly soulful sound of India.Arie’s cover of _Georgia on My Mind_ , she spotted Malcolm in her kitchen, his head down in concentration as he cut what looked like mushrooms.

“You’ve got music playing and you’re cooking, clearly you’re trying to seduce me,” Dani grinned, wrapping an arm around his waist in greeting. She noticed in his black cashmere sweater, black jeans, slightly damp chestnut hair falling in his eyes that Malcolm looked the same as he did the night she arrested him. It was mind boggling how different things were for them now compared to then.

“Not this time.” Malcolm smiled wide enough for his dimples to appear and his eyes to crinkle in that way she loved and wanted to see far more often than she did. “When I seduce you, Detective Powell, you’ll know it.”

Dani’s cheeks heated as his words and voice took on a tenor that made her heart flutter in her stomach and Malcolm’s smile widened against her lips as he kissed her–lingering longer than he had to–as he knew it.

“Noted,” Dani said, her voice embarrassingly breathy. She blinked, clearing her throat, “So what do I owe this surprise dinner?”

“Nothing really. You’ve given me so much–more than I ever anticipated actually and I just wanted to do something nice for you,” Malcolm returned to the mushrooms on the chopping board. That wasn’t entirely true. He’d felt endlessly guilty that he couldn’t be there for her this morning and he wanted to show her that he could be there for her in other ways. He could make sure she was eating properly and show that he cared–that he really _could_ be her partner.

Dani took a seat at the island, wholly impressed as it was clear that Malcolm knew what he was doing as he placed the shedded mushrooms in a bowl and what he currently had on the stove smelled amazing. 

Watching him add things like Adobo, sazon and sofrito to the bowl and noticing the rice on the stove as well, she realized he was making vaca frita–or at least a plant based version of it.

“Okay, I have questions.”

“And they’re all for me,” the corners of Malcolm’s lips quirked up in a grin as he could easily follow her next line of questioning while he wiped his hands on a dish towel before slicing sweet plantains. 

“Who taught you to make Cuban food?” Among all of the things she knew about her partner, the fact that he could cook was surprising as she knew he barely had the ingredients in his kitchen to make cereal but cooking like this–there most definitely was a story behind it.

“Jackie did...this is her recipe or a version of it.” Malcolm remembered flying back to New York a few weeks after Jackie’s funeral to help Gil pack up some of her things and the day he left for Virginia, Gil surprised him with Jackie’s recipe book. He spent so much time in the kitchen with Jackie as a child just before his mother shipped him off to boarding school like an unwanted Amazon package.

Jackie had been the one to get him to start speaking again when she asked him if he’d like to help her make vaca frita. Immediately, he'd asked what it was and it’d surprised him as he hadn’t spoken to anyone in the then four months since his father had been arrested but Jackie smiled, a maternal warmth in her dark eyes that his own mother never had and told him to wash his hands and he’d find out.

Malcolm remembered other nights at Gil’s when she and Gil were only dating at the time and Jackie let him ramble on about his pet snakes, asking him questions about them as though they were real people while he helped her make chapea or pastelón de arroz–other dishes he hadn’t heard of before. 

His mother had thought his pets were disgusting and even if she remembered to acknowledge his presence at the time, his mother would’ve never bothered to talk about them just because. _Jackie’s really great Gil, I think you should get married_ , he’d said on a stakeout once when he was nine and they did. Gil and Jackie felt so much like his parents back then–the ones Malcolm _wished_ he had.

Malcolm refused Jackie’s recipe book when Gil gave it to him but his surrogate father smiled rather sadly and told him that Jackie would want him to have it, “She’d want you to keep yourself fed.” Malcolm held onto the book, keeping it safe in a locked box in his upstairs office. He had no intention of cooking for himself or anyone else until now.

Malcolm wanted to show Dani this part of himself and cooking for her felt _intimate_ somehow. It was something he’d never done for anyone else. He’d snuck out of the manor, went home to snap a picture of the recipe and headed to Whole Foods wanting to do something for his partner that actually constituted as better–not the shamefully half-assed attempts he’d made prior.

Dani smiled, growing soft at the thought of Jackie Arroyo teaching eight year old Malcolm how to cook, “I had a few dinners with Gil and Jackie...they were the best.” She’d started working with Gil not too long after her overdose and instead of leaving her to her own devices where he’d been afraid she’d relapse especially after those really hard cases–the ones involving young girls that always hit her the hardest–Gil began inviting her to dinner at his home with his wife.

Jackie, whose giving spirit was unlike anyone she'd ever known welcomed her to their table with open arms despite how much Dani felt like a stray at the time. Jackie being Dominican and herself being Haitian, Dani was reminded of those Caribbean meals at her grandmother’s and just having that sense of family–of community–made her feel so much less alone in the world, especially at a time when she was at her loneliest. Somehow Dani thought Jackie knew that and always sent her home with enough food to last for days and Jackie even sent Gil with a plate for her the next morning if she wasn’t able to make it to dinner.

“They were.” Malcolm smiled wistfully as he sliced tomatoes. “That was the only time I actually ate something. I didn’t eat at my house.”

“Well, I can actually see why as it was probably hard to go back to unseasoned food,” Dani smirked trying for levity as the melancholia began to hang in the air.

Malcolm laughed, his dimples showing once more, “That is true and though that adage is also unfortunately true, Jackie made sure I would be the exception.” 

Dani could believe it as the smells in her apartment continued to make her stomach growl.  
–––––––––––––––––––

Nearly wrapping up with dinner preparations, Malcolm glanced at his phone, feeling it buzz. He pressed ignore, irritation coursing through him as it was his mother– _again._

She was demanding to know where he was and what he was doing and he had no intention of telling her either of those things.

“Everything okay?” Dani asked, taking a sip of the Strawberry Lemon prebiotic Apple Cider Vinegar infused soda he’d brought to her. 

Usually he’d bring wine from his collection with a dinner like this but since that option was no longer open to her, he’d found this when he’d been shopping as this particular drink was nearly sugarless and supported immune function and gut health–something that was important as he’d read that pregnant women often had heartburn. He didn’t know if Dani had that yet but he didn’t want her to be in any discomfort if she did.

“It’s just my mother, checking up on me for the hundredth time,” Malcolm said, trying unsuccessfully to keep the annoyance out of his voice. After finding out that he’d been caught in gunfire that day in Bellcamp’s office, his mother demanded he take a leave of absence from his job and that he stayed at the manor so she could keep an eye on both of her wayward and disappointing children. “I’m supposed to be at the manor and in for the night.”

Dani tilted her head, “You know you can always say no, right?”

Malcolm sighed as he fixed her plate, “I don’t think I’ve ever told my mother no...I mean, that’s why I was in ballet for five years.”

“And yet you’re the most rebellious person I’ve ever known. Bright, I’ve seen you break about a half dozen laws all before dinner time,” Dani remarked with raised brows over the rim of her glass.

“That’s different,” Malcolm chuckled a bit, “The things I do, I do them because I know that I’m right in the end. With my mother…” He didn’t have that same confidence was what he couldn’t say out loud. “My mother never responded well to me saying no...she punished me for it. When I was younger that meant taking away my books or my favorite stuffed animal and when I got older it was different but still kinda the same...she took more than she gave...and saying no to her…”

“It was like she’d take away love too,” Dani finished for him, her heart breaking as it sounded like Malcolm had been conditioned to agree with his mom, probably against his own self-interest just for her to show him the sort of affection a mother should show a son regardless of what he did.

Maybe it was her own maternal instincts kicking in but that didn’t sit well with her and Dani supposed that was why he didn’t see the genuine love and respect she’d shown him–why he didn’t want to accept it. 

“Yeah…” Malcolm said softly, occupying himself by refilling her half full glass not wanting to meet her eyes. He’d internalized that what _he_ wanted didn’t matter and that he needed to be told it was okay before wanting anything at all. He didn’t know it was okay to want Dani. She was too beautiful, too formidable, too out of his comfort zone. 

He was so used to trying to make himself acceptable and worthy of someone’s time and love, he didn’t know what to do when he didn’t have to.

“That’s not okay,” Dani said quietly, grabbing his hand and lacing her fingers with his after he slid the overfilled plate of Oyster Mushroom vaca frita with white rice, grilled sweet plantains and marinated sliced tomatoes in front of her. Malcolm did look up at her this time, seeing nothing but undeserved compassion in her dark eyes.

No one had ever told him that before. Not even Gabrielle found it worth mentioning that perhaps his issues stemmed from a lack of love. She’d told him it was a lack of sex which had actually done nothing but exacerbate his problems and he still had night terrors, regrettably _after_ having sex that time. Though Malcolm supposed that was what he got from going to a children’s therapist and admittedly not a very good one for adult trauma and even more adult problems.

Watching Dani walk over to him, Malcolm felt the strangest sense of...relief as it had taken exactly one conversation to get to the heart of something he’d been keeping inside for as long as he could remember. “This is still something I’m trying to wrap my head around but if I can spare our child from experiencing a second of what I did growing up, I will.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, Bright.” Dani smiled that beautiful one that reached her eyes and blinded him with possibilities he never thought would be for him.

“I know that,” Malcolm kissed her forehead, resting his palms against her stomach. 

––––––––––––––––––––

A sigh of pleasure escaped her lips after eating as much as she could handle of what was the best meal she’d had in a long time and even better that she’d actually gotten Malcolm to eat some of the food he’d made, “So...what do I have to do to get another dinner out of you?” Dani asked, sipping her drink and tucking her pajama clad legs underneath her as they both resettled on the couch after clearing the kitchen and loading the dishwasher.

“I don’t know, but I think I’m up for negotiations,” Malcolm smirked, reaching out and burying his hand in her curls–an affectionate yet intimate gesture he’d never done before.

Dani scrunched her nose because of course he was,“But seriously, how is it possible you’re actually good at everything?” 

Malcolm glanced down blushing a bit, “I’m objectively terrible at a lot of things–most of which you already know.”

Dani rolled her eyes, “Just take the compliment, Bright.”

“Oh, wait, actually I have something for you.” Malcolm got up suddenly before returning with a little brown shopping bag with pale blue tissue paper sticking out of it. The bag had been on the other island chair and she hadn’t noticed.

“You know you don’t have to buy me things,” Dani said as Malcolm settled back beside her looking strangely anxious as he handed her the bag compared to how relaxed he’d been all evening. She didn’t recognize the name of the boutique and it was sweet of him but she hoped he knew that this wasn’t what they were about. He didn’t have to give gifts to impress her.

“Just open it...please,” Malcolm replied softly, his eyes wide and earnest in a way she didn’t quite understand.

Dani did as he asked, reaching into the bag and unwrapping the tissue paper, finding a tiny cream colored _onesie._

He’d given her a gift for their child. _Theirs._

Dani opened it up, finding the word “peanut” stamped across the front. She swallowed thickly as she felt the tears clogging her throat and quickly rushing from her eyes. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t speak as she held the impossibly soft garment in her hands, picturing the most perfect little one wearing it.

Malcolm watched Dani hold the onesie to her chest, she tried to smile but the expression kept breaking apart as tears streamed down her face. 

He’d been nearly paralyzed with fear that she wouldn’t want the gift. He feared he was making assumptions and the tiny flicker of hope–a place previously uncharted–that he felt standing in that boutique in the midst of what had been the worst day of his life was felt by him alone. 

But watching Dani hold his little gift as though it was the most precious thing she’d ever received, Malcolm realized that he’d been wrong once more.

“When did you get this?” Dani whispered as he gently wiped tears away from her beautiful face.

“Gil sent me home, he didn’t know we were together but he knew I was going insane waiting for you to wake up. Sometimes when my head is too loud, I go for a walk and something led me to that store and I don’t know...I hoped you’d like it,” Malcolm finished quietly, realizing that he’d been rambling.

Dani stared at him in awe realizing that he must’ve bought this almost immediately after the doctor told him she was pregnant. _He wanted this_ , Dani thought to herself in amazement and when the doctor first told her–all she could think of was that he wouldn’t.

She didn’t think he’d want to be held responsible and accountable and be _needed_ –not just by her but by someone else who would depend on him. It seemed like more than she could fathom him giving but she’d been wrong–she’d doubted him.

“I do...I love it,” she said softly, remembering that she had something to give him as well.

–––––––––––––––––––

Taking the ultrasound photo she’d tucked inside of her mirror in the bedroom, Dani held it out to him. Malcolm hadn’t been able to be there in person but she wanted him to have this. 

Malcolm’s brows drew together in confusion for a moment before realization colored his pale eyes and they thickened with tears as their fingers brushed together as he took the photo from her. 

Suddenly he knew exactly how Dani felt moments ago as he couldn’t speak either. The words wouldn’t form as he stared at the photo, _knowing_ that this was real. This barely perceptible form, easily the size of his thumbnail out of scale was housed inside of the woman who’d given _him_ a home.

“I can’t believe it…” Malcolm murmured, meeting Dani’s still teary eyes as the two of them broke into watery, breathless laughter. 

“Neither can I,” Dani said as she scooted closer, their knees touching. “But I’m _happy.”_

Malcolm smiled, feeling a warmth explode in his chest where only coldness had ever existed, “Me too.” 

He meant it as this was what happiness was to him. He’d never imagined it this way but it was real as anything he’d ever felt. He also realized that any flashes of happiness he’d felt when he’d been lying to himself was a mirage akin to an oasis in the desert and nothing more. 

He’d never been happy when he thought of that dark time he’d spent pursuing a woman who didn’t love him and never would. The lies had only distracted him from being sad–there was a distinct difference and as Dani had rightly told him–that _mattered._

“Um...do you wanna stay with me?” The words escaped him before he could stop them and Malcolm didn’t know if he wanted to. Though they hadn’t even made it to the three month mark, he wanted Dani with him always. Not just for his own comfort as the noise in his head was so much quieter when she was around but he worried about her and he wanted to be around her. He didn’t want her to feel like she had to do all of this alone.

The quieter voice in his head that sounded an awful lot like Gil, told him that as much as this was real, he wanted it to feel real too. He wanted a family.

Dani tilted her head, a funny look crossing her face. “We’re kinda already settled in. You can stay here tonight.”

Malcolm shook his head, it was clear she’d misunderstood. She’d misunderstood his intentions before and he’d been too afraid to clarify, he wasn’t afraid anymore, “No, I mean, you staying with me... _permanently._ ”

“Are you...” Dani’s dark eyes widened in obvious surprise, “You’re asking me to move in?”

“Yeah...I am…” Malcolm said, feeling his confidence drain as Dani still looked shocked, continuing to stare at him. 

Before he could apologize for suggesting something so forward, especially without thinking, Dani wrapped her arms around his neck, nearly knocking him back. Malcolm buried his nose in her curls and inhaled the honey almond scent as his arms tightened around her. His hands found their way underneath her soft black pajama top, running up and down her back. He smiled as he felt a shiver run through her, the result of his hands against the relative coolness of her skin. 

“Okay,” Dani whispered as her hand wrapped around the back of his neck. All she’d ever wanted was for Malcolm to tell her what he wanted from her when that had always been largely in doubt. She hated trying to guess what he was thinking but he’d surprised her again, especially as she’d been prepared to navigate this new reality as separate but aligned entities.

She didn’t want to _just_ co-parent but she’d never push him into something he didn’t want nor was ready for and she couldn’t imagine that he wanted them to be a family just as much as she did. 

Dani had gone it alone for so long–since her mom moved back to Philadelphia after she was old enough to take care of herself. She was used to looking after herself without help from anyone else and had certainly been prepared to do what she’d always done but there had been this tiny part of herself that wondered what it would be like if she didn’t have to.

She’d allowed herself to hope that she wouldn’t have to go it alone–that this time would be different when it never had been before.

“Okay? You want to?” Malcolm asked a little hesitantly to be sure he’d heard her correctly.

Dani leaned back, giving him full knowledge that he fell in just a little deeper every time she looked at him, “I want to.”

She sealed it with a kiss. The sort of kiss that made him weak and out of control but not for a moment did he care. He was in it and so was she.

––––––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm’s phone continued to buzz from Dani’s nightstand. She’d convinced him to stay though he hadn’t exactly wanted to. 

He didn’t have his restraints and she wouldn’t be safe from him if he had an episode. As much as he wanted to be around her, he couldn’t help but allow himself to imagine how much jeopardy he was putting her safety in– _their child’s safety_ –if he fell asleep.

Malcolm wanted to tell her this but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to remind her of his deficiencies. He let himself be convinced only because Dani told him that she _really_ didn’t want to be alone in that voice of hers–the one that was husky with those rounded vowels and sounded like her normal voice, only sexier. He also wondered if Dani knew what that did to him and if he was being finessed–not that he minded at all.

Malcolm wondered out of habit if it was Gil and he needed them. Belatedly, he realized that he was on Administrative leave and Gil wouldn’t call him unless it was absolutely necessary and he’d be calling Dani too. There was only one other person who’d call him repeatedly after 11:00.

“Bright…” Dani whined half asleep as he had to reach over from where he’d been spooned behind her, jostling her a bit.

“Sorry, Angel.” He kissed her cheek softly before scooting out of bed, realizing that he had to deal with the inevitable but was now ready to do so.

––––––––––––––––––-

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve been sneaking out of the house at all hours.” His mother’s irate voice rang out from the other line. “Malcolm Harrison Whitly, where on God’s green earth are you?”

“Mother,” Malcolm sighed while he paced Dani’s living room, feeling even stranger that he did this in his underwear. “I’m not coming back to the house.”

“ _Malcolm–_ ” his mother’s tone sharpened, gearing up for a fight. 

“I’ll be over in the morning to get the rest of my stuff but I’m going home. I’m not going to be sequestered and on curfew just because you’ve said so. I’ll still be there for Ains in any way that I can but I have my own life, my own concerns. I can’t do this with you anymore.” 

Malcolm waited for that impending sense of doom that flooded him each time he’d tried to rebuff his mother but it never came. _That’s not okay_ , Dani’s voice whispered in his mind, giving him the type of clarity he’d never had.

“ _Malcolm–_ ” his mother said through her teeth, the letters of his name enumerated on a hiss. This wasn’t over, it was far from it but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His priorities didn’t exist beyond the walls of this apartment anymore.

“Goodbye Mother,” he clicked off, ending the call and switching to do not disturb, making his way back to Dani’s bedroom. 

Malcolm wouldn't sleep but he’d rest as he scooted in beside a softly snoring Dani. He rested his palm against her stomach, underneath her pajama top. He knew that inside was the only good thing he’d ever done and he’d stop at nothing to protect it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has supported this story and I hope you all love this chapter as much as @Florexandra and I do.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for patiently waiting for this new chapter, we hope you love it as much as @morningssofgold and I do!

Jessica Whitly never liked being ignored. She believed she was a fair woman. She believed she was entitled to know what was happening in her son’s life. Anyone who had a child like Malcolm Whitly would agree with her. She had dedicated her life to trying to turn him into a socially acceptable gentleman and curb his norm-shattering impulses of which there were many. He hadn’t been helping her cause lately. He’d been sneaking out of their family home and away from her rightfully watchful eye. Even worse, Malcolm told her just last night that he had _his own concerns._

Not on her watch.

For all Malcolm’s good traits–he was exceptionally handsome, frequently charming and intellectually brilliant–she took full credit; for all his questionable or more accurately negative traits–his overly headstrong nature, his morbid sensibilities and inability to leave well enough alone–she either blamed her ex-husband or claimed Malcolm was simply being stubborn.

As soon as she entered his apartment, it just felt _different_ . It _smelled_ different too. Gone was the usually antiseptic scent of cleaning products when Luisa made her rounds as it was replaced by the scent of _wood smoke…_

Her eyes landed on a recently lit diptique candle on his mantle by his awful weapon collection. Her son _did not_ light candles nor did he buy them or so she thought.

Immediately, Jessica noticed glass vases of white roses on many of Malcolm’s usually empty surfaces. On the kitchen counter, his coffee table, and even on his nightstand table. Her son did not buy flowers either and if he did she’d expect something like nightshade or something equally terrible. 

Her suspicions doubled when her eyes then went from the nightstand table to a pair of fuzzy black slippers right beside the bed. A deep purple afghan draped over the armrest of his couch–a strange sight when she knew he kept his blankets–and certainly not purple ones–in his hall closet.

The uneasiness only grew as things began to feel uncanny like she was in an apartment that belonged to her son but also did not at the same time. 

She walked over to her son’s typically overflowing hamper–at least something was normal around here. That is until she noticed the white dress shirt on the top of the pile and the rose brown smudge on the collar. _Lipstick?_ Jessica’s nostrils flared as she welcomed herself into Malcolm’s bathroom unable to shake the feeling that something strange was afoot.

That feeling was warranted as she found things that _certainly_ didn’t belong to her son. 

On his usually empty bathroom counter sat a black toiletry bag. She’d assume it was Malcolm’s that he’d left out after bringing his things back to his home. That is, if the bag didn’t have rose gold charms hanging from it and was clearly for makeup.

Unable to help herself, she unzipped the bag. A frosted glass bottle of foundation with the words _Fenty Beauty_ stamped on it caught her eye, the olive shade of it unsettled her. 

She didn’t like this at all. 

Rooting through the bag, hoping to piece together more about whatever the hell was going on here, she unearthed a tube of something called “Boy Brow” and assorted lipsticks all in shades of nude or pale pink–matching the lipstick on the shirt–as well as various _MAC Cosmetics_ eye shadow pots, most of them in tones of brown.

Her son would be furious if he knew what she was doing but she didn’t care and she couldn’t stop. 

Jessica opened Malcolm’s cabinet and next to his many jars of Bumble and Bumble hair pomade was a colorful bottle of something called “Plus Size,” a hair mousse for optimizing volume. That certainly was _not_ something that belonged to her son. Next to his Tom Ford cologne was a pink bow-shaped bottle of Viktor & Rolf Bon Bon perfume. _His and hers_ , Jessica thought with equal parts dread and rage.

This _had_ to have been what he was hiding.

Her son certainly had his fair share of secrets but it was clear that this one had to do with some _girl_ who’d obviously left her things here.

Jessica only felt anger rise within herself when her eye caught a silky, short blood red robe hanging on the back of his bathroom door. Clearly, he had gotten involved with someone without consulting her first and it was starting to go too far. Whomever this girl was, she was making herself far too comfortable.

Jessica’s mind was horribly inundated with images of olive complected temptresses wearing silky lingerie robes, traipsing through her son’s apartment as if she owned it.

She all but stomped out of the bathroom and her heels clicked loudly with every step she took. 

She went past his kitchen counter only to find cookbooks like _Food Babe Kitchen_ and another by _Ayesha Curry_ of all people, stacked on a shelf that was usually reserved for one of his grotesque statues.

Jessica frowned deeply as she took in the smiling, sweet looking celebrity chef on the cover, providing an unwelcome face for the temptress who’d likely tricked her impossibly naive son. 

Waiting for her blood pressure to lower, Jessica took in the ceramic pots and pans that sat on a dish rack next to his sink. Not once had she ever seen him take those pots and pans out of the box they came in as he claimed he never had a use for them. 

Well, Malcolm seemed to have found a use for them now. She couldn’t imagine _her_ son in front of a stove or was this possible Mrs. Curry look-alike feeding _him_? The thought made her want to call him up right this instant to demand answers. She made herself slow down as there had to be a simple, normal explanation and things weren’t possibly as bad as they seemed.

However, the only thing that seemed normal was the jar of twizzlers he always kept on his kitchen counter. But that normalcy ended when she opened his fridge, expecting to find nothing but a few bottles of Pellegrino but instead found a multitude of fresh produce, girly looking _prebiotic_ sodas, and many different kinds of cheese. 

She found things that _needed_ to be cooked and eaten within a certain timeframe and _her son_ certainly didn’t do either of those things regularly enough to warrant all of these fresh ingredients.

Malcolm who usually looked as though she’d insulted him whenever she suggested he eat cream of mushroom soup at family dinner was the owner of a fully stocked _spice rack_?

It was like she didn’t know her own son anymore.

Jessica started rifling through the drawer behind the island, grateful that Malcolm at least took evidence of his idiosyncrasies out of plain view and everything seemed to be in order there… until she saw something. Something that made her blood run cold.

––––––––––––––

_Prenatal vitamins._

Jessica felt her heart leap into her throat. There must have been some mistake–there _had_ to be. She started looking through all his drawers. She started to calm down until she reached his nightstand, moving as fast as her heels could take her and opened the top drawer. Laying right on top of some books and his old pair of horn rimmed glasses was a cream coloured piece of clothing. 

_Baby_ clothing.

Her hands trembled as she picked up the cotton fabric. Tan font spelling out the word “peanut.” Her nostrils flared once more. Of all the _idiotic_ things...

Oh, this _had_ gone too far. _Much_ too far.

It was one thing to be hiding something from her. It was another thing to hide someone he was involved with from her. But _this_?

Outrage filled her from the tip of her pointed toe stilettos to the top of her head.

She had to know what on earth was going on. As Malcolm’s mother, she had every right to know the depths of the mistake he’d clearly made. She stormed out of his newly amended apartment, throwing the onesie on his bed.

Certain things needed to be discussed at the next family dinner and her son had _a lot_ of explaining to do.

––––––––––––––––––––––

It had only been a few days since Malcolm asked Dani to move in with him and quite frankly, it couldn’t have been better.

Not just because they were preparing for their lives to merge and it’d be easier for Dani to move everything over to his apartment now but her lease was going to be up by the end of the month and Dani hadn’t signed the renewal contract yet.

As Dani was packing up some of her clothes in boxes, Malcolm was wrapping her mugs in bubble wrap and very carefully placed them in a box on her kitchen counter. 

Even though he was all too aware and happy that this was actually happening, like always, as soon as he started feeling joy and a reason to hope, the goblins in his head started to take over, reminding him that happiness had never been for him. 

He deserved the lies and the half-measures. He deserved the emptiness that consumed him the moment he was forced to confront reality that he had someone who wasn’t _his_ and would never be. The moment he watched his partner, the very essence of unattainable, tell him that he needed to get over that or at least that was what it had felt like then. 

He should’ve left well-enough alone but he didn’t and now he’d pay for it. He always did.

_She’s only doing this because you got her pregnant._

_You’re crazy to think that she’s not gonna wake up one day and realize what a mistake she made in choosing you._

_She has no way out thanks to you. She’s trapped. You ruined her life._

Malcolm’s hand began to tremble as he placed the last mug in the box. He took a deep breath as his shoulders shook and his eyes began to sting. _What if-_

“Bright?”

Malcolm let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding when Dani called out to him. “Yes?”

He almost jumped out of his skin when Dani placed a hand on his shoulder. He hadn’t even heard her come out of her bedroom, “You good?”

As much as his brain told him to play it off as nothing, that he was fine, he just couldn’t do that. He wasn’t fine. It wasn’t nothing and he wasn’t going to lie to Dani. Not anymore.

“Um...” He breathed what sounded like defeated and bitter laughter, “Not really.”

“What’s wrong?” Dani’s voice was so soft and gentle that Malcolm already felt the guilt eating him alive. Even though, this time, he had yet to lie to her about anything. He’d been honest but honesty wasn’t everything and it guaranteed nothing. When he didn’t speak, she took his hand, running her thumb along his knuckles and led him towards the couch, “Talk to me, Bright. Please...what’s going on?”

“Dani, I...” He looked at her, finding no impatience or frustration in her face. Just worry, “I don’t want you to think that I don’t want this or that I don’t want to try.” His eyes and ears began to sting with tears as his throat closed, “And I know it’s gonna sound like I’m making excuses but...”

“Malcolm...” Dani gently grabbed his chin, calling him by his first name. “Just tell me what’s on your mind.” Her thumb gently grazed his bottom lip–a sort of tenderness that aided a silent sob building in his chest. _I really don’t deserve this_ , “If there’s something you need to say...I wanna hear it.”

She still didn’t know about the crippling guilt he had knowing he had pushed her away because he had been too scared to confront his own feelings. 

He was so unwilling to believe she could ever feel the same way about him and why would she? Dani was beautiful and brilliant and pure hearted. _He_ was the son of a serial killer with more psychological disorders than words to describe them. He lived a nightmare. He _was_ a nightmare.

“Dani, I...” He started before feeling his eyes sting once more and he cleared his throat, the words he had to say, threatening to choke him, “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt sooner.”

Dani gave him a small but confused smile, her expertly groomed brows furrowed cutely,“Why?” She shook her head, “I mean, I wish you _had_ but...I know now…”

“It’s just that…the thought of _not_ ...” He waited for Dani to respond but she just looked at him, her pretty face was patient and open, waiting to hear what he had to say. He couldn’t not say it anymore even if he wasn’t entirely sure of _what_ he was saying, “I didn’t know if I was the only one… _falling_...and I…I got scared.”

He remembered how it felt to realize he’d fallen in love with his partner and he remembered how it felt being so close to admitting it only for her to respond, _only you would find it therapeutic talking to a killer_ . He soldiered on but felt his confidence fizzle by the moment, making him feel damaged and out of his depth especially when he admitted that she was the one he liked talking to and she only nodded a bit, a small smile as if to say, _that’s nice_.

Dani’s hand stroked his cheek, “I mean, I guess that’s normal, knowing you have feelings for someone can be scary.”

“Yeah but that doesn’t mean I should’ve allowed that fear to turn into anger.” That was it and soon as the words left his mouth, he was transported back to the conference room when he’d behaved like an animal. 

To say it was his grief at the time directing him would be shameful enough but that wasn’t it entirely. He’d felt _slighted._ He felt that he wouldn’t have to face all of that confusion and loss if she’d just seen the good in him–the good he _wanted_ to show to her.

Dani’s hands both grabbed his own, squeezing them gently, “Bright-”

“No, the fact is that I treated you horribly even when I pretended that I had moved on.” He looked down at their intertwined hands, feeling as though he didn’t deserve to have the comfort that came from her touch, “I just feel like I’ve done you a disservice...”

Dani furrowed her brows, “A disservice?”

“I mean, of all the guys in the city–of all the guys in the world, guys who can show you how much you’re really worth, you’re literally stuck with me.”

Dani sighed, tilting her head,“Bright, I’m not stuck with you.”

“I mean I’ve shouted at you and I’ve intimidated you.” He exhaled a choked sob, unable to keep his emotions at bay,“I mean you could do so much better… you and your child deserve better.”

“You’re trying to give me an out.” Dani didn’t say those words with hurt or betrayal and maybe there was a part of her that expected this conversation at some point. She had a front row seat to so many of her partner’s issues–the things he’d shared with her and the things she knew from simple observation. She understood what was happening. Malcolm was so doubtful of his own abilities–his own being–that he genuinely didn’t believe that he made her happy.

“I don’t deserve all the chances you’ve given me. I barely deserved the first chance.” She deserved a life and a love worthy of who she was and what she had to give. She shouldn’t have to waste her time on him, he’d proven time and time again why that had always been a mistake.

“Malcolm.” Dani pulled him out of his wallowing and caustic self-loathing by the firm yet caressing way she once again said his first name, “Let me ask you something. Did you want to do those things to me? Did it help you to treat me that way?” She knew the next question would hurt but he needed to be reminded, “Did you get any joy or happiness by pushing me away–by taking me for granted?”

Malcolm shook his head, the pain of his own wrongdoing still evident in his pale eyes as the tears clouded them, “No… I didn’t,” he whimpered. 

“I chose you for a reason but just as importantly...” She pulled his hands towards her and placed them flat against her stomach, “This is _your_ child too...” 

No matter what her worries had been, ever since he gave her their child’s first gift, she knew that he wanted this as much as she did.

Malcolm began to cry in earnest as he recalled his incident with the whiteboard, “I was just so angry at the world and I took it out on you. A part of me felt that if you believed me, if you believed that I could do better–that I cared– it wouldn’t hurt so much and I lashed out...I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t know that at the time… but thank you for being honest.” Dani scooted closer and wrapped her arms around him, letting him relax into her as she felt his arms wrap around her, “I’ve _always_ known you could do better, Bright. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

Despite the shame he felt for his past actions, it was important that Dani knew that he didn’t do it out of malice. He’d _never_ had malice in his heart towards her. It was important she knew that he didn’t plan on treating her that way ever again. He didn’t want to hurt her.

Something about Dani had always kept him off balance from the start and it only got worse when he started developing feelings for her and not knowing what to do with them. He didn’t like someone having so much power over him. The power to make him weak and vulnerable. The power to make him forget how hard it was to truly let someone in.

Letting Dani hold him and taking solace in the mandarin, caramel and jasmine notes of her perfume, the same fruity floral one that bewitched him that day in the field when he caught it on the wind, “You and I are not finished. I know our past is what it is but… we’ve got so much to look forward to. So many ways to do things differently _together_ and I want that if you do too...” he heard the smile and the sincerity in her voice.

She felt Malcolm squeeze her tightly, waiting for his hands to find their way under her shirt the way they always did, “I do...I want to be with you… but I’m afraid I’m just as inexperienced with _healthy_ relationships as I am with friendships…I just don’t want to let you down...” He placed a hand on her stomach again underneath her top. His fingers traced the ridges of her abs, “I wanna be good enough for both of you.”

“The fact that you’re willing to try means that I can trust you will be,” Dani pressed a kiss to his hair. “And if you ever yell at me again, I’ll kick your ass.”

Malcolm laughed quietly, “That’s more than fair.”

–––––––––––––

They were supposed to be packing up the rest of her things but the weight of the previous conversation lingered over them as they laid intertwined on her couch.

Dani grinned as she ran a hand through Malcolm’s hair, “Remember Bright, I fell in love with _you_ , not who you pretend to be for the rest of the world.” Malcolm raised his head to look at her, his crystalline eyes a bit red from earlier, “The man who makes awkward jokes and gets excited over books and geeks out over Freud. The man who listens to music older than he is. The man with more hyperfixations than I can keep track of. _You_.”

Malcolm smiled, not feeling sadness or shame for the first time tonight, “I guess I kinda forgot that for a minute.” Dani had always accepted him, she accepted him on the day they met but it was the layers upon layers of scar tissue that kept him doubting that he could actually have what he’d always wanted–that he could have even more than that.

“I’ll always be here to remind you.” If she had been with anyone else, what she just said would’ve felt so strange and unnecessarily soft but with Malcolm Bright…those words never felt more natural. Truly, she’d never said anything like this to anyone _but_ him, “And if our baby is going to be anything like you… I’m going to be a lucky mom.”

Malcolm huffed a laugh of disbelief as he adjusted their positions, letting Dani rest against his chest, “You can’t possibly mean that.”

“Of course I do.” Dani said as she took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers, “There’s so much more good in you than you think and in time, I think you’ll see that because we’ll help you.” He wasn’t there yet but she knew his potential, she knew he could be more than he was if he chose to be.

Malcolm smiled as the two of them shared a moment of comfortable silence. They could’ve stayed like that for hours but Malcolm felt like he had to say something else. “You know,” He bit his lip as he started, “On the day we met and I saw you chewing gum in the elevator… I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen even though you looked at me as if I had two heads. And you looked like you definitely could’ve kicked my ass if the opportunity had presented itself that day.”

Dani giggled but Malcolm could hear the skepticism in her voice when she asked, “Are you trying to tell me that it was love at first sight?”

“More like...” Malcolm tilted his head thoughtfully, his fingers hooking in the waistband of her black yoga pants,“ _Interest…_ at first sight. But when you held me, a total stranger you barely liked at the time, when I was terrified and battling with my own mind.” He kissed the side of her head, “I was hooked.”

––––––––––––––––––––––

“Huh, that’s weird.” Malcolm said as they entered his apartment. His apartment that was now _theirs_.

“What is?” Dani asked through the phone, he could hear her brows furrowing. He hated to leave her but he had to get ready for dinner at his mother’s and he doubted she would have approved of jeans and an old Harvard pullover. In fact, he’d never hear the end of it if he showed up looking “common” as his mother would say.

The profiler walked over to the bed and picked up their child’s onesie off the bedspread, “I could’ve sworn I put this in my drawer.” He neatly folded the tiny piece of clothing, “I guess I must’ve forgotten.”

He heard Dani let out a sigh of relief, “You scared me, Bright.”

Malcolm chuckled as he pulled the sweatshirt over his head about to head to the shower, “Everything’s fine, Dani. The apartment is ready for you to come by later.” He cleared his throat, “That is...if you want.”

“Most of my stuff is already over there.” Malcolm couldn’t help but notice the softness in Dani's voice, “Already feels like home.” His mouth broke out into a grin as he pulled one of his white dress shirts out of the closet; the type of smile that Dani called _her favorite_. “Bright?”

“Yeah?” He heard boxes being taped up over the line and he hoped she wasn’t overdoing it. Dani was strong–strong enough to knock him out cold with one punch–but there was someone else who needed her strength now.

“Are you sure that you’re okay with me not coming to your mom’s for dinner?” 

“Of course.” While he’d welcome her attendance, the idea of subjecting Dani to his mother’s neurosis didn’t excite him.

He wished his family were normal and the worst he had to fear when he formally introduced his family to the woman he fully intended to keep was his mother passing around an album of his baby pictures. Instead, he feared his mother saying something wildly insulting or inappropriate.

“You deserve to rest. I mean, all things considered.” He held his phone between his cheek and shoulder as he buttoned the cuffs of his sleeves after taking the shortest shower known to man and proceeded to open the refrigerator door, “There’s plenty of food and those prebiotic drinks you like in the fridge and some of that weird instant ramen stuff you’ve been craving lately.”

“Stove top ramen with eggs is really good, that’s not a pregnancy thing,” Dani protested, though she didn’t entirely know that to be true as she found herself eating ramen for breakfast and sometimes got up in the middle of the night to make it as well.

“If you say so.” Malcolm wrinkled his nose, unconvinced as in his estimation _only_ pregnant women and college students would eat dried noodles in a pot, “Considering the food you usually like, this threw me off.”

"I'm full of surprises,” Dani said breezily.

"Oh, I _know_." Malcolm teased as he closed the fridge door. “Or more accurately, you will be soon enough.” He squinted as he noticed some of Dani’s cookbooks had gone askew, before Dani could respond with something witty, he said; “I think we might need to get some bookends for your recipe books.”

“As long as they don’t ruin the covers, I’m good with that.”

“We can go shopping for more house stuff tomorrow so we can get them then.” A strange excitement went through him at the idea of doing something as _normal_ as shopping with his partner. Never did he think random trips to Williams-Sonoma would be in his future with _anyone_ and certainly not with _Dani._

That said, something still felt _off_ as he headed for the bathroom to fix his hair. It was longer than it had been in awhile but salon appointments just hadn’t been at the forefront of his mind lately and it was only a matter of time before his mother noticed. He was certain she'd have a heart attack if he showed up with a hair out of place and he wasn’t interested in her griping that he looked _unkempt._

He remembered Jackie and Gil coming to visit him in Cambridge and Gil always joked that he had gone through puberty in those first four months. He had somehow always been clean shaven and baby-faced even though he never shaved.

However, when the couple came to visit, they found an eighteen year old him with shoulder length hair and almost a full beard. Jackie’s first words upon seeing him had been directed at Gil, “ _I can’t believe you forgot to teach him how to shave!”_ with Gil joking, “ _I don’t know, Jac, I think he joined a band.”_ He’d laughed for the first time in a long time.

His mother never once visited him and he’d been grateful for it. 

“So what are you wearing?” Dani teased suggestively, her voice going raspy and low, bringing him back into the present.

Malcolm huffed a surprised laugh, “You’re awfully good at that...something you’d like to tell me, Detective?”

“Wouldn’t _you_ like to know?” He could see Dani’s cheeky smirk in his mind’s eye.

As he quickly threw on his suit jacket and started to head out the door. He stopped again because something just felt _different_. Almost as if there had been some sort of presence in the room. It was uncanny and uncomfortable. 

––––––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm walked into the dining room where many a family dinner had taken place. Given the circumstances, he had hoped that this family dinner would be like they usually were.

His mother trying to “fix” his life, maybe with the added exception that now Ainsley would have to endure that behaviour too. He’d hoped to be able to simply get in, pretend to eat for half an hour–maybe at most an hour while his mother complained about how he’d been ignoring her–he’d give her some vague platitude and leave with nary an argument. 

But this was the Milton-Whitly Manor, hoping for a sliver of peace was just wishful thinking.

“Mother. Ains.” Malcolm nodded as he took a seat at the dinner table. Jessica was unusually quiet and tight-lipped. Malcolm shot a quick questioning look to Ainsley who simply shrugged, clearly as in the dark about their mother’s unusually silent behaviour as he was.

Ainsley cleared her throat, “So Malcolm, haven’t seen you around in awhile. Busy crime fighting?”

Malcolm cleared his throat as well, trying to come up with some sort of excuse, “Well–”

“So were you just never going to tell me?” Jessica finally spoke up, her voice already bordering on shrill, “Your own mother?”

Malcolm’s brows furrowed, “Tell you what?”

“Oh, don’t play innocent with me, young man!” Jessica snapped, entitlement coursing through her veins and coloring every word she spoke, “I found the baby clothes!”

Malcolm’s eyes widened. _Christ._

“Malcolm Harrison Whitly, who the hell did you get pregnant? And at a time like _this_!?” His mother shouted, a look of absolute rage coming over features identical to his own.

Ainsley’s eyes widened as her jaw dropped in surprise. Her brother did many things, most of them outlandish but _this_ was a lot even for him. 

Her brother...a _dad?_

It defied all logic but then again, so did Malcolm. While Ainsley felt sorry for her brother and the fact that he was about to face their mother’s wrath, she couldn’t help but feel grateful to not have attention on herself for once.

“You...” It was one thing to go through his things but if his mother snooped through the apartment, that also meant she went through Dani’s things. It wasn’t just _his_ privacy she was violating; it was Dani’s privacy and their baby’s privacy–it was a violation of _their_ _home._ He and Dani had been able to live in their own little world for a while; a small bubble where they could enjoy it just being the two of them and their little miracle. He wasn’t ready to give that up yet. He wasn’t ready to merge the reality he longed for and the one he longed to avoid. Malcolm’s shock soon simmered into a quiet rage as his eyes narrowed, “You went through my things?”

Jessica had never seen Malcolm look so enraged. Even compared to the mere seconds before he had stabbed Martin in the heart. Malcolm looked about ready to overturn the dinner table as he stood up in a rush, tossing his napkin on the table next to a plate of cucumber canapes.

Jessica was slightly taken aback by his reaction but she pressed on, “Who is she? I demand to know!”

“You _demand_ to know?” Malcolm scoffed as he rolled his eyes. If Jessica Whitly had nothing else, she certainly had the audacity, “Oh, that’s just rich, isn’t it? You think I _owe_ you some sort of explanation? As if I’m some irresponsible teenager?”

“A teenager you are not though God knows you act like one.” Jessica countered, growing angrier that her son was choosing to be stubborn despite knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt how asinine this all was, “Irresponsible on the other hand, I’d say so. I saw the candles, the flowers, the recipe books where those grotesque statues of yours used to be, the _lingerie robe_ on the back of the door. You’re playing house! How are you _not_ irresponsible? You don’t even realize what a mistake you’ve made!”

Malcolm shook his head as the realization set in that that poltergeist-like presence in his apartment had been the lingering energy of his mother’s rage. _Unbelievable._

He looked his mother dead in the eye, “It was something I never expected to happen but I will never call _my child_ a mistake.” He shook his head again, “You know, I knew you’d react like this. I’m just honestly disappointed that I was right.”

Ainsley tried to interject, “Malcolm-”

“I don’t need your permission, Mother.” He pushed his chair backwards and took a step away from the table before turning back to face his mother one more time, “If you haven’t realized by now, I can take care of myself and I _will_ take care of my family.”

With that, he stormed out of the manor with so much as a goodbye to his mother or sister.

––––––––––––––––––––––

There were a few moments of silence before Ainsley blurted out, “So that went about as well as expected.”

Jessica nearly jumped out of her skin, forgetting her daughter had been sitting there, “How on Earth can you say that?”

Ainsley shrugged her shoulder, her blonde hair bouncing with the movement, “While I’m just as shocked as you are that Malcolm left some unsuspecting girl a little surprise; you _had_ to have known that yelling at him and ransacking his place wouldn’t work.” The youngest Whitly was secretly proud of her older brother for taking a stand against their overbearing mother. He clearly brought new meaning to the phrase _go big or go home–_ considering how he’d just done both.

“But can you believe this... this _insolence_!?” Jessica’s voice shook with disdain, “Malcolm has let some strange girl into his life just like that! No regard for propriety. We don’t know who this girl is or what she’s after-”

“Wait a second.” Ainsley stopped her mother’s ranting dead in its tracks. She’d thrown her brother under the bus before but right was right and he didn’t deserve this, “It was good and fine when _you_ were the one to literally send the world’s cheapest mail-order bride to his home. You’re just mad that your son chose his _own_ girlfriend who I’d assume he knows way better than that fake posh nutjob… come on, maybe show a _little_ humility here.” Ainsley took a sip of her water, “I mean the fact that whomever she is chose to even give Malcolm a chance without you having to convince her _twice,_ shows that maybe this new girl actually _likes_ him.”

She recognized the complete lack of self awareness and her mother not recognizing her role in how screwed up they were was how Ainsley found herself under house arrest in the first place. 

For a rare moment, Jessica was at a loss for words. She had no leg to stand on in this case, letting the accusation levied at her sink in.

“I know it’s a radical thought, but my brother is not a charity case that you have to beg the first rando to take off your hands and if Malcolm and this new girl wanna have a whole mess of mini Malcolms, that’s none of your concern and you can’t stop them.” Ainsley kicked back her chair and grabbed her plate of lobster ravioli, “You better get used to the fact that there’s gonna be a baby whether you like it or not. Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to have dinner in my room and not to sound like a rich bitch, but please have the rest of dinner and dessert delivered there. Thank you.”

As Ainsley walked away, she grew curious–curious about the girl Malcolm was seeing. Knowing that he’d never really been a fast mover when it came to relationships and most of his romantic prospects tended to fizzle out within a few weeks, she wondered who could have him _this_ whipped _this_ quickly.

Her brother was flaky, easily distracted and too often stuck in his own head. None of which would ever qualify him for boyfriend of the year the few times he had been someone’s boyfriend–the last girl being a complete train wreck notwithstanding.

The more she thought of it, the only person she could think of who could even be considered a long-term thing for him was his best friend and maybe this was a stretch but if there was _one_ woman her brother would move heaven and Earth for…

––––––––––––––––––––––

Meanwhile in the dining room, Jessica Whitly was stewing. She knew Ainsley was right but she just couldn’t bring herself to accept it. This was _outrageous._ Her son playing house with some temptress–a girl she didn’t know and more than likely wouldn’t approve of. A girl who obviously held more influence over him than she did–own mother.

She just could not allow _either_ of her children to have the last word on this matter. She _will_ be talking to her son about this further and if he _thought_ he would get the final say, he was sorely mistaken.

––––––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm unlocked the door to his–and Dani’s–apartment. He hadn’t eaten much at his mother’s considering he stormed out before the main course was served. Not that he would’ve eaten much of whatever meal that she had been planning on serving anyway, calling to mind Dani’s little joke about unseasoned food.

Considering that it was still relatively early, he wasn’t sure if Dani had made herself any dinner. He thought he’d do the most basic gentlemanly thing and bring his lady a nice dinner. 

That said, he hadn’t been doing a great job of being a gentleman or treating her like a lady–the way she deserved. His time had been divided between his mother’s house dealing with his sister’s case and trying to amend his life enough to support this new chapter that turned his world upside down. 

Even so, Malcolm couldn’t say he was an expert in romance. He’d never been the champagne on ice and rose petals on the bed type, that sort of effort had always been lost on him. Though, that didn’t stop him from imagining the sort of Valentine’s Day things he’d like to experience with Dani that he’d never had with anyone else.

He bit back the discouragement at how bad of a boyfriend he was and had always been as he stopped by one of her favourite vegetarian restaurants and bought her some sort of salad dish containing spinach, avocado, walnuts, burrata, and even beetroot and pomegranate. It wasn’t something he’d eat but he knew Dani loved it and her pregnancy had her craving greens more than usual. 

He couldn’t help how his lips would quirk upwards whenever he thought about Dani being pregnant and how _happy_ that made him and how he was trying to allow himself permission to feel that.

It surprised him quite a bit when he opened the door and found Dani in a way that was still new to him. She was relaxing on the couch underneath one of her giant blankets but when she got up, he noticed her… outfit.

She was dressed simply in a nude toned bra of some sort and matching high-waisted boyshorts. He’d never really seen Dani dressed like that but he couldn’t say he wasn’t mesmerized by her appearance. Especially considering she had piled her hair up into a messy bun, leaving little ringlets effortlessly falling around her head and neck. Her perfection was distracting to say the least.

“Hey...” She gave him a warm smile as she got up and met him halfway at the counter, something he still wasn’t used to seeing upon arrival. It was still an adjustment knowing it wasn’t just him and Sunshine anymore 

Malcolm’s smile widened as he happily–eagerly–greeted his partner, “Hi...” He cleared his throat, trying to play it at least a little cool and not to focus on just how _good_ she looked as he held up the take-out bag, “I figured that maybe you hadn’t had a chance to eat yet.”

Dani grinned as she took the bag from him, “How’d you know?”

“I know you.” A simple statement of fact that only made the light in Dani’s dark eyes shine brighter. 

“Thank you.” The detective gave a tiny smirk as she took the salad and placed it in the fridge, “I’m just gonna let it sit for a bit.” If he knew her as well as he said he did then this was that salad she was obsessed with. “Now...” She started as he took his suit coat off, “Do you wanna tell me what you’re doing back so soon? I don’t know how long your family dinners usually take but I’m pretty sure it’s longer than an hour.”

Malcolm sighed, unsure how to broach the subject. He didn’t know how to talk about any of what just happened in his mother’s dining room,

“Come on...” Dani gently took his hand leading him to the couch, “What happened?”

Malcolm took a deep breath, he didn’t want to have to tell her but he couldn’t hide this from her, “My mother knows...”

Dani’s eyes widened, “She…knows?”

“About the baby… about how I’m living with someone now...” Malcolm bravely held her eyes, he couldn’t hide from this and if she were disappointed in him, he had to take it.

“Does she know it’s me?” Dani asked evenly, knowing how bad this could be for both of them. She’d only been around his mother a few times, but she knew enough about the society matron to know Jessica Whitly wouldn’t think very kindly about _her_ as the girl who “trapped” her son, especially as she was aware of the type of girls his mother preferred for him.

Malcolm shook his head, “I don’t think so…I didn’t tell her and I don’t think she connected the dots.” He ran a hand down his face, “And now Ainsley knows too because Mother blew up at me before the first course was served.”

“Okay...” Dani wasn’t new to how his family operated and despite having wanted to keep the pregnancy a secret for a little while longer, she couldn’t say she was really all that surprised.

“And I also learned that...” He glanced down at his hands, “My mother found out because she had been in our apartment earlier to snoop…considering I wasn’t particularly forthcoming, she thought it was her place to try and figure out what was going on herself.”

Dani was conflicted. As much as it made her heart flutter to hear Malcolm refer to the apartment as _theirs,_ finding out his mother had been going through their things _bothered_ her. 

It was quite unsettling because she’d always kept to herself, she never let people in and her home was the one place she never thought about such things. To think of someone going through her things, trying to stitch together her life...it felt like a violation.

“I had already thought about getting the locks changed...” He huffed out a frustrated, humorless chuckle, “I just didn’t think it’d have to happen so soon.”

“Bright, you don’t have to do that.” Dani hesitantly added. She knew Malcolm would never make her feel uncomfortable but she didn’t feel right asking him to change so much for her sake. She wasn’t a permanent fixture in his life–well, she supposed she was now–but she had no right to throw her weight around.

“No, I do because even though I’m used to my mother snooping in my home, this isn’t just my home anymore. It’s _our_ home and I want you to be able to feel comfortable; to feel safe.” He gently pressed a hand against her flat stomach, still amazed at how a life was being formed there as they speak, “You shouldn’t have to worry about something like this.” He gently took her hands in his despite knowing his own hands were shaking, “It’ll take a few days for the new locks to be installed and the building code to be reset but I swear to you this will not repeat itself.” He gently stroked her cheek, “I’m so sorry...I didn’t mean for this to happen…”

Malcolm could handle his mother the next time she pitched a fit about him changing the locks again. She could stomp her foot and throw a tantrum but his mother was a grown woman and more importantly, he was a grown man as he had tried to make that clear to her countless times. He didn’t need her “supervision” and he was done trying to appease and pacify her.

He was taken aback when he heard Dani whisper, “I’m sorry too...”

He blinked, “What could you possibly be sorry for?”

“All of this happened so quickly and it just changed so much. Not just our relationship but our lives.” She felt a lump in her throat as she said, “And now it’s almost like I’m making you choose between me and your family and I-”

She was cut off by Malcolm gently holding her face in both his hands, his thumb softly stroking the high arc of her cheekbone, “Dani…you have to know that...” He swallowed his fear knowing she needed to hear this, “You’re my family now.”

He hadn’t been able to tell her before that day she went to the doctor alone. His good intentions had been lodged in his throat the way they always were when it came to her. He didn’t want that anymore, he didn’t want her to doubt her place in his life. He’d done that before. He’d made her feel disposable when she’d always been nothing but irreplaceable. 

Dani’s pretty face broke out into a huge smile that radiated from within. One that Malcolm recognized but he hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing quite often enough. “I...” She felt her eyes sting as she laughed nervously, unused to saying the things she kept close to her, “I can’t remember the last time I was anyone’s family.” Dani finished quietly, taking Malcolm’s hands in hers, squeezing his fingers gently. “I know it sounds silly but...” She cleared her throat, “It’s part of the reason why I wanted this baby.”

Malcolm gave her a kind yet quizzical look, tilting his head and waiting for her to continue. 

“I wanted to have my own family. I wanted _us_ to be a family. This baby…it felt like having someone of my own and...” She let out a cross between a laugh and a sob, “I didn’t even realize I wanted that until it happened.”

“We _are_ a family.” Malcolm said as he squeezed her hands in return, his ice clear eyes impossibly earnest, calling to mind that night she’d looked after him. He’d been high as a kite, but she knew he was telling the truth when he plainly stated that she could trust him. It had taken her by surprise because she found very few people worth trusting but the strange, complicated profiler said it without affect or hesitation. It made no sense but after then, those whispers of _what if_ were all she could think about. “And...you do have someone of your own...you have _me_.”

Dani sniffled, blaming her hormones for her tears as she was crying for no reason before smiling once more, “Really?”

Malcolm leaned in and whispered, “Really.” 

He pressed his lips against hers–an action that still felt as foreign as it felt right.

––––––––––––––––

It was meant to be a simple, soft and short kiss…

But when Dani tilted her head, allowing him to kiss her deeper, he gladly took the chance. Soon, his kisses began to trail down her jawline to her neck, his teeth running along her skin, making her shiver. He gently pushed her hair aside and his fingers gently gripped on to her bra straps, bringing it down over her shoulder and tugging until the garment sat at her waist. 

She knew where this was going...the same place it did _that night_.

“Bright...” She breathed, trying to force her mind into forming coherent thoughts when it was clouded by the feeling of his lips on her skin and all the places she wanted those lips to be. 

“Yes?” He muttered between kisses before looking back up at her. His eyes that were usually the same as his surname were now hazy and dark.

Her eyes landed on his lips, “We should probably...” She didn’t even finish her own sentence before her lips crashed against his with a sort of force she wasn’t expecting but that’s just what he did to her. Careful restraint became unchecked and uncontrolled.

Malcolm let out a tiny laugh between kisses, helping her shimmy out of the bralette now lying harmlessly on the floor as he muttered, “Probably...?”

“We should...” He began kissing down her neck again as Dani bit her bottom lip and smiled before whispering, “Malcolm...” She couldn’t think straight when she felt his stubble scrape lightly against her skin–a feeling more pleasurable than she could admit.

Malcolm paused for a moment before he tenderly kissed her pulse, feeling it beat wildly against his lips. He let her unbutton his vest and then his crisp white dress shirt, promptly pushing them both off his shoulders. The two of them _needing_ to feel the other.

In between wanting to take things slow and everything that made their lives what it currently was, _this_ hadn’t happened since that fateful night in this very apartment. 

Even so, Malcolm hadn’t been able to forget how incredible Dani felt pressed up against him, how they moved in rhythm and with perfect harmony. How she’d taken him to heights only imagined. 

He _missed_ her and he hadn’t realized just how much until he felt himself reacting and awakening, all thoughts of caution replaced by her alone.

Malcolm gently pushed Dani down on the couch. She felt a shift in the air when Malcolm suddenly stopped and she felt his fingers gently trace her bullet wound after they’d wound inside of the waistband of her boyshorts, pulling them down over her legs and out of the way.

A scar that would always be an unfriendly reminder of what they almost lost. 

She waited for a shyness that didn’t come at her partner seeing her like this again, his steady and heated gaze breaking through any hint of vulnerability she might’ve felt at such nakedness. 

He placed a soft lingering kiss over the scar as he murmured against her skin, “I thought I lost you...” He continued to press slow butterfly kisses over the wound on her hip to the one on the top of her thigh, “ _Please_ don’t ever leave me.” His words were desperate, almost prayerful.

Dani ran a gentle hand through his hair as his ice clear gaze seared through her, “I don’t ever plan to.” 

Kissing his way up her frame, Malcolm moved closer and pressed his forehead to hers. His hair falling in front of his face, “I love you...”

Dani grinned as her hand reached for his belt, pulling him closer to her as she unbuckled it before undoing the button on his trousers, anticipation and a desperate sort of need drove her insane but she couldn’t help asking, “Like crazy?”

Malcolm laughed as he pressed his lips against hers, “You’re about to see how crazy.” It was a playful promise that had heat licking at her veins.

Dani’s laughter joined in with his though the sound was throaty and hoarse to her own ears as she caught his bottom lip with her teeth, his smile widened at her brazenness. She pulled off his belt, tossing it to the floor and the rest of his clothes soon followed, “I love you too.” 

Things were growing more and more complicated but for right now, it was only him and only her. 

––––––––––––––––––––––

Dani took a deep breath as she stretched a little. She felt a little disoriented until she remembered where she was. She was still getting used to the fact that she actually _lived_ in the place she made so many stops on the way to her home after work. 

As the cobwebs cleared from her mind and the dizziness faded, she realized she was on the couch, wrapped in Malcolm’s arms with her head resting on his shoulder. Her thick purple blanket was the only thing that covered them. She tilted her head to look up at Malcolm’s peaceful face. It still felt so weird yet nice that she was the only one who got to see him like this.

She couldn’t help herself and kissed his stubbled jawline, wanting to love on him now that she finally could. 

Malcolm stirred before his eyes fluttered open to find Dani teasing him though the tenderness in her eyes was unmistakable, “Good morning, sleepyhead.” 

Malcolm let out a tired chuckle as he smiled, “I think we fell asleep...” 

It was the second time he fell asleep without thinking of the potential consequences and it was the second time he fell asleep being so relaxed and exhausted that he couldn’t imagine having a night terror. He lulled himself into a false sense of security because with Dani, it was so easy to believe he was normal but he knew he couldn’t keep making that mistake.

“You think?” Dani laughed a bit, feeling lazy and content, pressing a kiss to his chest. “Take a look at the window, Bright, it’s probably well into midmorning.”

Malcolm hummed in agreement before sitting up a little, wrapping his arms around Dani as she cuddled closer to him. 

A thought gnawed at him, “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Dani furrowed her brows questioningly, “It’s just that...” He wasn’t sure how to explain that control wasn’t the easiest thing for him. He was comfortable enough to be himself around her and although he’d never felt he had to hold back with her–something he’d never had with anyone else– he still worried about becoming too much, especially as the last time this happened she hadn’t exactly been able to feel her legs after.“I um…think I got a little...” He felt his ears turn red, “A little, um, excited in the heat of the moment.”

Dani looked up at him and saw the genuinely worried expression on his face. It was clear that Malcolm feared that he had crossed a line. He hadn’t. He wasn’t gentle nor was he rough exactly–he was... _intense_ and uniquely himself with her and she liked it that way. She placed a gentle hand on his chest, feeling his rapid heartbeat underneath her palm, “I’m good, I promise.”

He chewed on his bottom lip a bit–still hesitant, “Are you sure? I don’t wanna scare you.”

“You know...” Dani gave him a soft grin with a teasing glint in her eyes, “I like that you give me everything you got.”

A quiet laugh erupted from her chest as she watched a pink flush spread over his cheeks before he buried his face in her hair, pulling her closer to him. 

He let himself be soothed by the honey almond scent of her hair, eased by the idea that he hadn’t done anything that made her think differently about him. 

His bashfulness aside, they both were at peace in a moment that felt suspended in time.

–––––––––––––––

However, that peace very quickly came to an end when the sound of the door being unlocked was heard followed by the sound of stomping heels, “ _Malcolm Harrison Whitly!_ ”

Both Malcolm and Dani almost fell off the leather couch as they both scrambled to become decent. Dani managed to quickly slip on her bralette but in her rush and not being able to find her panties, she grabbed Malcolm’s boxer briefs. She knew she was putting her partner in a weird spot but at this point, it was easier for him to use the blanket.

As Jessica’s menacing footsteps got nearer, Malcolm hurriedly wrapped it around his waist. He didn’t have the time to throw his clothes back on as they were littered around the living room. 

Wearing a blanket was embarrassing and it definitely wasn’t suitable for company but it was literally better than nothing and it would have to do. Because of course, he couldn’t have a moment to himself with his partner _in his home._

Malcolm instinctively shielded Dani as she hurriedly pulled his underwear over her hips just before his mother entered, entitlement lacing her thundering voice, “I hope you didn’t think we _weren’t_ going to discuss this further-” 

The matronly socialite stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Malcolm with a blanket wrapped around his waist and _Detective Powell_ wearing what looked to be _his_ black boxer briefs and an unlined nude toned bra of some sort. The detective red cheeked and bewildered. Her son plainly irritated.

Jessica didn’t dare look at her son’s messy and crumpled clothes on the floor. Overwhelming evidence showing what had transpired in this very room between her son and the girl she’d been certain was _just a friend._

“What…” Jessica grinded her teeth as her face slowly formed a look of outrage. Her son had been grieving the loss of his girlfriend, he was sleeping with his partner and had gotten another girl pregnant? Had he gone mad? “Is the meaning of this?”

Dani cleared her throat, feeling her own face heat. This was arguably one of the most humiliating moments of her life; being caught with her boyfriend by his mother barging into the room.

"Two grown adults in their own home until an unwanted guest comes barging in," Malcolm rolled his eyes. He was wearing a _blanket_ for God’s sake, it didn’t take a genius to figure it out, "What do you _think_ we were doing–or would be doing–if you, you know, _weren’t here_?"

"Bright!" Dani hissed in a hushed tone. The man literally had no shame.“Seriously?!”

Jessica looked at the two of them, her fury growing at her son’s nonchalance. Her face was almost as red as the lipstick she so often wore. Wait... _their_ own home? 

Malcolm’s brows raised, "Honestly Mother, you couldn't even wait twelve hours before deciding that we needed to talk. You could've at least called, that's what _normal_ people do before coming over."

Suddenly, Dani’s stomach started to churn. That dizziness she felt when she woke up was back. Instinctively, one hand flew to cover her mouth while she pressed the other against her stomach. She tried to ignore it but the more she did, the more the nausea seemed to be making itself known.

Malcolm caught Dani’s movement from the corner of his eye and before he could finish saying her name, she rushed past him and his mother, barely making it to the bathroom before vomiting.

Suddenly, before she could make any sort of rebuttal against her son's words, Jessica realized who Malcolm’s mystery woman was and who that onesie had been for. The woman he was sleeping with and the one he’d gotten pregnant were one in the same. 

The more she thought of it...the makeup...the hair mousse...it had never been a mystery at all.

Malcolm gave his mother a frustrated look as he started walking past her. He tried to keep his dignity intact while holding the blanket up because inadvertently flashing his mother would be a trauma he’d never recover from, “Mother, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Malcolm–“ Jessica ground out before being interrupted.

“Now.” He gave her a firm look, his jaw flexing. His face and voice left no room for argument as he opened the door for her, “I’m going to take care of my partner and I don’t have time to hear about whatever perceived injustice you might be feeling today.”

He left Jessica standing in her place, flabbergasted that she was spoken to that way just before the door closed, leaving her on the outside of her son’s apartment and his life.

––––––––––––––––––––––

Once he locked the door, Malcolm quickly went over to his set of drawers, slipping on a pair of fresh boxers, quickly leaving the blanket on the ground to go tend to his ailing partner.

When he entered the bathroom, he found Dani practically hugging the toilet bowl, looking pale–a gray cast over her normally golden complexion. “I can’t believe I forgot morning sickness was a thing.” She groaned as Malcolm kneeled beside her, pulling her to his chest, “Good to know that the bathroom is where I’m gonna be living now because there’s no point in going anywhere else.”

Malcolm chuckled a bit as he kissed the top of her head, “It'll pass soon enough and I know you’ll have to deal with this again but remember...” He placed another kiss to her head, this one to the side of her temple, “You won’t be alone. I’ll be right here holding your hair back.”

“That is both the grossest and sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Dani smiled despite the nausea roiling through her, “I’m sorry about the timing.”

“Oh, I’m not.” Malcolm responded almost immediately, a smile in his voice as only her partner would have a sense of humor twisted enough to find this funny, “Your timing couldn’t have been more perfect.”

“That was the worst first-ish impression ever,” she groaned again thinking about layers upon layers of humiliation she’d just suffered in front of her boyfriend’s _mother_ and the look on the matriarch’s face seeing _her_ in Malcolm’s apartment like _this._

“It doesn’t matter what my mother thinks,” Malcolm gently rubbed Dani’s back as her nausea began to subside a little, “She doesn’t have a say in my life anymore.”

Dani took a deep breath, curling into him. The scent of stomach acid heavy in the air,“That is a bit of a relief.”

“I’ll be here the whole time. Nothing’s more important to me.” He meant it as this was the one thing he never knew he needed much in the same that she’d shared with him last night.

“I believe you.” Dani said as she rested her head on his shoulder, looking up at him. She saw what she’d always wanted from him: _honesty._

Malcolm smiled before a playful smirk took over his face, “By the way, you look _really_ hot in my boxers.”

That remark earned him a backhanded slap in the chest.

–––––––––––––––––––––

Malcolm returned to the manor after Dani’s stomach calmed down and she’d fallen asleep after he’d peeled her off the bathroom floor to claim the few bags he had been strong-armed into packing.

While there weren’t many things in his childhood room he wanted to take with him, he still had clothes as well as a few things that he would feel better about having in his own home, mostly books and things having to do with work.

His head turned when he heard a tepid knock on the door to find his younger sister standing by the doorframe, “Hey.”

“Hey Ains...” Malcolm smiled a bit–one of his polite smiles that never quite reached his eyes. He wasn’t mad at his sister but he couldn’t say he’d exactly be great company at the moment.

“So…" Ainsley walked over and sat down next to the bag on his childhood bed, “You and Detective Powell?” Malcolm furrowed his brows as Ainsley wrinkled her nose at their mother living up to her Chatty Cathy persona, “Mom told me.”

“Of course she did,” Malcolm said evenly, though he threw a charcoal gray cashmere sweater he’d yanked off a hanger into his bag with a little more force than was necessary. “I’m surprised all of Manhattan doesn’t know by now.”

“So you knocked up your best friend...” Ainsley shrugged with a smile earning her a slight glare from her brother, “I’m not judging _at all_ , I mean...” She gave a little teasing grin, “I did notice something… weird between you two, you know, when she came to the house that time with Gil and arrested you _again._ I’m honestly surprised it took you so long to ask her out.” The blonde shook her head, “I mean, I should’ve seen the signs, you’d be all ‘Dani’s so nice, Dani’s so smart, Dani takes such good care of me’, so naturally that translates to: ‘Dani, _please_ have my babies.’”

Malcolm paused for a moment. He actually hadn’t asked Dani out on a date. They had dinner at each other’s homes, gotten tea together before work and had movie nights curled up on the couch but he’d never actually taken her out to dinner and he suddenly felt the urge to give her a night out, just the two of them. 

He shook his head a bit before returning to packing up a few books and he even found an old stuffed animal he used to love as a child, realizing who he now could give it to, “Well, I didn’t plan for the baby thing to happen so soon–or at all.”

Ainsley smirked, her brother with his biology major and anatomy minor from _Harvard_ would know exactly what happened when you don’t _wrap it up–_ it was a risk he’d been willing to take whether he’d admit it or not, “Sure, I believe you.”

“I didn’t!” Malcolm insisted though Ainsley thought he doth protest too much.

“But you’re excited about it...” Ainsley smiled as Malcolm just gave her a _look_ and she held up her hands in defense, “Hey, _I’m_ excited for you! I get to be Auntie Ainsley.”

Malcolm couldn’t help the tiny but genuine smile that spread over his face at one person in his family understanding how important this all was to him. 

Neither of them heard the soft clicking of heels stop behind the door. Their mother listening in on their conversation.

“But...” Ainsley hesitated before speaking of the proverbial elephant in the room, “How are you gonna deal with the whole Mom situation… she’s _pissed_.”

“I don’t care what Mother thinks,” Malcolm answered flatly. He flung another expensive sweater into his bag. 

_Sure, he didn’t._

Ainsley shook her head, “Come on Malcolm. It’s just the two of us, no Mom, no pretenses. We both know you care a _tiny_ bit about Mom’s opinion… I know I do these days.” She finished quietly, her knot forming in her throat at the fact that her mother would never see her in the same way again.

Jessica felt a pang in her chest at the tone in her daughter’s voice.

“Well, here it is.” Malcolm said as he roughly tossed yet another cashmere sweater in his bag, “I _really_ don’t care!” His voice rose, making Ainsley flinch. He took a deep breath, taking a moment to control the rage he felt deep within himself, “I’m done capitulating and kowtowing to her every whim despite what I want or how it makes me feel. Dani has been my best friend and the person I trust more than anyone but because of Mother, I doubted myself. I made myself believe that what I wanted didn’t matter and what she wanted did and _for what_?”

Jessica frowned, hearing those words spat out like a bad taste in his mouth. Certainly that wasn’t what happened. Malcolm had wanted a second chance with his former girlfriend, hadn’t he? Why wouldn’t he have?

“The woman I’ve been in love with practically since I first laid eyes on her wanted _nothing_ to do with me while I licked my wounds over a craven opportunist because that’s what I deserved, right? That’s what Mother made me think I was allowed. Honestly, I don’t care how she feels or what she thinks. I just want her to leave me and my partner alone,” Malcolm finished as he realized he was nearly shouting again. 

He'd gotten his frustrations out but he didn’t feel much better. He was still angry, still annoyed and still tired of explaining himself.

Jessica took a deep breath, almost wanting to storm in but for once, she stayed where she was and stayed quiet.

He leaned against his childhood bookshelf, glancing down a bit, “Even if I did still care about what Mother thought, nothing and I mean _nothing_ would prevent me from being with the woman I love and raising our child. The only reason I would ever leave Dani is if she told me to...” He sighed deeply, “And I’ll pray to whomever is out there that never happens.”

“You really love her, don’t you?” Ainsley asked softly.

Malcolm felt himself smile a bit as even the thought of his partner lifted his dark mood. He looked up to meet his sister’s hazel eyes, “Yeah…I do. She’s the best person I’ve ever known and I know it sounds a little silly but...I’m lost without her.”

Ainsley smiled at her older brother. He hadn’t always been great at expressing his feelings–he bottled them up–they all did but it seemed like being with Dani was bringing out a side of him that had been hidden away for so long. It was nice to see. 

Her brother often bore the brunt of everything their father left behind. He deserved something–someone–good in his life. He deserved to give his heart to someone who wanted it–someone who’d protect it.

“Do you need any help packing up the rest of this stuff?” Ainsley asked as she gestured to one of the bags on his bed.

Malcolm shook his head, “I’m not taking everything, just mostly clothes and a few things that I’d rather have at my own place. I just wanna get back to Dani as soon as I can.”

“She’s waiting for you?” Ainsley asked, more out of curiosity about this new home life her brother now had.

“Not really–she’s probably asleep but I just don’t feel the need to be here any longer than I have to and I’d rather not stay for dinner again.”

Ainsley laughed, “That’s fair.”

As the siblings continued making small talk, Jessica remained at the door for a moment. Suddenly, it was all too clear that she had tried so hard to keep Malcolm close that she ended up pushing him away. 

She quietly stepped away from the door, walked away and consumed by her own thoughts. Her own son didn’t want to be in her home–the home he grew up in–and for the first time, she had no one to blame but herself.


	5. Chapter 5

“You look tired,” Dani said as she turned over on her side to look at Malcolm who’d scooted in beside her. It was almost 11 o’clock but _she’d_ been feeling tired, wanting to go to bed a bit earlier than normal. 

She knew her body was still trying to catch up from taking two gunshot wounds and also an actual person growing inside of her–her tiny grain of rice–her peanut. That said, she honestly wondered if she’d ever feel normal again.

It had been almost a week since she’d officially moved in with Malcolm and she expected an adjustment, the two of them having to work around each other after not really knowing each other’s habits in this way but that really hadn’t happened. Everything felt as normal as it always had.

“I always look tired,” Malcolm replied with a smile that looked as tired as he did.

The slightly bruise-like shadows underneath his eyes were deeper and no matter how hard he tried to hide it, Dani knew when he didn’t sleep. She’d known shortly after meeting him. _You look horrible_ , she’d flippantly breezed by him one morning as a way of greeting as she and Gil were on their way to a crime scene that would end up being more personal than she realized. _I know, right?!_ Malcolm replied, completely undeterred and perhaps even a bit charmed.

“I know you haven’t been sleeping,” Dani absently ran a hand through his thick chestnut hair. It was getting longer and she absently wondered how long he’d let it go without a trim as she tucked loose strands behind his ear. 

Despite the expensive pomade Malcolm slathered it with daily, his freshly washed hair was impossibly soft and she adored the feeling of it through her fingers, something she couldn’t have imagined he’d allow three months ago.

Malcolm looked down, avoiding Dani’s eyes. She knew everything about him. She always had but it didn’t stop him from going out of his way to not provide reminders of what she’d chosen to tie herself to forevermore. He couldn’t hide because she knew this too. 

“I can’t keep sleeping because I don’t know what I’ll do. I don’t want to hurt you...I don’t want to hurt our…” Malcolm trailed off, the thought of himself in the midst of an episode, flailing wildly and striking her or worse when he was unrestrained–that image of himself brandishing a knife while asleep choked him. What he was capable of haunted him and the thought of doing that to Dani tore him apart.

Dani’s hand drifted from his hair to cup his stubbled cheek, her heart twisting as self-loathing and shame colored his pale gaze, “You won’t. I know you’d never hurt me–us.”

“Dani, when I fall asleep...I can’t control what I do. I’m dangerous,” Malcolm insisted as much as he loved her comfort, he wouldn’t let her rationalize this away to make him feel better, not if her–their–safety was at stake.

"I don’t think that’s true.” Dani echoed words she’d spoken to him awhile ago, words that she’d always thought meant far more to her than they did to him.

“It is. I tackled you in the middle of the precinct. I almost stabbed my ex to death all because I was asleep and felt threatened. People don’t sleep next to me for good reason.” 

Malcolm remembered telling Dani as much only two weeks after meeting her. He also remembered hastily and embarrassingly trying to let her know that he wasn’t as inexperienced as the way he’d made it sound. Maybe it was the alcohol talking but he’d wanted to impress her–let her know that he had a certain amount of prowess–which was absurd considering the circumstances.

“Malcolm, you’re not dangerous. You were hurt. There’s a difference and that _matters.”_ Dani’s soft voice calling him by his first name jerked him out of his head, bringing him back into the present as her blunt nails gently scraped along his jawline. “Besides, you tackled me but all you did was hug me really tight–you weren’t threatened by me then and I know you wouldn’t be now, but if you want me to help you into your restraints I can do that…”

Malcolm looked into her eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity and softness in her dark eyes. Dani helped him into his restraints before but chaining himself always made him feel isolated and woefully inadequate. It made him feel like a freak–someone damaged and broken. 

He didn’t want to wear the restraints–he’d long accepted them as they kept himself and others safe in the midst of one of his episodes. The restraints were just another loathsome part of who he was like the medication and the hallucinations but he liked pretending they weren’t. He liked being able to spoon behind the woman he loved, resting his hand on her stomach and imagining the little rice grain growing inside of her. 

It was selfish and it was dangerous but he liked feeling normal. After all the times he’d tried to be, only with Dani did he actually feel like he was. 

“I don’t think we need them though,” Dani said softly, seemingly able to read his mind–though that wasn’t something new. She always seemed to know what he was thinking–something that both unnerved and warmed him coming from someone so new in his life.

Malcolm watched a flash of sudden recognition cross Dani’s eyes as she trailed off and before he could question it, she reached over him, grabbing her phone from the nightstand. 

“Um...the Calm app doesn’t really work for me,” he said as he watched her tap the screen before soft acoustic music filtered through his speakers. 

_I found a love for me_  
_Darling, just dive right in_  
_And follow my lead_

Dani looked up at him, her gaze was warm and her dimpled smile was triumphant as she adjusted the volume, making the music a low, soothing hum. 

“A lullaby?” Malcolm asked her incredulously.

“Kinda, “ Dani grinned, pulling him into her arms. He didn’t recognize the song but he couldn’t help the feeling that ran through him as those lyrics landed on his frayed nerves, light as a feather. 

He wanted to find the idea of a song lulling him to sleep preposterous if his heart wasn’t melting enough to pour right out of his chest at her earnestness.

Malcolm let all of the fight leave him, surrendering to the feeling of being safe–of being considered safe. He shouldn’t allow himself this indulgence, but he couldn’t help it as she wrapped his arms around her, his head in the crook of her neck and his hand fisted in her threadbare NYPD shirt. He inhaled the scent of her lotion, that classic Nivea scent that felt oddly nostalgic. It calmed him just like she did.

“Why _did_ you choose me?” Malcolm murmured rather timidly after a few moments passed, harkening back to their conversation from a few days ago.

 _Well I found a man, stronger than anyone I know_  
_He shares my dreams, I hope that someday we'll share a home_  
_I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets_

Dani leaned down, kissing the crown of his head, wanting to let the lyrics to one of her favorite songs answer his question but she knew what he was getting at.

“The good business,” she replied hoping to make him laugh and was disappointed when he didn’t. He probably didn’t even remember saying that.

“Dani, I’m serious. Why? I don’t deserve you. You don’t deserve me...you deserve better–more.” Malcolm said into her skin miserably.

She’d comforted him before but he still couldn’t shake the truth that stared him down every time he looked in the mirror. He wasn’t the hero in this story nor was he the knight in shining armor. He wasn’t the villain either but he had many brushes with darkness and blood on his hands. He didn’t deserve the princess. 

“Despite the few false starts we’ve had and maybe it sounds cliché but I’ve never met anyone who understands me the way you do,” Dani answered truthfully, trying to articulate things she’d never spoken aloud before. “Until you...I didn’t want to be understood. I didn’t want anyone close to me.”

Malcolm didn’t know what to say, choosing to focus on Dani’s voice above the music. He listened as hard as he could for fear of missing anything. “You made me want to be happy...you made me think I could be.” Malcolm’s hand wound underneath her shirt, flat against her stomach as she closed his eyes against the twinge of guilt reverberating through him.

Twice, he could’ve been honest with her. Twice she’d been right in front of him, waiting for his honesty but he’d been so stupid and so blinded by fear. He didn’t think anyone could ever see him that way, he didn’t think he could ever make anyone happy.

“You made me think that too,” Malcolm admitted slowly. “But I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t know how to handle the fact that a smile or a joke or a look from you could make me happy..” He lightly tapped her stomach, he wanted her to say something, something to validate his honesty but he realized waiting for validation was what kept him so far from her in the past and he still had more on his heart that he needed her to hear. 

“I was so focused on what I thought I deserved–that you were too good for me that I never thought to try to be what you deserved. I didn’t think I could be that good–I still don’t,” Malcolm whispered, the truth stealing his voice.

Dani sighed, trying to digest all he shared with her. Knowing him the way she did and seeing everything, Malcolm was neither good nor bad but something mercurial that met in the middle. 

That didn’t mean he’d always be that way. She meant it when she told him he had more good in him than he thought, but he had a choice in letting that side of himself shine through instead of letting it flicker and perhaps no one had ever told him that.

Dani shifted slightly so that her palm rested over his heart. “Maybe don’t think in terms of whether you’re good or bad.” Her fingertip drew a heart over his, “Just let _this_ guide you and you’ll know.”

“Where have you been my whole life?” Malcolm mumbled into the side of her neck, his stubble tickling her skin. Dani smiled as he shifted, folding into her and holding her tighter as though she’d slip through his arms. She would’ve teased him for such a sappy, cheesy sentiment if he didn’t sound so sincere.

“Waiting for you.” She figured if there was anytime for a sappy, cheesy sentiment of her own that this was it. 

Malcolm looked up at her, his ghostly blue eyes appeared more silver in the dim lamp light. He scanned her face, checking for all hints of their normal teasing banter and found none.

Dani meant what she’d said. 

He didn’t believe in things like fate or destiny or anything that wasn’t scientifically verifiable or at the very least rooted in logic, but he wondered if he’d been waiting for her too. If all the pain, the heartbreak and loss was meant to lead him here to _her._

 _I have faith in what I see_  
_Now I know I have met an angel in person_  
_And she looks perfect_  
_No, I don't deserve this_

Malcolm’s eyes grew heavy as he rested his forehead against hers and he closed them finally as he buried his face in her neck once again, falling asleep to words that described all he felt.

––––––––––––––––––

Sundays were supposedly for relaxing and that was what Malcolm had planned to do now that he actually could. Instead of spending the morning in bed with his partner whom he left fast asleep, he was going to brunch at one of his mother’s favorite restaurants. 

He tried to recall the moment of zen from the previous night as he’d been as honest with Dani as he ever had and he hadn’t feared the consequences of putting himself out there. In fact, she’d returned his honesty with honesty of her own as she held him, allowing him to fall asleep in her arms to the soft strains of one of her favorite songs. A moment that meant more to him than he could ever express. 

That said, his moment of zen ended abruptly when his mother called him, asking to talk. He _didn’t_ want to talk, not after his mother let herself into his apartment for the millionth time and went through his things, Dani’s things and indignantly demanded answers he wasn’t ready to give, then insulting him, his partner and their unborn child the previous night. If that wasn’t bad enough, taking it upon herself to barge in on them yet again, the very next morning invading their privacy in more ways than one.

These were changes both he and Dani were trying to navigate, living in their new normal. More than anything he’d wanted his home to be just as much hers as it was his. Dani agreed to move in with him because she trusted him–because she wanted to be with him and do more than just co-parent and he didn’t want dysfunction and his mother’s utter lack of decency to cause his partner to reconsider her choice. 

He knew what Dani’s distance felt like and he never wanted that feeling again. He wouldn’t be able to stand it.

Usually, Malcolm agreed to his mother’s farcical attempts for familial camaraderie just so she could leave him alone, but this time he actually wanted to say exactly what was on his mind.

–––––––––––––––––

Jessica sat up a bit straighter as she saw her son making his way to their customary table at The Modern. Malcolm in his navy windowpane three piece Zegna suit took a seat looking as though he were preparing for a root canal, not about to have brunch with his mother. 

He’d also arrived alone, Jessica realized. She felt a bit stung as she’d hoped that he would’ve brought his partner with him as a show of good faith. 

Clearly, her son didn’t believe that she could operate with any and Jessica supposed she deserved that.

Before acknowledging his mother’s presence, Malcolm noticed a white, medium sized box on the table.

“Is this what you’ve resorted to? Bribery? How much is it, a hundred thousand? Two hundred thousand? A half a million, Mother? How much are you offering me to leave my family?” Malcolm asked, barely tamping down the outrage filling him at his mother’s audacity but his mother was Jessica Whitly and there was no low she wouldn’t stoop to in order to get her way.

“I wouldn’t–" Jessica’s hand stilled on the mimosa glass that had made it halfway to her mouth as she stared in shock that her son would accuse her of such a thing–that he’d think that little of her.

Her impulse was for indignation but she’d overheard his words to Ainsley the other day. He claimed to have capitulated and kowtowed to her. She’d always thought he listened to her and agreed with her about his personal life because he truly thought his mother knew best. Apparently, that had never been the case and he blamed her for getting in the way of him and his lady partner.

That wasn’t her intention as she didn’t consider the idea that he might feel that way about the young lady he worked beside. Detective Powell was beautiful and Malcolm being a young man would’ve noticed but she never thought he’d take such a thing seriously. They were just too _different._

Clearly, it was only her who thought so and Malcolm was clearly drawing a line in the sand. It was the now three of them and then it was her. On the outside symbolically just as she had been literally as he closed the door in her face to tend to his lady partner and her apparent morning sickness. 

“Wouldn’t you? You let a stranger into my life knowing nothing about her but because she _looked_ the part, no questions asked, right?” Malcolm smiled though it looked more like a snarl and his eyes were as hard as marble, echoing the same thing Ainsley had accused her of at the dinner table. 

Jessica realized that her son was genuinely angry and her daughter had taken his side. It wasn’t the same anger that was often explosive, that same temper he inherited from her that resulted in dramatic exits and objects being thrown. This was fury. It was quiet and simmering. Jessica didn’t know how to handle it. She wasn’t used to him being upset with her.

She opened her mouth to defend herself but he cut her off before she could, “It was fine that she wanted to hurt me, it only mattered that she was _just like you.”_

Malcolm sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. He wished he could take pleasure in his mother’s stunned silence but he couldn’t. It didn’t please him to lay bare all the things that injured him and nearly cost him everything but he did it all the same, “Don’t insult my intelligence by pretending otherwise. You and I both know what’s most important to you and it isn’t what’s best for me.”

Malcolm had ripped the rug right out from under her but Jessica couldn’t begin to justify her actions because her son clearly believed she’d acted insidiously and that made her squirm under a cold, blue-eyed gaze that was so much like her own.

Jessica realized that Malcolm didn’t tell her about his feelings for his partner for the very same reason he didn’t tell her about the pregnancy. Her son didn’t believe she’d accept the two people he’d brought into his life and with a shame she didn’t want to acknowledge, he’d largely been right.

“You’re right...and I apologize,” Jessica said quietly, not seeing the child she’d admittedly neglected twenty years ago but the man who didn’t need her anymore–the man who barely looked as though he wanted her–his mother–in his life anymore. “I know what you think–what I’ve given you reason to think–but I...I guess, I just wanted an ally. I wanted to ensure a way in, knowing you’ve always wanted a way out.” 

“It’s always been about you. You’ve never cared about what I wanted–what made _me_ happy. The only happiness you’ve ever cared about is your own. How can I trust that you won’t deliberately ruin this for me all because you didn’t choose it personally? Because the woman who actually chose me won’t have tea parties with you?” Malcolm asked, finally feeling like he could be honest. Platitudes didn’t work anymore, he had something to fight for now and he would. He wouldn’t let his mother trample over all he held dear.

Jessica took a deep breath, she wanted to reach for her son’s hand but his arms were still crossed. He didn’t look at her with contempt anymore but his brutal honesty and the thinly veiled venom in his voice cut just as deeply. “I apologize for that as well. I’ve always wanted you to be happy but I suppose it was wishful thinking to believe you wanted the same things I did and it was wrong of me to suggest that your...” she cleared her throat, trying to make her mouth form words so foreign on her tongue, “child is a mistake.”

Malcolm said nothing but the flexing of his jaw suggested that he wasn’t likely to get over _that_ particular slight any time soon. Her son wasn’t a grudge holder–after all, he kept going back to his father–but she saw no mercy in his familiar blue eyes. His mother making an honest apology didn’t move him in the slightest not like she thought it would.

The truth is that she really didn’t know her son as well as she _thought_ she did because the man sitting across from her might as well be a stranger.

But was he really a stranger or was she seeing him for the first time? Jessica never ventured far outside of the social circles that made her and her son being unfailingly modern always did. 

Her son hated ballet and attending all the gatherings she hosted among her idea of the proper company a young man with his station in life should keep. 

Her wish to constrain him had always been about keeping him from venturing too far away from her and into the things she didn’t understand. Things that pained her and made her son look to Jackie Ruiź-Arroyo for a mother figure and make a girl just like her the mother of his child. Things that reinforced the void he had that she just couldn’t fill.

Men married their mothers and her son looked to be on the fast track to choosing the mother he _wished_ he had. Jessica would be lying if she said she hadn’t seen this coming years ago.

She thought she was doing what was best to preserve her place in Malcolm’s life, but she never expected the undercurrent of resentment that permeated every word her son spoke to her and about her. 

Malcolm leaned in, making sure his mother heard him clearly and there was no room for argument,“Now you know that I don’t and I never did. Here’s the truth, Dani is the best thing to ever happen to me and I won’t let you get in the way of that. _Period._ ” 

Jessica nodded woodenly, unused to accepting anyone’s terms but her own but knowing she had to if she wanted any chance of being included in the life her son had chosen for himself, “I won’t. I will give you the space you want.” 

This terrified her as if she gave Malcolm an inch of space, a modicum of independence she’d lose him for good but she knew that the more she pressed, the more he’d retreat. There were no good options, there was only acceptance.

“Thank you, that’s all I ask,” Malcolm said uncrossing his arms. Did he completely believe his mother that she’d change course for the first time ever? Of course not but he’d give her the opportunity to prove that she could.

Dani gave him countless opportunities to prove he was better than the way he acted and it was only fair to offer his mother the same. That said, for the first time he had leverage and he would use it in the event his mother wasn’t interested in changing.

His mother’s bright red painted lips tilted up into something that looked like a resigned smile as she pushed the box toward him, “I promise it’s not a check and though you consider me to be some sort of _Karen_ …” Her nose wrinkled in distaste, “I would like you to give this to your partner.”

Malcolm’s brow peaked at the description though he didn’t disagree. He cautiously lifted the lid to the box, unwrapping the thin white tissue paper, finding tiny taupe colored cashmere baby socks and a little cap. 

A peace offering.

He wasn’t sure if things would end up being peaceful but this was a start.

––––––––––––––––––

Setting the brown paper bag of food from brunch on the island after his mother suggested he “be a gentleman” and bring his partner something to eat. He was still getting to know what Dani liked but he figured Belgian waffles, glazed cranberry and orange scones and caramelized turkey bacon would meet her approval.

Malcolm looked up, finding Dani curled up on her side, facing the window and away from him. Almost black curls obscured the pillow. 

He was still trying to get used to the idea that he got to come home to this and not an empty apartment. Malcolm walked over to the bed, undressing and tossing his suit at the foot of the bed–not even bothering to grab sweats out of his drawer before sliding in next to her. 

Though his meeting with his mother was more productive than he’d anticipated, he still wanted the lazy Sunday morning–or mid morning–he’d always heard about but never actually experienced. 

“Hey…” Dani murmured as she turned over, tucking her head underneath his chin. Freshly washed honey almond scented curls tickled his nose. 

“Hey...I brought food,” Malcolm responded, running a hand along her spine and closing his eyes hoping she didn’t feel like moving as she was so warm and already the tension from earlier had begun to melt away.

Dani hummed though it didn’t seem as though she was in any hurry to move as her fingers ghosted over his stomach, her fingers teasing along the ridge of his apollo’s belt just inside of the waistband of his boxer briefs. “Wh–what are you doing?”

“Don’t worry Bright, if I wanted you out of these,” Dani popped the waistband against his hipbone for emphasis, using _the voice_ on him. “You would be.”

“Oh really?” Malcolm smirked, calling her bluff though he soon realized that he’d miscalculated when Dani straddled him in one smooth motion, her hands pressing against his shoulders and a playful glint in her dark eyes. 

“Is that a challenge?” Dani grinned, knowing she had him at her mercy.

His obvious surprise hadn’t been able to overshadow the likely giddy smile spreading across his face as his hands came to rest at her hips. His mind hadn’t intended to go there but the thought of being able to look into her eyes as she…as he...

He blinked up at her, waiting for his brain to stop buffering and produce thoughts that weren’t vividly business centered. It wasn’t the easiest thing as all he could do was picture her without her ribbed ivory colored bralette and feminine style briefs–a set he was informed were called Skims and how she’d look taking them off.

Dani’s grin widened as if she could read his mind, although from where she sat on him it didn’t exactly take a mind reader to tell what _he_ wanted to do. 

He did have something important to tell her and if he allowed himself to surrender to this moment it was unclear when they’d get around to talking and he didn’t want to keep this from her.

Malcolm turned over suddenly, pushing Dani back into the mattress. He wasn’t known for self-restraint and if he had any hopes of having an actual conversation, he needed another vantage point that wasn’t Dani staring down at him with her curls wild about her bare shoulders. “Not a challenge...but I do have to talk to you.”

“Okay...what do you wanna talk about?” Her response was straightforward enough, if she hadn’t hitched her leg over his hip, angling herself closer and cupping his face. Her dark eyes still alight and dancing with playfulness. A side of her only he knew.

“Dani...come on,” Malcolm groaned as he was flooded with awareness of the fact that only a shockingly small amount of material separated them.

“You know…” Dani ignored his admittedly feeble pleas with a smile that drew furnace level heat to his chest and places more _southward_ as her fingertips lightly traced the tops of his cheeks and the darkened space underneath his eyes. “When you get like this...I could just _eat you up._ ”

Malcolm felt his face burn beneath her hands as a flustered chuckle escaped his lips, feeling like the nerdy adolescent he’d been at one time who’d somehow found himself locked in a broom closet with the varsity cheerleader.

“Is that an innuendo, Detective Powell?” He’d meant it as a joke although...

“Maybe...” Dani smirked, her fingers continuing to drift over his face as though she were memorizing him through touch alone. 

Malcolm sprung away from her, a little gracelessly, rolling onto his back. Dani was now outright laughing at him but he needed to put some space between him and images of things he didn’t believe he was even allowed to imagine his partner doing. He didn’t trust his alleged big brain and body not to betray him and see just how far she was willing to go.

“Can I trust you to actually talk?” Malcolm opened one eye to find Dani propped up on an elbow still gazing down at him with amusement.

“Fine, I’ll behave,” Dani scrunched her nose in mock-disappointment.

Unable to help himself, Malcolm smirked, “You know I love it when you don’t…”

Dani looked down to where his palm rested flat on her stomach, “I think you love it a little too much.” Malcolm’s shameless dimpled grin provided a better answer than he ever could. “So...what is it exactly you need to talk to me about?”

“I didn’t leave earlier just to get food…” Malcolm turned over on his side to face her. “I actually met with my mother over brunch…”

––––––––—––––––

Dani took an even breath. His mother had always been at least somewhat pleasant to her though the matriarch’s neurosis always made Dani want to give her a wide berth but after Malcolm apologized for his mother’s complete invasion of privacy, vowing that it wouldn’t happen again–it did. The very next morning.

What would have been annoying became utterly mortifying as Jessica yelled for answers outside the door that Malcolm hadn’t provided, sending the two of them scrambling to become decent in an attempt to not make it so incredibly obvious what happened the previous night.

Follow that with her becoming violently ill with her first ever bout of morning sickness, rushing to the bathroom wearing Malcolm’s underwear because she couldn’t find her panties after he’d taken them off the night before. _I assume you want these back..._ He’d plucked her missing boy shorts from in between the cushions as he settled her back on the couch. _God, this is a new low for me_ , she’d groaned, mortification and nausea mixing together as Malcolm laughed, kissing her forehead not nearly as bothered by this as she’d been.

She could only imagine the type of meeting her partner and his mother had. How his mother probably made it abundantly clear what a mistake he’d made and how he needed to fix it. 

“How much did she offer you to leave us?” The question slipped out before Dani had a chance to think better of it. The infamy aside, Malcolm’s family line was only second to Rockefeller in this city and Dani wasn’t naive enough to believe Jessica Whitly would welcome the likes of _her_ or a child that was half her into it.

Malcolm buried his hand in her curls, wanting to comfort her. He’d thought the same but to hear Dani say it pulled at his heart because he understood where she was coming from and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to keep her from feeling that way. “Nothing actually. I was honest with her about everything and I stood up for myself and for us.”

“And how did that go?” Dani asked, keeping her tone neutral.

“It went better than I expected. I don’t believe she welcomed my newfound independence, but I think for the first time, my mother realized that she didn’t have a choice.” Malcolm sat up gently removing his hand from Dani’s hair, suddenly remembering his mother’s gift that he’d placed on the nightstand before. “I think she knew it too without me needing to tell her.”

Dani looked down at the white gift box Malcolm placed in her lap, gingerly lifting the lid as though something would jump out and bite her. Pulling back the thin white tissue paper, her eyes fell to a taupe colored baby cap and the matching socks. They appeared to be cashmere and obviously expensive, “Cute.”

Malcolm studied his partner’s face as she appraised his mother’s peace offering. Dani’s face hadn’t changed from when he’d first broached the topic of his mother. She wasn’t pleased nor was she displeased, she didn’t appear to feel anything. 

He knew his partner hated when he profiled her but he honestly didn’t know if he could. Everything he thought he knew about Dani just by reading her, turned out to be wrong. “Dani...I can’t tell if you think this is all bullshit.”

She did but it wasn’t her place to say so.

“I don’t know, Bright, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see…” Dani said, putting the lid back on the box and putting it back on the nightstand.

Dani still gave away nothing and Malcolm felt like he had to say more. He didn’t want to leave things with this fine layer of ice that had settled over them, especially when they’d been nothing but insanely happy since he confessed his feelings to her that morning, “I want to believe it’s not but to be frank, my mother’s modus operandi is to act in bad faith–she _is_ a bad faith actor.”

“So where does that leave us?” Dani asked with raised brows. It would leave them the same place they were now. What his mother thought was irrelevant to him.

He folded Dani’s hand into his after tenderly kissing the middle of her palm. “Truthfully, I guess we really will just have to wait and see. What my mother likes or doesn’t like...it doesn’t change anything. The building code has already been reset and the locksmith will be here tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry again for making you choose,” Dani murmured looking down, studying their intertwined hands. The sun flares streaming in from the window, drawing something of a halo over her curls.

“It’s not a choice,” Malcolm said softly, knowing she truly believed it despite his previous reassurances. He gently removed his hand from hers, squeezing her wrist before his hand went to her stomach once more. “At the risk of sounding, well, like Martin Whitly’s son...you and this child are the only thing in this world that I would kill or die for with absolutely no hesitation.”

This was the type of declaration he’d never make. He’d never let anyone know the level of intensity he was capable of feeling and he never wanted to provide a reminder to anyone of what he was capable of. 

This was different because this was _Dani._

Dani shook her head, her gaze warm and a bit teary, indulging in his macabre sort of romance, “That is so morbid, why am I crying? What did you do to me?”

Malcolm laughed, pulling her to his chest. He nuzzled his stubbled cheek against hers, a sort of tenderness she’d never expect from him. “I love you...that’s all. I know it’s not enough...but I do.”

––––––––––––––––––––

He’d been up early as he’d gotten a text from his mother to meet her and Ainsley at the law firm representing his sister. A preliminary hearing had been scheduled for his sister’s case. His mother thought it was prudent that they all be briefed on what that would look and sound like. He hadn’t spoken to his mother since their meeting three weeks ago and while he still wasn’t in the mood for forced pleasantries, he promised to be there for his sister and he would be.

No matter how hard he tried, the fact remained that the happiness that existed within these four walls wasn’t the entire extent of his life. What made him Malcolm _Whitly_ was never that far away. 

“ _Bright!_ ” Malcolm looked up to see Dani practically running out of the bathroom toward him. He looked up, startled by her suddenness. Her hands were clutching her stomach and he hoped to God something wasn’t wrong.

He’d been doing his research–maybe too much–but he knew the first trimester was the riskiest and based on all she’d been through he didn’t know if she were more at risk than most. 

The doctor reassured them that Dani’s youth and excellent health history shielded her from most complications and Dani had teased him saying that all of her parts were in proper working order but being young and healthy didn’t erase the bodily trauma she’d endured that led to them even finding out about this. He still remembered vividly kneeling in a pool of her blood and how it felt to know that if she died, he died too. He’d go on to exist physically but emotionally and spiritually, she was all he had. 

Malcolm had been able to attend her second doctor’s appointment and the doctor did discover a heartbeat. He couldn’t have imagined the utter relief that flooded through him as all he could think of was what if there wasn’t. 

What if after everything...after moving in together–after becoming a family–they left the hospital fragmented? What if they never recovered from their loss?

So many thoughts ran through his head as the transducer moved over Dani’s flat stomach, his hand trembling violently, waiting for the doctor to tell them, “I’m sorry…” Only that didn’t happen and the heartbeat was there. It was small but strong just like his partner herself. 

That said, the doctor also told them that these next weeks would be critical as the baby would be the most susceptible to anything that could affect normal growth and Malcolm wondered if this was what he most feared.

“Bright, look!” Dani opened her silky robe and before he could frantically ask what was wrong, he stared down at her hands and he saw it. The tiniest bump protruding from her abdomen. It was only a slight roundness but it was there.

Before he knew what was happening, Malcolm fell to his knees–eye level with her stomach. His palms flat against her stomach where he did feel something.  
_Their child._

Seeing it through a photo and then through an ultrasound monitor was magical but knowing that just beneath his hands was life. He’d been stained and marked by death since birth but that little bump was proof that he _could_ help create life. He didn’t have to be marked by the sins of his birth family. He didn’t have words for how he felt at the moment. 

He couldn’t describe the wonder, the gratitude, the _love_ coursing through him. “Wow…” he breathed, his eyes welling.

“Yeah...I know,” Dani smiled, cupping his face. Her own eyes thickened with tears. 

“We–we have to celebrate...this is amazing…” Malcolm looked up at her, his arms winding around her hips.

“Are you asking me out on a date, Bright?” A small teasing smile lifted her lips but the happiness sparkling in her eyes was enough to blind him.

“I suppose I am. Dani? Will you go out with me?” Malcolm smiled, feeling as though these words were so long overdue.

Dani leaned down, whispering against his lips, “I thought you’d never ask.”

––––––––––––––

It was a strange thing being at work and not looking to her left and seeing her partner. Malcolm was still on administrative leave to help his family and much to her partner’s chagrin, Gil was honoring that.

That said, Dani still missed him. She missed Malcolm’s smirky smiles and the overly excited glow in his nearly colorless eyes when presented with a particularly twisted case. She missed his random lollipop gifts–the one he presented to her like Prince Charming with a glass slipper on their second case together. It was something that stopped and the restarted all at once just as they had. 

Though she didn’t see him, Malcolm still checked in periodically throughout the day. Asking how she was feeling and if she needed him to bring her something–tea, food...a sweater. The side she was seeing of him was sweeter than she ever expected and it must’ve shown on her face as she read her messages because on more than one occasion since she’d gone back to work, JT had jokingly asked when they’d get to meet her “new boyfriend.” 

Dani rolled her eyes and said there was none. Her boyfriend wasn’t new and they already knew him very well–not that they all needed to know that at the moment. She didn’t know when they’d come clean and she knew it would have to be soon as her body was beginning to change and while she didn’t owe anyone an explanation for anything that went on in her life, they were her coworkers–her cohort–and it was only right. 

Though that would come later and the only thing on her mind was this date.

–––––––––––––––

Glancing at the grandfather clock in the corner of his childhood room, Malcolm realized that he had more than enough time. He needed to stop being so anxious. He’d set the reservations and Dani was at home–their home–getting ready. The night was going to be fine. It was going to be better than fine. He was going to give her the night she deserved. 

He’d decided to get ready at his mother’s house. Ainsley’s law firm was only minutes from the house and it just made more sense to shower and dress there before going home to Dani. 

He was lucky as he still had a few suits in the back of the nearly empty closet. He pulled out a black shawl collar one his mother had probably stolen from his closet once upon a time in order to strong arm him into attending some event at the house.

As much as he was looking forward to this date, he couldn’t shake the heaviness that had been his day. His sister’s preliminary hearing was set for next week where the Southern District of New York will attempt to present to a judge why there was enough evidence to formally charge Ainsley with first degree murder. 

Ainsley’s representation told them to prepare for what was in essence a mini-trial. All day, Malcolm had to relive those terrible couple of weeks where Nicholas Endicott had run roughshod over his life–their lives. He remembered his hand trembling when Ainsley’s defense brought up his own connection to Endicott. How the Big Pharma mogul framed him for murder. How it had been believable because Endicott had his ex-girlfriend murdered. 

All he’d been able to do was close his eyes and focus on this morning. Dani’s smile and the little bump beneath his hands. All of those things being discussed in that conference room–that wasn’t him anymore. He’d left that behind. He’d been lost and spiraling. He hadn’t known there was anyone or anything else out there for him.

He wished he could tell everyone that _none_ of that with his ex had been real–she’d been a mistake but he wasn’t the one on trial. His poor choices didn’t change what happened but his good ones might’ve and that was the hardest truth of all. 

Malcolm shook his head, leaving the bedroom. He wouldn’t ruin this night with his angst. 

“Where are _you_ going?” Malcolm turned in the direction of his sister about to ascend the stairs just as he descended as they’d essentially switched places in life. Him running in and out while she was kept under the watchful eye of their mother.

Ainsley looked her brother over. He’d changed out of the charcoal trousers and hunter green shirt he’d worn earlier and into a slim black shawl collar Tom Ford suit, crisp black dress shirt and he was tieless, which he almost never was. His chestnut hair was restyled and his blue eyes were bright–excited even. She wouldn’t be surprised if he went full Bruce Wayne and had a sports car parked outside. After all, she knew about the Maybach he kept in a private parking garage near his building–their mother didn’t though. 

More than that, her brother didn’t look the way he usually did when made to be at the house–annoyed or sullen. He was going out–something else he never did.

“I...have a date,” Malcolm replied, a slip of a smile passing over his lips. 

That explains it, Ainsley thought to herself. The anticipation of potentially getting some, had him so peppy.

Before Ainsley could open her mouth to say, “you?” considering her brother didn’t go on dates and when he did disaster tended to follow, she remembered that her brother didn’t just have a girlfriend–he had a _partner._

His new and current situation had all the trappings of being married but without the paperwork.

Her brother. 

The one who could count his relationships–stable or otherwise on one hand. The one who had been so broken up beyond repair over a mendacious box sleeping freak not super long ago now had a _baby_ on the way.

“You know...conventional wisdom says that you take the girl you like on a date before you get her pregnant,” Ainsley shook her head.

“Yeah...I don’t do conventional.” Malcolm gave her a quick smile before slipping out the side door and into the night.

He could certainly say that again.

–––––––––––––––––––

Dani gave her appearance a once over in the mirror. It had actually been awhile since her last first date and she knew it had been nothing like whatever place Malcolm made reservations at. She also came to the realization that she didn’t actually have that many outfits outside of her cop clothes and she wasn’t sure if she had any fancy dinner with her posh boyfriend type of outfits.

She turned around in the mirror and then once again. She’d settled on a short long sleeved champagne colored satin dress that was belted and camouflaged her stomach. She sighed realizing that the dress–more specifically the plunging neckline–looked a little different on her now than it had when she’d first tried it on.

She was giving significantly more cleavage than normal. It was nothing obscene or anything but it was there–courtesy of her peanut. Dani was resigned to the fact that this would be her new reality–her clothes not fitting the way they should.

“Dani?” she heard Malcolm call and she felt her nerves increase tenfold. He saw her all the time. He saw her in her cop clothes, he saw her without clothes at all but it was a date–a first date–and she wanted to look nice. 

She remembered the first time she wore a dress in front of him. She’d worried if he’d even notice after having her doubts that Malcolm even saw her that way but apparently he had. She hadn’t expected his cartoonishly stunned expression and her own shyness because of it.

She walked out of the bathroom to find Malcolm pristine and perfect as ever in an expensive black suit but this one different and fancier even than ones she’d seen him in previously. He glanced at his watch before he looked up upon her entrance.

Malcolm felt his eyes widen and jaw slacken as he heard Dani emerge from the bathroom, her strappy sky high stilettos that laced up shapely legs that went on for days clicking across the hardwood. He watched her fidgeting with her fingers. Her tense, nervous expression reminded him of the way she’d looked coming out of that dressing room. She’d been nervous then and he didn’t know why as he had no words for the way she looked in that sparkling blood red gown. 

Just like he had no words now.

He looked over her, allowing his eyes to drink in everything he saw. Her tight beige toned dress fell to mid thigh and molded to her frame, highlighting curves he noticed were a little more generous than they had been only a few weeks ago. The low neckline drew his attention to what was underneath–or what _wasn’t_ underneath as it were.

“You look beautiful,” Malcolm said finally once his brain recalibrated, still in a state of awe that this was the woman he not only dated but got to keep. After all, women like Dani he’d only ever had the courage to admire from afar. 

His compliment drew that same demure little smile from the dressing room. The one that made her face light up and himself question everything he thought he knew from that point onward.

“Thanks…” She kissed him softly, before her thumb swiped over his bottom lip, wiping away a trace of the pale nude brown lipstick she wore. Her fox-like eye makeup made her look ever more alluring if that were even possible. “You’re not doing too bad yourself.”

“Well, when in the presence of a goddess, I’ve gotta step it up, don’t you think?” Malcolm replied with a crooked, smirky grin she wanted to kiss right off of him. 

Dani didn’t know how this night would end as Malcolm led her towards the door but if he continued saying such smart things, she knew how it could end.

––––––––––––––––

“So what’s good here?” Dani asked looking over the menu at the incredibly cozy yet incredibly fancy Italian restaurant located in Midtown West. 

She’d been right; this wasn’t like any first date she’d never been on which was apparent the moment Malcolm tossed her the key to a sleek black drop top Mercedes Maybach parked outside the apartment–the result of his “quarter life crisis” as he put it. He’d led her through the dimly lit dining room full of leather and glass to a table nestled in a private alcove of the restaurant.

“I’m not sure,” Malcolm scanned the menu himself, feeling indifferent towards practically everything but that wasn’t unusual for him. Michelin stars made very little difference when it came to his desire to eat.

“You mean this isn’t the place you go to romance all your dates?” Dani asked with raised brows, taking a sip of sparkling lemon infused water. 

“Um...no,” Malcolm admitted, wondering how much to say. “Not a lot of dates. Not a lot of romance. My last first date was at a pool hall actually…” He tried not to think back to what a sham that date with his ex had been and how it turned out to be a microcosm for their entire relationship.

Dani’s expertly made up eyes slid from the plate of insalata di mare the waiter just placed on the table to focus on him, her nude painted lip curling slightly, “A what?”

“Again, not a lot of romance…” Malcolm mumbled, trying not to squirm in his seat at Dani looking at him the way she had when they first met like he’d suddenly sprouted feathers like Sunshine. “In the spirit of full disclosure, this isn’t really a thing for me. I don’t really wine and dine–or water and dine–in this case but I guess…I just wanted to impress you…” he finished, relaxing when the look in her dark eyes grew softer and more familiar.

“Really?” Dani tilted her head, a bit of skepticism coloring her words before forking a piece of calamari. The candlelight catching on her dangly gold earrings.

“Yeah...I mean, even when we’d only just met, I wanted to impress you.” Malcolm looked down, his fingers lightly tracing the blue veins on the inside of her wrist. That was true as the beautiful brunette sitting across the table had seen through him almost instantly. His charms had never worked on her and he’d done nothing but second guess himself because of it, “I mean, if I thought it would help my cause, I would’ve flown you to Venice for Italian food instead of taking you here.”

“Well, there’s always the second date,” Dani replied as he found the courage to meet her eyes again. Her little smile reflected through her eyes. 

––––––––––––––––––

“You know, it just occurred to me that we’re going to have to construct a nursery,” Malcolm said over the rim of his wine glass.

“Well, I think the baby does need somewhere to sleep,” Dani smiled at the wonder in her partner’s face. 

Those flashes of childlike innocence always made her feel something. Even at the beginning when she wasn’t looking to get involved with the strange former FBI Special Agent, finding him more trouble than he was worth...she had those thoughts of if not me, then who? To her surprise, taking care of Malcolm didn’t feel like a chore. It never had.

“I know! But like what goes in a nursery?” Malcolm leaned in excitedly, ignoring the steaming plate of Spigola and charred cabbage placed in front of him that seriously looked amazing. She grinned as he seemingly read her mind and pushed his plate toward her. “A crib obviously but what else?”

Stealing a bit of pan-seared bass off his plate, she answered, “Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t really know anything about babies. I’m learning everything too.”

“Seriously?” Malcolm’s brows furrowed in disbelief.

“Why is that so surprising?” Dani laughed as Malcolm looked like she’d just told him she did backflips for fun. 

“I mean, I…” Malcolm chuckled a bit himself, growing bashful all of a sudden. “It’s just...you’re so nurturing. I just assumed you’d just kind of know…” 

That was one of the things that had thrown him off once he got to truly know his partner. Dani wasn’t intriguingly prickly as he’d thought initially. She was sweet and soft. Caring for people came naturally to her and he wasn’t used to it and certainly not the way it made him feel. 

Moreover, Malcolm remembered their first official case as unofficial partners. She’d followed his hunch about their family annihilator even when Gil had been skeptical. The killer had planned to poison himself as well as his wife and young daughter. He thought back to seeing Dani holding the scared, bewildered little girl’s head to her chest. He doubted she even realized what she was doing then but thinking back on it...motherhood wasn’t a stretch for her.

“I...um…thank you…” Dani said finally, grateful the dimly lit room hid the blush in her cheeks. No one had ever called her that before but it felt nice to hear, especially from the father of her child who already seemed to be under the impression that she’d be good at this. 

“Of course,” Malcolm said softly, warmth illuminating his frost blue eyes. “Since neither of us know much about nurseries, I think we can both agree that he’s gonna need more than one outfit.”

“ _He?_ ” Dani echoed with a peaked brow.

“He or she,” Malcolm amended with a dimpled smile.

“You tipped your hand. You want a boy, don’t you?” Dani posited, narrowing her eyes as she took a bite of gnocchetti, trying not to sigh at how good it was.

“No, I’m not particular. I just want him or her to be healthy. That’s all that matters to me.” Malcolm raised his hands in surrender, laughing. “Whatever you have cooking in there, I will love all the same.”

"Bright…” Dani pressed, genuinely curious if he was banking on a son. She’d never actually thought about it. It was just strange to think that there was _someone_ growing inside of her. Though the idea of a miniature Malcolm with his bright eyes and wide smile, it made her...soft.

“What? Gil’s the one who said it and Gil is always right,” Malcolm smiled, the warmth from the candlelight competing with the warmth in his frost blue eyes.

Before Dani could respond to that, not totally buying that was Gil who planted that seed in his head, her phone buzzed with their boss’s name flashing across the screen. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“I can’t either...I’m actually guaranteed a second date,” Malcolm said with absolutely zero irony. 

“No, Bright. Look at your phone,” Dani rolled her eyes as there would’ve been a much easier way to secure a date than putting a _baby_ inside of her but there was logic and then there was _Bright logic._

Malcolm did as he was told only to see a text from Gil. Their boss needed them on the Lower East Side and Malcolm felt himself deflate more by the second. This date had only lasted 45 minutes yet it had been the best date he’d ever had and now it was over.

The romantic night he’d planned would be spent at a crime scene and at the precinct. It would be like all the other unremarkable nights they’d spent together toiling away over case files and CSU pictures. 

No matter what he did and how hard he tried, Malcolm could never do better.

–––––––––––––––––––––

Gil looked up to see Malcolm and Dani making their way over to their crime scene. He watched Malcolm hold the caution tape for Dani to duck underneath it. Malcolm was on administrative leave and he was under strict orders from Jessica to leave her son out of things at least until everything for them became more settled but at this late hour, Gil needed the profiler’s big brain as it was the best resource they had.

That said, Gil felt a little guilty as it seemed he’d interrupted what appeared to the two of them out on the town. Dani was uncharacteristically dressed up with her hair pinned up and teetering on heels far too high for an alleyway and Malcolm was characteristically dressed up but in a black suit more appropriate for playing Blackjack in Monte Carlo than where they were.

Though Gil was sorry he had to call them in, he was pleased that it seemed Malcolm was finally being a gentleman.

“What do we got?” Dani squatted down next to the body of a man whose limbs were spread out and grotesquely bent in odd angles, already in work mode. She heard Malcolm’s breath hitch at her doing something only slightly physical.

“Male vic, 46, cause of death is blunt force trauma,” Edrisa said from behind her camera, stretching like Annie Leibovitz would to get a better angle of her subject for Vanity Fair. The medical examiner looked up, “Wow, Dani, you look great. Hot date?”

“Something like that…” Dani answered obliquely, pulling her notepad out of her clutch and thankful that she’d thought to be prepared for something like this. She didn’t notice Malcolm across from her shoving his hands in his pockets and ducking his head, trying not to blush.

“You’re also glowing!” The Medical Examiner replied, awkwardly peering at her face. Dani gave her a tight-lipped smile. 

“The way his limbs are bent like this…” Dani started, trying desperately to change the subject.

“45 degree angle,” Malcolm supplied, gratefully reading her mind as he seemingly was always able to do these days. “If my math is right.”

“Right you are!” Edrisa piped up in her typically overeager fashion.

“And from the bruising around the joints, the trauma to the limbs was likely done antemortem,” Dani said, still trying to ignore the awkwardness that threatened to come spilling out into the open.

“Hey! I was–" 

Dani answered Edrisa’s protests with an annoyed snarl though those protests died instantly as Malcolm moved closer and his suit jacket came over her shoulders. Dani unconsciously pulled it tighter, the warmth from him and his spicy and earthy cologne making her smile a little too wide as she whispered her thanks. Malcolm nodded, his smile in his eyes as his fingers trailed down her back while she stood back up. 

Gil’s eyes narrowed as Malcolm’s hand came dangerously close to Dani’s backside. He cleared his throat sending Malcolm a clear warning which the profiler received loud and clear as he quickly pulled his hand away putting it safely back in his pocket.

"Uh...what’s going on here?” JT looked between Malcolm and Dani, the two of them acting weirder around each other than normal. Their normal was pretty weird from their wordless communication skills to that moment after Bright’s arrest. He remembered reminding them that sexual tension conversations were better left outside the conference room. Who knows, maybe they _did_ talk after all.

The two of them looked to each other then to their team. JT looking at them suspiciously, Edrisa gawking at them and Gil looking amused. 

“Nothing,” Malcolm and Dani replied in unison.

––––––––––––––––––––

“What are we even looking for?” Dani asked more rhetorically than anything as she sat on the conference room table, the case files spread over her lap.

Gil and JT stayed at the scene to canvas the area and she and Malcolm were sent to the precinct to begin working on the profile.

“Bright?” Malcolm didn’t appear to have heard her. He stood at the board, staring at the floor. He was unhappy, she could tell. He looked at her finally, misery clouding his pale eyes. A strange sight considering her partner always looked so happy to be here–a little too happy most times.

“I’m sorry, Dani,” Malcolm mumbled, swallowing heavily. 

“For what?” She was genuinely confused as he had nothing to be sorry about.

“When I told you I don’t really do the whole date thing, I don’t but I really wanted to for you. I mean, I’ve given you half-assed friendship and then partnership but I wanted to get it right this time. I make promises to you and I never keep them...I disappoint you.” Malcolm finished bitterly, barely able to continue looking at her.

“Come here,” Dani implored him, hating how he beat himself up over something that wasn’t his fault. Murder waited for no one, she thought he would’ve known that better than anyone. “I had a really nice time tonight.”

“You don’t have to spare my feelings,” Malcolm replied quietly, unwilling to believe that it had been a really great first date.

“You know I wouldn’t lie to you and I have no reason to. The food was amazing and the company was even better.” She smiled watching him peek up at her through his ridiculously long lashes. “Whether it’s here or at home or a fancy restaurant, I like spending time with you.”

Malcolm looked at her–he really looked at her. Dani’s statement was simple enough but it meant everything to him. He couldn’t even tell her or even articulate how it felt to hear that. Nobody liked spending time with him. Not the ticking time bomb who’d already earned everyone’s judgment as scary and unstable before he’d even opened his mouth. Not the one who had to beg for affection he knew he wouldn’t get.

“You’re too good to me,” Malcolm whispered, his hand going to the low bun at the base of her neck, gently tipping her head back. He meant it with everything within him.

Dani's dark eyes sparkled as brightly as the City skyline, making him wonder how on earth he’d managed to find someone like her and thanking whatever powers that be who allowed it so. 

“You give me another date as good as the first and we'll be even. Though not at a pool hall because unlike what you’re used to, I’m not cheap.”

“Oh?” Malcolm smirked, moving closer. That caramel, orange blossom perfume she wore driving him crazy.

Dani’s brows arched in a sort of challenge that made him smile wider, “I’m _very_ expensive.” 

Malcolm licked his lips at the sound of her voice going husky, wanting her accent on his tongue, “The best things in life are.”

He closed the distance and kissed her slowly. The intensity reached a fever pitch as she opened up and allowed him access, he needed no further invitation to deepen the kiss. Breathing into her lungs, he couldn’t imagine anything better as kissing Dani was a sort of heaven someone like him shouldn’t be allowed. Her tongue smooth and graceful over his, making him wish they were at home in bed or on the couch or even the _kitchen counter_ as he leaned into her. Her fingers finding their way inside the waistband of his trousers.

 _“Dani’s hot date is Bright?!”_ A screech that could’ve only belonged to the high-strung Medical Examiner, rupturing the moment entirely. They both turned to the doorway where Gil and JT looked unimpressed and Edrisa’s cheeks flamed in shock, nearly dropping her report on the floor.

“I’m surprised it took this long,” JT muttered, brushing by the gobsmacked medical examiner and dropping his notepad on the table, taking a seat.

“We have a job to do,” Gil reminded all of them sternly, ushering Edrisa out of the door before she could ask more intrusive questions, taking his customary place at the head of the table. “I thought I told you to start finding our methodology.” Gil looked at Malcolm, crossing his arms.

“I was…” Malcolm wiped Dani’s lipstick off his mouth as discreetly as he could before going back to the board.

“You won’t find it down Powell’s throat, bro,” JT chimed in dryly. Dani rolled her eyes, hoping her face wasn’t as red as it felt. 

“Will I have to separate you two or can you act like professionals?” Gil turned towards Malcolm whose attention was fixated on Dani’s crossed, bare legs from on top the table. “Bright!”

“Right...professional, totally.” Malcolm’s head snapped up as Dani fought off a smile. Gil prayed silently for a patience he would surely need.

–––––––––––––––––––

It was nearly 1am by the time they got back to Noho after Gil told them they could pack up for the night and come back tomorrow with fresh eyes. They’d likely be up in a few hours heading back to work and Malcolm didn’t mind as work was a welcome distraction from his sister’s impending hearing in a few days.

He placed the paper bag that contained their barely touched dinner and the panna cotta and cioccolato desserts they’d gotten to go, on the kitchen island, their date likely continuing on the couch with reruns of _The Office_ on Netflix.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Malcolm took off his cufflinks, placing them on the nightstand. He watched Dani slip out of her heels before going over to the foot of the bed to retrieve her slippers. His eyes followed her as she moved around the bedroom in her little dress, finally able to appreciate his gorgeous partner in earnest. Moments like this Malcolm still couldn’t believe that he wasn’t dreaming when for the longest all he had were stolen looks and quick glances.

“Did I tell you how insanely amazing you look tonight?” Malcolm asked as he wrapped his arms around her hips, loosening the belt on her dress when she came near, removing her earrings and placing them next to his cufflinks.

“You did,” Dani replied, a little smirk playing at the corner of her lips. “And believe it or not...it fit way better when I bought it.”

“Somehow I doubt that,” Malcolm shamelessly stared at her admittedly larger chest as his hands roamed even lower from her hips, feeling her up. Dani rolled her eyes playfully as that was about as on brand as it got for her partner, “Perhaps...words won’t suffice...maybe I should _show_ you.”

Leaning over him, Dani straddled his lap, tipping his chin up to meet her, “I dunno...I like hearing these smart things you’ve been saying lately.”

Heated excitement sparked in Malcolm’s pale eyes the same way it did the last time she straddled him–he gave himself away _again_ , “Hmm...well, I can say that in this dress, you have exceeded all of my expectations.” 

Dani leaned in further, kissing him softly, “You’re getting warmer…” she formed the words against his lips.

Malcolm hummed, licking his lips slowly, the tip of his tongue flicking out and catching her lips in their closeness, “And...I am so lucky that I’m with the girl of my dreams…”

 _The girl of his dreams...the girl he knew for months while he dated someone else_ , a cruel voice whispered in her mind, effectively throwing cold water over the warm haze that had settled over her while in his arms. 

“Actually...I’m gonna go get undressed,” Dani said suddenly as Malcolm blinked at her in a stupor. He thought he was well on his way to doing that. “I’m hungry…”

She scooted off his lap quickly and he stood, following her, “Wait, Dani...I... _what just happened?_ ”

“Nothing,” she answered flatly, pulling her pajamas out of the drawer–not his that she liked to sleep in. He knew that but she was mad and for the life of him, he didn’t know why.

Before he could respond, she closed the bathroom door without another word. Malcolm paced outside the door. He was really worried he’d somehow made things worse seemingly without doing anything at all but when things went wrong he was _always_ to blame.

Here would be where he’d call upon his serious relationship experience–if he had any. Malcolm sighed heavily, raking his hand through his hair, wondering how he could fix this.

Minutes later Dani padded out of the bathroom in a soft looking dark teal colored pajama set and fresh faced, tossing her dress in the hamper for the dry cleaners and heading toward the kitchen–all without sparing him a second glance.

“Angel, please...don’t shut me out. You’re mad and I wanna know why,” he reached out, catching her hand before she busied herself with the takeout boxes of food on the island.

“Would we even be together if your girlfriend didn’t die?” Dani asked bluntly, hurt evident in her dark eyes. The girl of his dreams comment must’ve set her off, Malcolm realized after a while. She either thought he was being disingenuous or he was lying. He hadn’t been doing either. When he closed his eyes and pictured his ideal partner–the one person on earth best suited for him and all he entailed–it was Dani. _Always_ Dani. _Only_ Dani.

Her honest question took him by surprise and broke his heart. He knew what she thought and he knew he was entirely complicit in it. He didn’t know what to say–he was never known to be short of words until he saw his partner looking at him, her pretty face clouded with betrayal and pain. 

“That answers my question.” Dani nodded curtly before turning her attention back to the boxes on the counter. Her cold shoulder was evident and he couldn’t stand it. He was caught between wanting to beg her forgiveness and whine to her like a child–neither of which was likely to get him anywhere.

“No, Angel, it doesn’t,” Malcolm sighed, reaching for her hand once more, wanting her to face him, deciding on honesty. “My ex… she didn’t actually want to be with me. She never did. She pretended just to find out what happened to her sister–the reason I went to Connecticut–I got played. She’d gotten what she wanted from me and she left just like that and all I received was a voicemail that was little more than ‘have a nice life’ and that was two weeks before she died.”

Dani tilted her head and he didn’t know how she was taking this but she deserved to know the entire unvarnished truth, “I wanted to be wanted so badly and I was gutted, knowing it was all pretend. When I found out, I felt the walls cave in because it just reinforced that I was forever undeserving of anyone’s affection or attention but you called me then. I was falling apart completely but seeing your name across the screen and your face in my mind...it didn’t matter so much anymore.”

“I don’t understand what you’re telling me, Bright.” Dani said finally as something vulnerable and exposed reflected through her dark eyes. He was so bad at articulating his feelings but he was trying to tell her everything as it happened. He was trying to tell her how much she meant to him. How she did things to and for him no one in life ever had. 

Malcolm took an unsteady breath, “What I’m trying to say is that you’re the only one who has ever cut through the noise–the static in my head and that was terrifying because people don’t have that effect on me and you made me feel _things._ Dangerous things because you made me feel loved and cared for. That scared me because I thought I was taking your...goodness...the wrong way. I couldn’t help but think I was latching onto the kindness you’d show to anyone and I couldn’t afford to do that because I was growing attached...” 

As much as Malcolm wanted to be Dani’s friend then and as nice as she was to him–taking care of him and looking after him, he never saw himself as special to her. He most often felt like a lost puppy who followed her home. “I couldn’t risk getting hurt–thinking I was more to you than I was and so I went to the next available option. It was low stakes and easy...I didn’t have to think too much or try too hard.”

Dani chewed on her lip, not saying anything. He didn’t know if she believed him and he remembered practically begging her to do so but he didn’t get the benefit of the doubt anymore, he was realistic enough to admit that. He hadn’t earned it but he had to be as honest as he could. 

Malcolm was pleading with her–he heard it in his voice but he didn’t care, “I don’t want you to think that first night here between us was anything less than the most beautiful thing I’ve ever felt.” Those moments with his ex felt cold, lonely and impersonal compared to how it felt to be intimate with Dani. He didn’t feel the emptiness and the shame of momentary satisfaction because after the fact, Dani let him rest in her arms–something he’d never gotten but more than that, when the sun rose the next morning, he knew she’d still love him,“I didn’t do it because I was sad or lonely...I did it because I wanted to be with you. I couldn’t stand just being your partner anymore. I needed more than that.”

Dani opened her mouth to speak but no words came. It didn’t appear she knew what to say. 

“You don’t have to believe me but I hope to do so much better for you where one day you will,” Malcolm said, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. He didn’t want there to be any ambiguity about how he felt–how he’d always felt about her. He said he loved her like crazy but truthfully it was much more pitiful than that and if he had to spend his entire life proving it then he would gladly–willingly.

“It’s not that I don’t want to believe you...it’s just hard sometimes. I mean, I was there you know…it feels like…” Dani trailed off and he understood especially considering the terrible overlap and the way he’d treated her in the past. How he’d acted like a grieving widower over a craven liar but that had been a farce and he knew it–Dani didn’t.

Dani wasn’t a second choice. Malcolm just hadn’t realized then that she was a choice at all. Dani existed in that place for him between sleep and awake–that place where his demons and his doubts didn’t. That place had never been reality and in his mind then, neither was Dani.

“Dani...you have a place in my heart no one else ever could. That became true the first time you brought me home–only I’ve never been so good at following my heart.” He clasped her hand in both of his, lightly kissing her fingers, holding it against his chest. Every beat of a heart that shattered over and over again beat for her alone.

Dani stared at her partner, his ghostly blue eyes that had always seen too much did what his words didn’t–they begged her to believe him. “I...I hope you never forget how much I love you,” she said softly. 

“I could never because you’re the only one who ever has,” Malcolm replied equally as soft as his hands slowly traveled up her arms, giving her the opportunity to pull away if she chose to. He was relieved when she didn’t as he pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly. He wished all the hell he’d given her could be erased by touch alone but it couldn’t, “I love you, Dani Powell. I love you desperately...hopelessly. I love you like crazy.”

This wasn’t the end and he had so much ground to cover–to make up–but unlike the day in the morgue, Malcolm felt like he could.

It was finally time to start doing better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for supporting this story. @Florexandra has been an amazing writing partner and brainstormer and I hope you all love this update as much as we do. Also the song mentioned in this chapter is “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran and Beyoncé


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Dani stirred as she reached out for Malcolm only to find his side of the bed empty. She took a deep breath as she sat up. She was sure he had come to bed at some point during the night. 

Maybe he was mad with her, after all, their conversation last night hadn’t been pleasant. She blamed herself as she’d gotten angry with him all at once because she just couldn’t let go of the past, thinking that he’d settled because she was all he had left.

He’d been really great to her but Dani couldn’t help but think he’d be here being great to that other girl if she hadn’t washed up ashore–if he truly had a choice. Malcolm had clearly and honestly told her she’d been wrong about that–that his heart had believed in them even if his head couldn’t. 

He’d been trying to protect himself from  _ her _ despite that being something she ever thought he’d feel the need to do. By not sleeping beside her, maybe Malcolm was upset he had to explain himself. After all, she didn’t tell him as much as she could’ve. She’d wrongfully assumed her actions spoke for themselves.

She felt her breath shake and her eyes sting the slightest bit–knowing he was probably giving her the same cold shoulder she’d given him–before she caught a whiff of something in the air.

The smell of something sweet. She also heard Amy Winehouse’s melodic growl filtering through the speakers. A stripped down version of  _ Valerie _ –a song they both loved, serenading them.

She turned her head and found Malcolm in the kitchen, making… something. 

She didn’t know where he was going but he was already dressed in a crisp light blue dress shirt, skinny gray and blue checked tie and tailored navy suit pants. His chestnut hair was slicked back to perfection and he looked ready to start the day.

She placed the blanket aside and carefully walked over to the kitchen after washing up, taking a little longer than necessary, while trying to rehearse what she’d say to him if he was angry with her.

Malcolm looked to be in high spirits seeing as that he smiled as soon as he saw her.

“Morning!” His dimples appeared in his smile as he stacked breakfast on a plate, “How’d you sleep?”

Dani tilted her head, feeling the strongest sense of deja vu considering those were the exact same words he’d spoken to her when she’d woken up at his counter after looking after him when that kilo of coke exploded in his face,“You’re making pancakes?”

“I am and I hope you’re hungry because I found a great recipe for coconut pancakes with maple ricotta from one of your books.” He tapped the cover of an Ina Garten book for emphasis before pushing the plate over to her as she sat down, “Also added some sliced strawberries because you’ve been eating them by the boatload lately. I mean, I watched you put them on a sandwich the other day.”

She gave him a hesitant look as Malcolm was just as good natured and almost  _ chipper _ as he was that same morning after she punched him in the shower, knocking him out, “You’re not…upset with me?”

“Why would I be?” The profiler furrowed his brows for a moment before he smirked, “Because there wasn’t business last night? Come on, give me a little credit.” He gave the plate of pancakes a light push towards her once more, “This is really to make up for the fact that our date got cut short last night.”

“No…I meant...” She gave an anxious look as she placed her arms on the counter and fiddled with her fingers, “I meant about last night.”

Malcolm’s smile faltered slightly before he leaned over the counter, his elbows resting on the granite, his hand inches from hers, “I can’t say that I loved hearing it but I think you needed to say it… and I  _ needed _ to hear it.”

Dani still kept her eyes glued to her hands, unable to look into his eyes, noticing how his fingers hadn’t reached for hers quite yet, especially since he _always_ held her hand. Even when they weren’t getting along and spent more time shouting at each other in front of the team and being distrustful, he still held her hand, “I still don’t like arguing with you.”

“Well, if it helps,” Malcolm started, choosing his words carefully, “I didn’t think that was an argument. You told me how I made you feel and even though it hurts… I’m glad you  _ did  _ tell me because you also told me that I needed to be honest with you and I want you to be honest with me… even if it’s something I might not want to hear.”

Dani wrinkled her nose, “So you’re not mad?”

“Why would I be mad?” Malcolm said as his fingers inched towards hers, he didn’t know why he felt so hesitant to reach for her. Perhaps, it was the same reason he hadn’t slept beside her. A terrible mix of shame and guilt kept him from feeling like he deserved to, “Dani, if you’re hurting for whatever reason, I want to know why. Just because I didn’t  _ mean  _ to hurt you doesn’t change the fact that I did.”

Dani looked at him, biting her lip for a moment, “I don’t want you to think that I’m just…staying mad at you but it’s just that at the time, I did feel...” a humourless chuckle escaped her chest, “little... _ rejected _ .”

Malcolm blinked as his eyes widened the slightest bit. _ She thought… I rejected her?  _ He thought back to how he’d been mired in thoughts that it was only him with something to lose. Thoughts of how crushing it would be if he’d read her wrong and she attempted to let him down easy. If he risked it all only to end up alone.

Dani didn’t notice as her eyes fell to the plate of pancakes he had so lovingly made for her. Malcolm was trying, he really was but it still didn’t stop her from digging up the past as much as she didn’t want to, “When you promised you’d do better that time…I thought you would and then you went to someone else. I didn’t know what to think or if maybe you’d changed your mind about me… and I didn’t even know what I did wrong.”

Malcolm finally took her hand in his because he had to, he couldn’t do anything else, “You didn’t do anything wrong Dani… it was all me and my own stupidity for never actually taking a chance on us. I swear, if I knew I was hurting you… I wouldn’t have. I could never willingly hurt you. I always thought  _ you _ would reject  _ me _ .”

“I...um...thank you for telling me but it’s just that...” Dani hesitated as she let her fingers intertwine with his before scrunching her nose and tilting her head a little, “Well, you never actually made a move.”

“Actually I, uh… I kinda did...” Malcolm looked down sheepishly, feeling more belated confessions ready to spill out into the open, “When I told you you’re the one I like talking to...I was hoping you’d see that I  _ like you _ like you and I thought you understood that but just wasn’t interested. I thought you didn’t see me that way and you just wanted to be partners.”

“That...” Dani started, trying to organize her thoughts, “Both makes sense and doesn’t because… you were apologizing. At the time, I just assumed that you wanted me to know that you  _ wanted _ to talk to me and you took being friends seriously. I just assumed you were trying to say that you weren’t used to being able to share things with  _ friends _ .”

“No...” Malcolm sighed, realizing how much of a mess he’d made of things. He’d let the static in his head consume him during a time that he’d also made a mess of. He’d been battling his feelings for Dani but had also been deathly afraid of being rejected by her. He knew he had to risk himself but he hadn’t been willing to risk enough and he cut off the opportunity to even allow Dani to make that choice, “I wanted you to take  _ me _ seriously as more. I wanted to show you that it matters how you feel about me and I’m admittedly not great at apologies but I wanted you to see that I was trying for  _ you _ .”

“I’m only sorry that we couldn’t seem to actually talk to each other,” Dani sighed, wishing she would’ve known what he had been trying to tell her. Maybe she could’ve met him halfway? Maybe they would’ve never fallen out? Maybe those weeks following wouldn’t have been so lonely?

“Me too.” Malcolm nodded, almost reading her mind and knowing how she wished she would have somehow been in his mind to know what he wanted from her despite him never vocalizing it or doing much more than being fickle and giving her mixed signals. There was nothing  _ she _ could’ve done, it was  _ him  _ who didn’t do enough, “But so much was at stake… I can only speak for myself but my usual… confidence… never seemed to hold up when it came to you. I couldn’t put myself out there.”

“What about  _ us _ made it so hard?” She questioned with a small but genuine laugh, “I know we’re different in lots of obvious ways but… I thought we were the same too...”

“I wish I could tell you that I have it all figured out and that every decision I make is perfectly reasonable but that wouldn’t be the truth. It was hard because I know you so well and you know me...” Malcolm looked down at their hands, gaining comfort just from the familiarity of her hand in his, wondering how he almost let this comfort he now couldn’t do without almost slip through his fingers, “If I were to take that risk and you didn’t feel the same… nothing would be as it was. I’d lose the only real friend I have or if by some miracle you did feel the same way,” He let out his own cheerless chuckle, “You know me so well… you’ve seen everything, my scars, my ugliness, my dysfunction and you’d… leave and I couldn’t risk that either.”

“Bright,” Dani’s mouth curved into a small smile, “According to what you just said, I’ve seen it all… so if I choose to be with you, knowing your struggle...why would I leave?”

“Because everyone leaves...” Malcolm smiled a little bitterly unable to look into her eyes. He thought of how he let himself be hurt over and over again because at least there was something about him his ex had liked enough to give him the kind of attention and physical affection when no one else would, only for that to have been a lie from the start. It stung knowing he could’ve been a little braver without getting hurt at all, “I’m always too much and not enough all at once and people don’t even have to get to know me–the real–me to figure that out.”

Dani gently tugged on his hand, guiding him around the countertop towards her side, “I already promised you I wouldn’t leave...” She stood and pulled him into a hug, gently pressing their foreheads together, “Or does the thought of business with me take up so much room, you just forget everything else?” She grinned a bit, trying to lighten the mood now that everything had been put out in the open. 

“I haven’t forgotten anything.” Malcolm lips quirked into a tiny smile, “If I knew I could have  _ this _ , I would’ve never looked elsewhere and if I’m being honest, I wanted to be distracted from being sad far more than I wanted a real relationship.” His hands ran up her arms and held her close as her arms wrapped around his waist, “I wasn’t ready for someone I could give my all to and I knew you’d deserve nothing less.”

Dani pulled back slightly and gave a soft smirk, “Well, that's a compliment I think I can take.”

He rested his forehead against hers once again, “It’s true… you’re the best thing to ever happen to me and I knew I’d have to give my best in return. I wasn’t ready then but I am now…and I wanna be the best thing to ever happen to you, even if I’m not quite it right now.”

“The fact that you’re trying is enough for me,” Dani smiled, the first one she truly felt this morning. 

The two of them were a work and progress but if she wanted it easy, her heart wouldn’t have been captured by the complicated, often confusing but beautiful man before her.

“I really am sorry.” Malcolm said, looking into her beautiful brown eyes, trying to memorize every detail about them down to the way her thick black eyelashes flicked upwards to the way light and stars and everything that guided him home shined through them, “I know I apologize to you a lot but I wish you never had to doubt how I feel about you. I’m really lucky to have you in my life and I wish I had let you know that.”

“Thank you.” Dani smiled as her arms tightened around his waist, “It feels… good to know that I really was wanted… I can’t remember the last time I felt that.”

Malcolm felt his heart break at the idea of someone as amazing as Dani not feeling wanted. He honestly could relate and he vowed to himself that he’d never let her go a single day without knowing just how wanted she was, “Of course you’re wanted… you’re needed–you’re  _ loved _ .”

With that, she leaned in and pressed her lips against his, kissing him slowly and deeply. She wanted him to feel what his honesty meant to her. Malcolm’s arm wrapped around her shoulders as his other hand cupped the back of her head before they pulled back, doing nothing but holding the other.

They could finally leave the past behind and walk into the future…together this time.

–––––––––––––––

One of the negatives of being pregnant was that Dani felt tired even when she had gotten a good night’s sleep. She knew Gil hadn’t told anyone about the baby yet and she was glad for that. She didn’t want to give anyone any reason to treat her differently.

Malcolm had left early that morning before she woke up. She did find a text he sent her soon after he left saying he had “court stuff” but he loved her and would see her later in the day.

She had been feeling a little groggy since she woke up and thankfully, they had only been doing paperwork all day. She was still able to be out in the field but she had been feeling more worn down and tired. It just wasn’t a busy day because the team had been waiting to hear back from Edrisa in the morgue and so far, they had no leads for their new case.

She was pretty much left to her own devices. It was hard to focus when she felt like there wasn’t much she could do. She just felt restless. She felt tired and uncomfortable all at once.

She considered making some tea for herself but she just couldn’t be bothered.

Dani looked through the victim’s files when a gentle hand was placed on her back and a bag of takeout was placed in front of her. She lit up as she found a clear blue gaze smiling down at her, “You are a Godsend.”

“Thought you might need it.” Malcolm’s smile only grew as he kissed her softly, his eyes laced with concern, “You look exhausted.”

“A little...” She gently tugged on the lapels of his navy windowpane suit to get him to sit next to her, “But I don’t think anyone’s noticed.”

“I noticed... ” He studied her carefully, only growing more worried, his brows furrowing. “Are you feeling okay? Are you in pain at all? Should I call the doctor?”

“Bright, I’m fine,” She gently grabbed his chin, hoping to steer him from the impending worry spiral he was about to go down. Malcolm had been mostly keeping it together but she noticed how his keen and hawkish profiler’s gaze followed her every movement, checking if she were uncomfortable or in pain the moment she started showing. “I think slight fatigue is to be expected when your body’s busy growing a whole human.”

He smiled a bit as he put a hand on her stomach without thinking, “But it is  _ just _ slight fatigue? You would tell me if you’re not feeling okay, right?”

Dani’s hands cupped his face as she gave him a soft kiss before her hands quickly moved to take his hands in hers, “I promise you that if I’m not feeling well, I’d tell you.”

“Are you sure because-”

“Malcolm, I’m  _ pregnant _ . If something felt wrong, I’d tell you.”

“Pregnant?” JT’s voice broke the air of privacy between Malcolm and Dani, causing them to whip their heads around to find their team staring at them.

JT with his raised eyebrow, Edrisa’s mouth hanging open wide enough to catch flies, and Gil looking a little too amused with the situation, “You wanna tell us why you’re here right now, Bright?”

Malcolm opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water before he was able to find his voice, trying and failing to affect smoothness, “I-I was actually just dropping in...”

“Clearly you did a little more than that...” JT remarked dryly, his eyebrow still raised as a smirk formed on his face, “Did we just hear your conversation right?” 

“That… depends on what you heard...” Malcolm hedged, suddenly realizing his hand had absently found its way to Dani’s stomach, rubbing it gently. Everyone was staring at his hand doing something he did so often when they were alone yet he didn’t want to make a show of awkwardly pulling it away.

“You two are having a... _ baby _ ?” Edrisa blurted out, her eyes bugging out of her head as JT continued to look at them with dry interest.

Dani took a deep breath, “Yes… Bright and I are having a baby.”

“How?!” The medical examiner practically screeched. 

“Unprotected sex. And on the first time. ” Dani’s deadpanned voice almost made Malcolm burst out with laughter, despite her bluntness making his cheeks heat, “You can blame Bright’s stamina and lack of self control.”

Though as Edrisa looked at the pretty brunette who wore her typical look of annoyance and boredom, evidence of pregnancy was quite obvious. Dani’s olive skin was more luminous, her angular face was a bit rounder and her Pantene commercial worthy mane looked fuller and had grown quite a bit past her shoulders in a very short period of time. 

The physical changes some women undergo during pregnancy could make them appear more attractive and while the science didn’t back that up–it was obvious that it was that way for Dani which seemed a little unfair, considering the detective looked like a Bond girl ordinarily. Edrisa guessed after a minute that it was little wonder that two insanely attractive people such as Bright and Dani found their way together.

Malcolm felt heat creeping up his neck as he smirked a little, “Stamina?”

Dani playfully narrowed her eyes at him. “Okay!” Gil exclaimed trying to erase that word from lingering in the air before she could offer up another sassy reply that  _ no one  _ outside of Malcolm should hear, “Okay, now that we’ve gotten it all cleared up that Dani and Bright are, in fact, having a baby… we can all get back to doing our  _ jobs _ .” He gave Malcolm a pointed look, “And Bright can get back to wherever he’s missing from.”

“I really just came by to drop off some food for Dani,” Malcolm cleared his throat, “Now that it’s out in the open, you can all understand why.”

Even after Malcolm left and looking all too happy to do so, Dani felt as though everyone was staring at her or trying to see her bump through her black wrap blouse. She was at a point where her pregnancy wasn’t noticeable by any means but could be seen if one looked for it. She crossed her arms and glared at anyone she felt was staring for too long–which was everyone outside of Gil who had known for months.

She  _ did not _ like the idea of being treated like she was fragile and delicate. Even though she was overjoyed at the prospect of starting a family–being family with Malcolm, she was reminded of how people treated her after she first got clean. 

Fortunately, the main difference this time was that she wasn’t alone. She did have Malcolm by her side through all this but having what she felt was negative attention is what bothered her. She honestly didn’t mind people knowing now because she was proud of what they’d done together. She was proud of her peanut, especially not knowing at one point if she’d even be able to meet her baby.

Dani just didn’t want people to forget who  _ she _ was–capable and formidable– and assume she’d turned into someone else. 

That pregnant girl.

–––––––––––––––

Fortunately for Malcolm, the hearing with the lawyers didn’t take as long as he thought it would–though that likely wasn’t a good thing for his sister. 

Dani’s shift would be ending soon and the two of them would probably reach the apartment around the same time. As much as he wanted to do everything he could to help Ainsley, he was glad to be able to look forward to going home. It was nice knowing that home was actually  _ home. _

He stopped for a moment outside the courthouse for a moment to loosen his tie and check messages. 

“Oh, Malcolm!” 

His jaw flexed as he turned to see his mother exiting the courthouse, her heels clicking in time, “I’m glad I caught you before you left.”

Malcolm forced a tight smile, “What can I do for you Mother?”

“It’s been so long since we’ve had you at dinner,” Jessica’s smile felt a little too friendly, “And I was hoping you’d be willing to join us this Friday. We’re having a lovely grilled salmon with asparagus. It should be simple enough for you to have some.”

Malcolm raised an eyebrow, “Sounds like you’ve already planned for me to be there.” His mother rarely served anything that didn’t have some sort of creamy richness to it. It was half the reason he’d rarely show up to dinner in the first place.

“And...” Jessica continued, her red lipstick smile becoming smaller but somehow seemed more… sincere, “I’d like you to invite Dani to dinner as well.”

“Dani?” Both his eyebrows raised. “I don’t think so–”

“Oh please, Malcolm,” Jessica interrupted, growing impatient, “I know I haven’t been as supportive as I should’ve been but I was just worried and with everything going on, can you blame me?”

Malcolm rolled his eyes, “Actually, yes I can.”

Jessica sucked in her cheeks, “I apologize if that sounded insulting… all I meant was that if this young lady is in fact as important to you as you say, isn’t it only fair I get the chance to have a proper conversation with her?”

Malcolm looked to the ground for a moment then back at his mother’s expectant face. He did not like the idea of giving his mother anything after all the poor reactions she had displayed in the past. Though she did make an effort with the little hat and socks, he knew his mother did most things in bad faith and he wasn’t sure what her  _ real  _ motive was. 

He wanted to believe she  _ was _ trying to extend the olive branch to accept Dani. Nothing would make him happier than his mother supporting him and the two people who’d saved his life but things for him were rarely ideal and his mother had never supported him on  _ anything. _

He gave her a pointed look, “And you won’t ask rude and invasive questions?”

Jessica daintily held her hands up in the air, “I promise I won’t be a smother.”

“Alright...” Malcolm conceded, hoping he wasn’t walking his partner into a setup, “But you do know that I can’t nor will I speak for Dani. If she doesn’t want to come, we won’t.”

“I do not expect you to,” Jessica replied with a slow nod, unused to him being a part of a  _ we _ , “But I do hope you’ll tell her that we would love to have her there. She’s…part of the family now.”

“I’ll let you know.”

–––––––––––––––

Dani stretched as she opened her eyes. These days, she was grateful for the rare occasions where they got the chance to go home right at the end of their shift because there were no big cases to solve. 

She was never the type to nap after work, she was usually somewhat energized for a few hours after leaving work, eager to leave behind death and depravity. She loved catching up on shows or reading, running errands or even spending an afternoon making something a little more elaborate for dinner but these days… all she wanted to do was sleep.

For the longest, it hardly felt real there was someone growing inside of her as she assumed her normal routine but now at the almost 10 weeks mark...normal was starting to feel a lot more tired and achy.

Dani sat up, reluctantly getting out of bed and wrapping her satin kimono robe around her. What caught her eye was a pleasant surprise she was getting used to. 

Malcolm in their kitchen, making...something. 

They thankfully had nowhere else to go after clocking out as he’d changed out of his dark gray windowpane suit and into a faded shirt from undergrad and black joggers. His freshly washed hair was messy and falling in his face, the way she liked it.

She greeted his wide dimpled grin with a rested smile of her own as she came over to the kitchen, “Hey there.”

“Hi,” Dani yawned as she came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist, and resting her head on his shoulder. Malcolm smiled a bit to himself, feeling her slight bump growing more every day, press against his back.

“Did you sleep well?”

Dani smiled, pressing her cheek against his shoulder, still feeling a bit groggy, “Very well. That bed is very comfortable… though it would’ve been more comfortable–and warmer–if my partner had been there.”

Malcolm held back a laugh, though his eyes did crinkle in that way she loved, “Well, your partner thought it might be nice if you woke up to a homemade dinner.”

“You make me breakfast, you bring me lunch, and now you’re making me dinner ...” Dani hummed as her chin rose to rest on his shoulder, holding him closer, “You better be careful or I’ll be expecting this every day.”

Malcolm smiled, “I hope you like what I’m making.”

“What  _ are _ you making?”

“Just another recipe from one of your books.”

“Come on, tell me.” She smiled, hugging him tighter, making her bump poke his back even more.

Malcolm smirked, enjoying having this odd upper hand, “It’s a surprise.”

“Bright...” She playfully whined before pressing a kiss against his cheek, lingering longer than she had to, “Please...”

Malcolm grinned crookedly as he turned around in her arms as she pressed him against the counter, “Okay, I’m making lemon ricotta ravioli.” Dani’s eyes lit up, making Malcolm’s heart flutter though more from her pressing into him than any excitement she might’ve had from him cooking her Italian food as her hands trapped him in between herself and the counter.

“You really are perfect,” Dani teased, not realizing how close he was to melting into the floor at words he never expected anyone to say to him–much less someone like her. “Or at least, perfect for me.”

“It’s because I season my food,” He replied with a light smirk, trying to play it off.

“You were taught by a  _ boricua _ ...it makes sense so I’m  _ very _ excited to eat it,” Dani said lowly, making him wonder if her excitement had anything to do with food at all, especially as her hips rolled into him. Her playful smile stretched over her full lips as his eyes widened and breath hitched. 

_ She’s seriously trying to kill me... _ he thought, as he looked into her dark eyes feeling far more tempted than he should’ve.

“Joking aside,” Malcolm cleared his throat, hating how flustered he sounded. “...You know I was taught by Jackie after any meal at my mother’s house.”

“I know for a fact that you barely eat when you’re at that house,” Dani replied as she took a step back–to his slight disappointment– to examine Malcolm’s workstation, “And now I know why.”

Malcolm let out a tiny laugh of his own, “While the lack of seasoning does make most of the food there unappetizing… it’s just I’m not really in the habit of eating much. Most food actually does make me sick… except Jackie’s food.” He gave a sad smile as he remembered all the times that wonderful woman let him into her home and gave him the love and comfort that he so desperately needed at the time after the horrors of boarding school and being ignored at home or at the Hamptons or any other place his mother made them pretend to be a family, “Those were the only meals I looked forward to.”

Dani squeezed his arm softly, “Maybe you and I can start cooking together...”

“I’d love that.” Malcolm’s eyes crinkled the way she loved most, “We could do that now.”

“Or we could do that later...” There was an unusual glint in Dani’s eyes as she gently tugged on the front of his shirt, pulling him in for a sweet, lingering kiss. His lips parted for her instantly.

Malcolm’s mind started buzzing, his hands had found their way to Dani’s waist out of habit. He reluctantly pulled back, before his resolve shattered and he let his obviously hormonal partner do whatever she wanted with him.

His voice lowered and raspy, “I know eating for two isn’t a thing but you do actually need to eat, you haven’t had anything since lunch.”

“Not true,” Dani sang, nipping his chin as her hands found the waistband of his joggers.

“If twizzlers and tea don’t count for me, they don’t count for you either.” He gently untangled himself from her, kissing her palms as he guided them to his neck.

“And...” Dani wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a scrunched smirk, “What will you give me if I do?”

“My undying love and fidelity,” Malcolm’s brows raised, barely fighting off a smile as he ran his hands down her back.

“I already have that,” Dani just gave him a wide grin, “What else?”

Malcolm felt his heart race as he started to realize she was looking for a  _ reward _ , “What  _ do _ you want?”

Dani bit her lip, practically purring, “I think you know...” she leaned in, her lips barely an inch away from his ear as she whispered, “Want me to tell you  _ how _ I want it?”

Malcolm could feel heat rise up his neck as he felt Dani’s hands find their way under his shirt and over his stomach as she pulled him in for another kiss; she had him hooked. 

He cleared his throat as he very reluctantly pulled away before his alleged big brain could conjure up images of the type of commands he’d be all too happy to obey, trying to remain gentlemanly and focused on feeding her and their growing little one in utero, “I should probably check to make sure the oven’s still pre-heating.” He felt Dani’s hands reach for the band of his joggers causing him to dance away with laughter, “What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing...” Dani smirked, “ _ Yet _ .”

“I hope you mean this lemon ricotta ravioli we really should be getting ready to put in the oven.” Malcolm teased as this was probably the first time he could say he was talking to Dani’s hormones–though he didn’t realize they’d make her like  _ this. _

Dani grabbed the dish rag and gently swatted his ass, “You know I don’t.”

“Did you just-” Malcolm couldn’t even finish his sentence as he burst out laughing.

“What?” Dani laughed along with him before smirking, her dark eyes glowing with humor and  _ something else. _ “You wish it was my hand instead?”

Malcolm smirked back, calling her bluff, “Well, I mean if you want...”

Dani giggled as she turned back to his workstation and started placing the ravioli on a baking sheet, “You’re so weird”

“I thought you like weird.” He said as wrapped his arms around her from behind.

Dani placed a hand on her stomach, “Clearly I like weird a little too much.”

Malcolm grinned as he kissed her jawline. Dani turned around in his arms to face him as he leaned in and kissed her tenderly before pulling back, “I love you but we really should get dinner ready.”

“Really?” Dani laughed, scrunching her nose in disappointment.

“Although,” Malcolm’s voice lowered to a husky tone, causing pleasant shivers down her spine as he whispered against her lips, “I would be  _ very _ interested in dessert later...”

–––––––––––––––

Once the ravioli was ready, Malcolm plated the pasta. While he filled Dani’s plate, he barely filled half of a dish for himself. He enjoyed cooking for her and he promised that whatever he made he’d make the effort to eat too.

Dani had already queued up an episode of  _ The Simpsons _ , momentarily forgetting about wanting to jump his bones. 

He could already hear her laughing as this episode featured Mr. Burns–her favorite character. Though their tastes were wildly different, it was a show they both enjoyed and had fun rediscovering. 

She especially loved it when Malcolm would pause an episode to explain some obscure reference; his nerdy side was one he showed off often but she was almost always amazed by all the things he knew. 

From his knowledge of antique weapons to how  _ Cinderella _ saved the Disney Studio as they know it today–a fact he shared only because she asked if he felt like queuing up Disney+.

Malcolm was infinitely curious and she couldn’t help but wonder if their son–she didn’t know for sure obviously but she couldn’t stop thinking of her peanut as the baby Bright she wanted so badly–would be the same way.

He handed her the plate before sitting down next to her on the leather sofa. Dani smiled at him as she saw the food on his own plate; it wasn’t much but at least it was something. She pressed play on the episode before she took a bite of the ravioli, letting out a tiny involuntary moan, “Okay it is really not fair that you make such good food.”

Malcolm laughed, tilting his head, “What makes you say that?”

Dani scrunched her face with a smile as she squeezed one eye shut, “Because I seriously might make you cook every night… and that’s so not fair to you.”

Malcolm’s grin only widened, “Small price to pay considering you’re carrying my child. If I have to repay you in food, then I think I can do that with no problem.”

It wasn’t until a few moments later and they were both engrossed in the episode as they ate that Malcolm realized that he hadn’t told Dani about dinner at the manor. 

As much as he was trying to avoid Dani having to go there knowing it wouldn’t be a pleasant experience for either of them, he couldn’t simply drop this on her and he couldn’t hide it from her either.

Dani grabbed the remote as she placed her empty plate on the coffee table, “You wanna watch another one?” She turned to find Malcolm staring blankly at the screen, “Bright?”

“Hmm?” He perked up, now with her again, “Uh, yeah, I’d love to.”

Dani paused the theme song as she studied him further, “Everything okay?”

“I just...” Malcolm sighed as he turned to look at her, “I forgot to tell you something.”

She narrowed her eyes. If Malcolm  _ forgot  _ to tell her something, it was probably terrible, “Okay...”

“My mother invited the two of us to dinner Friday night,” Malcolm said sheepishly, gauging her reaction which wasn’t great but she wasn’t scoffing in “not a chance in hell” either. 

“When was this?” Dani asked expectantly.

“This afternoon as we were leaving the courthouse.”

“Oh…” Dani said neutrally, “You make it sound you’d been sitting on this for days.” She folded her legs underneath her as she scooted closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder, “Well, I can’t say I’m all that excited for a dinner with your mother.”

“But...” He inquired, knowing there was more to her statement.

“But I guess it’s not about me...it’s about you too and our child, so… I’m not against it...” Dani trailed off and he pulled her legs into his lap. He knew Dani didn’t care for his mother and she was entirely justified in that but she was willing to try when she didn’t have to and he honestly couldn’t love her more for it.

–––––––––––––––

Dani Powell was not an insecure woman.

Far from it. She was proud of who she was, she was proud of what she did, and quite frankly, she was proud of how she looked. She wasn’t obsessed with her appearance but she liked looking nice.

Dani always knew what to wear and how to wear it. She always knew,  _ always… _ except in this moment. 

She knew that with the pregnancy, there would come some changes to her body. She knew that some clothes wouldn’t fit as they once did for a little while and she was fine with that.

Her nerves started to take over once she tried looking for something to wear for dinner at her insanely posh boyfriend’s mother’s home. 

Nothing seemed right. 

Two days of looking through her closet and putting different combinations of tops and bottoms and even dresses but nothing was right… nothing fit right.

It wasn’t like Jessica Whitly likely had a good impression of her in terms of appearance. Her cop clothes were fine–no, she didn’t wear a skirt and heels to work but she still looked good–it was that mortifying morning where she and Malcolm were caught pretty much sans clothing. Well, Malcolm was sans clothing and she was in his underwear–it was mortifying nonetheless.

In their defense, they weren’t expecting an angry WASP to burst through the door without an invitation. Needless to say, she didn’t need to give Jessica a valid reason to suspect that she wasn’t good enough for her son, no matter how shallow that reason would be.

She hurriedly took off her latest attempt at a “suitable” outfit. 

A maroon dress that Malcolm had once complimented,  _ I love you in red,  _ just didn’t have the effect she was expecting. It was too tight in the stomach to make the cute wrap effect work and the low neckline looked borderline indecent now that her chest was a cup size and a half bigger than it was 10 weeks ago. 

She looked… pregnant.

That having been the third outfit she’d tried to make work in the last hour, she settled for going back into the outfit that had been her favourite the past few days; a pair of sweatpants and one of Malcolm’s many Harvard shirts before sinking onto their bed, surrounded by her discarded clothes.

Her eyes began to sting as she took slow, deep, quiet breaths. Something had to fit, right?  _ But nothing did. _

“Dani?” Malcolm’s voice came from the bathroom as he opened the door. He always showered last because Dani complained he took too long, to which he always replied that he’d save time if she joined him. He was all but dressed only needing to grab his suit coat and slip on his shoes. He ran a hand over his gelled back hair to smooth it over once more, tucking loose strands behind his ear, “You know that dinner’s at 6:30 so if we get there by 6:25, we don’t have to make awkward small talk over drinks,” He tried to joke though he wasn’t feeling particularly enthused about family dinner himself. When she didn’t answer, his brows furrowed, “Dani?”

He walked over to the bed to find Dani sitting on a pile of her clothes, her arms wrapped around her stomach and her shoulders slumped.

“Nothing fits...” She murmured, trying to wipe her tears away so he didn’t have to see her cry over something she would usually find so ridiculous.

He sat down next to her, gently taking her hand, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing fits like it used to...” Dani replied as she let Malcolm help her stand up, “And even if it did, I can't wear any of this stuff to your mom’s.” She sniffed as she wiped away a stray tear, “Already, she doesn’t think I’m good enough… I can’t-”

She was the girl Malcolm accidentally knocked up not the girl his mother would want sitting at her table. That would be the case even if his mother weren’t Jessica Whitly–and the entire luggage set of baggage that went along with that.

“Hey...” Malcolm gently moved both his hands to cup her face, “No matter what you wear, you’ll look amazing. You always do and whatever my mother thinks… she doesn’t know you the way I do and if she did, she’d know it’s  _ me _ who isn’t good enough.”

Dani sniffled back a smile, “Don’t say that...”

“Oh, but it’s true.” Malcolm smiled, wiping one last tear away with his thumb. His eye fell to the pile of clothes scattered on the bed. He thought for a moment before picking up a high waisted cream coloured leather skirt as he went to her closet and pulled out a semi sheer turtleneck top in the same colour. He gave her a grin as he walked back over to her, “Maybe this’ll work? And with those clear heels you have too.”

Dani’s mouth quirked up slightly before unsurety colored her dark eyes, “But my stomach’s gonna show...”

“And you’ll look beautiful. You’re a  _ home  _ and that’s beautiful,” He gently pressed his palms against the small bump on her stomach before leaning in to kiss her, “And I couldn’t be more grateful.”

“Malcolm Bright...” She finally smiled against his lips as she accepted the outfit from him, “Full time profiler, part time stylist.”

“I know what looks good.” He smirked as his hands gently moved to her lower waist as he pulled her flush against him before. His hands running over her ass.

Dani smirked back, her eyes narrowing playfully in that way of hers, “No business tonight, Malcolm.”

Malcolm nodded, his lips curving as he pulled away, “Of course not...” 

Though he knew what happened when she called him by his first name and her voice dropped into that husky, throaty tone. It was the sort of thing that led to him having to help her choose an outfit in the first place.

He was about to walk away when Dani wrapped her arms around his neck, a smile pulling at her lips–a look he still wasn’t used to in her dark eyes.  _ So much for no business tonight _ ...

Malcolm grinned, showing off his dimples, “You should be getting dressed.”

Her voice lowered suggestively, “What if I don't want to?”

“I would take you up on that...” He bit his lip before pouting slightly as the idea of having dinner began to take on an  _ entirely  _ new meaning, “But my mother’s expecting us...”

“Later then?” Dani looked up at him through her lashes.

“Definitely,” He kissed her again–this time slowly, “I’ll leave you to get dressed.”

She gently grasped his hand, “Talk to me while I change?”

Malcolm felt his brain short circuit for a moment, “Y-yeah… of course.”

–––––––––––––

He’d never done this before. 

Somehow, watching Dani put clothes on and doing it as they talked, seemed more intimate than the both of them being under the covers with nothing separating them. 

He’d seen Dani without clothes many times but watching her strip off in all of her perfection made even more so in his eyes by the growing evidence of their love for each other–did  _ things _ to him.

And Malcolm would be lying if he said that seeing her do a little hop, easing her tight skirt over her hips and ass didn’t almost send him over the edge. 

He knew his mother wanted to see them together–for reasons he still didn’t trust– but watching Dani was making him seriously consider cancelling the dinner to stay in their apartment and take her to bed.

“Bright?” Dani’s voice pulled him out of his less-than-pure thoughts, “Can you check to see if I’m tucked in at the back?”

“Uh, yeah, of course.” Malcolm got up and could confirm that her top and skirt weren’t causing any odd bumps or wrinkles. His hands gently brushed her waist and hips as he looked her over.

Dani eventually turned with her mouth scrunched with a tiny smirk, “Everything okay?”

“Yeah...” Malcolm replied as a soft smile formed on his lips, he felt... _ good _ ...being able to help her like this. He liked feeling useful even if it was for something like choosing an outfit because Dani could wear a burlap sack and still be a complete stunner, “You look perfect.”

Dani’s gaze fell to the floor as her smirk turned to a shy smile as she walked away, “Well, not quite. I still need to do my makeup.”

It wasn’t long before she emerged from the bathroom. Her makeup didn’t drastically change her appearance as she felt more comfortable with a no-makeup makeup look but Dani felt like she had freshened up a little. 

Just a bit of light coverage foundation and eyeliner with blush made her feel like she was ready for this dinner especially as she fluffed her curls. She’d brushed them out so they fell in soft waves. 

She didn’t know how this dinner would go but at least they didn’t  _ look _ incompatible.

Malcolm had chosen a cute outfit for her–one she wouldn’t have worn on her own, being too shy and unused to her new, changing body. She wasn’t surprised he’d solved her fashion dilemma as Malcolm himself went no day without being dressed to the nines. 

She felt good about herself and she didn’t realize how much that meant until she didn’t. 

Dani glanced up at Malcolm who leaned against the door frame, watching her get ready. No one had ever looked at her the way he did. No one had ever made her feel beautiful without saying anything at all. She absently fluffed her hair once more as her smile became as radiant as ever, “Ready?”

“Yeah… I’m going to my mother’s incredibly turned on… what could go wrong?” Malcolm quipped around a laugh as he stood up straight, holding out his arm, “Shall we?”

Dani walked up to him with a slight smirk before placing her hands on his chest, giving him a soft kiss before pulling back, biting her lip, “This shade looks good on you.”

Malcolm raised an eyebrow, trying to hold back his own smirk, “You’re cruel… you know that?”

Dani’s thumb gently swiped across his bottom lip, wiping away the pale pink lipstick she left behind before her hand intertwined with his as she stepped into her clear heels, “But you love me for it.”

“I do…” His face grew impossibly soft as they made their way out of their apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back with a new chapter! A big thanks to @morningssofgold because this chapter wouldn't be as great as it is without her help! Hope you enjoy what we have in store for you because things are just starting to get good!!

**Author's Note:**

> So what started as trading headcanons back and forth turns into easily one of my favorite story ideas ever. Writing this with the amazing @Florexandra has been the most fun experience ever and I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as we're enjoying writing it.
> 
> Another song that influenced this one is "Wonder" by Shawn Mendes


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